Hello all.To make a long story short,My husband and I have been together for 16 years,married 9 years.Through out our marriage we have both had infidelity issues,however I strayed this last time.This was the worse.I left my husband and family for another man.This has destroyed my family,and myself.I returned the beginning of July,for my husband said that he would try and work things out.He left 4 days later.He is involved in an emotional relationship with my best friend,whom I no longer talk to.Since my return,My husband has returned 2 more times to the home.This third time,he stayed 6 days.Everything was going well under the circumstances.I started therapy to deal with my sexual addictions.I have apologized,and I am sincerely remourseful.He is afraid to ever be hurt again,plus he said that if he took me back that he would have no self respect for himself.He also said that he is ashamed and embarrased to be seen with me or for his friends to know that he took me back.We have 3 children together.I would do anything to save our relationship.We still love eachother very much.He cannot forgive,and is not willing to put 100% into making our relationship work.what should I do?p.s he does not admit to his emotional relationship with my ex best friend.Every time he leaves it is because we have an arguement about him breaking ties with her.He blames me for leaving because of what I did.I am sure that plays a big part as well.he is very ambivalent.I also need to say that I have strayed many more times than him.It had been 6 years that I have not strayed untill this year in march.Please help me.

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Votes accepted starting: 08/18/06 09:20 AM
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Pep

I read your post 3 times trying to figure out what was bothering me ....

here it is

you are very VERY V E R Y

self focused


that's it ???

that's all you want to mention about your children?
they exist in all this chaos and you give no mention of the ways you are trying to protect them from further harm....


you give no mention to how you are working to correct some of the harm you caused when you abandoned your children ....

what are you currently doing for these poor children?

this is the gaping hole in your first post that bothers me

who's minding the children?

Pep

PS

Welcome to Marriage Builders!!!

Please read the entire concepts area of the site ... it should help you tremendously

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Pep

I am currently reading books to help my children.one of the major problems in our marriage was I always put the kids first.I am trying to save my marriage so my kids will benefit.I have learned that I should have put my husband first.Thanks for the welcome:)