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carried on by women who have just given birth months earlier? I can't name them all but I seem to remember at least 5 or 6. My WW and STBXW started her affair with a lunatic, 23 years her senior, AT WORK, 6 months after giving birth.
Can post partum depression, chemical imbalances, hormonal changes, etc help facilitate the feelings (in someone who is already perhaps weak of character, morals, minded) that help lead to an affair? It's sad, sick and at the same time amazing that a woman or a man could betray their spouse only months after one of the great joys that God provides us, children. I will never get it.
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makes no sense to me
sorry
Pep
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Actually, I'm more amazed and disappointed by the number of examples we read about right here on this fourm of men who have affairs WHILE THEIR WIVES ARE PREGNANT - or soon after.
So much for Intelligent Design. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />
WAT
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My guess is that is has to more with a women's self esteem after childbirth than the chemical imbalances and post partum issues. Probably associated with the extra weight that is typical and harder to shed after the 2nd or thereafter. My wife's A started when both our kids were toddlers. The youngest one just about a year old. That is the part that I never could understand, that she was so willing to give up them for her own self gratification when at least on the surface they were the world to her.
As for WAT's comment, I too am in disbelief on the men that start an A while their wife is PG. Neither of these trends make much sense to me, but as we all know...very little about an A actually is logical ever.
NT
O God, give us the serenity to accept what cannot be changed, courage to change what should be changed, and wisdom to distinguish the one from the other... Rienhold Niebuhr
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Hey WAT. I included the guys in my post. It just seems to me that having a baby and producing a baby are on different levels of intimacy and personal ??? I don't condone either a man or a woman having an A particularly at or near a childs birth (+/-2 years).
That said I do think I have seen more instances where a man would go out and have sex with a woman, an affair albeit, but not "fall in love" with the A partner and have no interest in leaving his family while on the other hand it seems to be that women can go out and fall head over heels in love with the new man and be ready to give up their family for him. I am not saying a man can't do that as well but it seems more prevalent with the females.
Just an opinion and it really doesn't matter because the fact that either sex could have an A after something so wonderful happening in their lives is beyond me.
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Whatever the reason, it’s all good for business. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
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h&p - I didn't intend my response to be a disagreement - sorry if it came across that way.
Thinking about this some more, it makes less sense to me for a new Mom to stray than a new dad - not that it makes any sense at all.
Let me try that again:
Thinking about this some more, it's even more nucking unbelievable to me for a new Mom to stray than a new Dad.
I remember watching the "nesting instinct" of my wife with our two sons. She worked us both ragged getting the house, etc. ready for the new arrival. It was quite funny - especially how she denied having any nesting instinct. Lest anyone doubt, we ARE related to our animal cousins.
So, what has gone wrong in a new Mom who strays - obviously contradicting all Motherly instincts?
I'll say it's not without some form of sickness in the human brain, i.e., it's not just a selfish choice. Not even our cousins do anything this wacky.
JMHO
WAT
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I think there could be something to it. In my first marriage that barely lasted four years, my wife fell in love with a co-worker 15 years her senior while she was pregnant with our 2nd child. She came from a broken family and hated her real dad, step dad was an alcholic. He was, get this, married, 3 kids, and a preacher at a local small church. He contracted out computer work during the week. I kept asking myself How did I get involved in a deal like this? Anyway, they are divorced because she fell in love with the next contract IS guy some 7-8 years later. I tried for 6 months to hold onto the marriage. Finally had to let go. It was a very bad experience. What I am going through now has brought up some of those old memories.
Me - BS 49
WW - 44
Married 18 years
DDay 5-17-06
Two Teenage boys
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Include my WW in that group.
We have children ages 13,10 and 2. When WW confessed about the A just a week before the youngests second B-Day you could have knocked me over with a feather. Also include the fact WW is about to reach birthday #40 and is suffering from a real identity crisis.
No we are separated and divorcing (her choice), and she sees her baby just every other week. This is the same woman who did not want to go on weeked escapes with me and leave the baby behind because she would miss her too much.
Sad.
Hardlesson
BS: Me (41)
FWW: XW (40)
Children: Three daughers (2, 10, 13)
DDay: 6/3/2006
M: 19 years
Divorced: 10/4/2006
Out of the valley of dispair and working my way back up the mountain.
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