My story...H had A, I found out...hired PI...H ended A. Ow will not let go...called constantly on H's cell and boat...we changed numbers.

She has sent emails, bmails on forums H frequents, trashing me...that went on and on. Plus much much more.

Things we couldn't prove were her...nails propped under my tires..we saw them in time...boat fuel tank filled with sugar...small things vandalized on boat,etc...so I bought a surveillance system for the boat at the marina.

So here's when it all started. H had a couple of world record fish caught on his boat. OW is rep for IGFA, the world record people. She challeged his catch. H emailed IGFA and told them that she and he had a history, she was bitter and that she shouldn't be involved in his catches because she's not a disinterested party and she knows he wants no contact from her. Next we get a letter from her lawyer saying we could get sued for libel. We ignore it.

We go fishing last week in July, in a tourny. Our tire is flat when we get back. Think it's her. Firestone said it did not look like a purposely done puncture. It was a slit on the inside of tread. Couldn't be fixed, bought new one...I did not go back and check cameras because of what firestone had said.

Next week we went fishing again..another flat tire. But this time there is a witness and they tell us when we get back. It was OW. We called police. The tire had slit on inside just as the last one. I go back the next day to look at cameras. They are destroyed. But the DVR can be fixed with new wire. I check it...it was cut off prior to the tire slashings by 2 days. But I do have OW trespassing on our boat stealing bait.

I make another police report with first tire slashing, surveillance camera damage and trespassing.Police said we should just go to magistrate ourselves for the trespassing because we have the evidence. We do.

Detective has now talked to her. She confessed to the 1 tire slashing. Said she did it by ACCIDENT. WHAT? Said she would pay for it if we would drop the rest of the vandalism charges. The CG also had been informed by the police (she is a LTCMDR) so they should hammer her that way. Her CO will be informed. That's for all of you who wanted me to go to her CO from the beginning!!

So as it stands we can get $ for 1 tire and let other vandalism charges slide. We can go to court with all charges pending and see if we can get a guilty conviction or we can see if she'll pay all damages which are for about $1000 and drop the charges. BTW the trespassing charges are separate and we will go to court no matter what for that.

So what would you all do? If we go to court we could get a conviction and restitution...the risk is publicity to everyone and it could get out of control. If we settle at least we get our money back, but without a conviction. But the money really means nothing...You get the idea. My kids are my main concern when it comes to the publicity. They know nothing about the A.

The thing is the crimes happened in a town an hour away. So it's not like it's right here.

I'd love to hear what you all think about this crazy OW.

I would take her to court, inform her CO of the newest, and get a restraining order. She sounds like she is obsessed.

A restraining order has teeth. If she breaks it, she will end up in JAIL.

Believer,
She is obsessed. Her CO will be informed by the CG investigator. I will find out his/her name to verify that. Why do you think a RO is the way to go? How can I prove that she's breaking that RO if she does?

Cameras. Lots of cameras. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Agree with Neak. It ain't rocket science Michele.

One side question here - who's doing the heavy lifting on your side - you or your H?


How much more out of control can it get?

Does your H now understand how messy affairs can get? What's his attitude about all this?

I guess this is my point > why are you here asking these questions instead of your H?

If you've got a boat big enough to go after IGFA records, you don't need $1000. But she needs to feel consequences, so get an RO and make sure her CO knows about all this.

Do you have a nick name for her? How 'bout "teaser bait"? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Another vote for the restraining order here.

I've dealt with 2 stalkers in my life. It was TERRIFYING. But as soon as you get the police involved and the stalker faces the possibility of jail time, they usually stop.

She needs to know that your husband and you won't tolerate her behavior.

Michele, I am with the others. This psycho needs to feel the full effect of the law. If she gets off with a mild handslap and a $1000 fine, she will feel she can just get away with it again. I would go the full monty with her. She is downright scary!

Michele, I understand that your H doesn't want any more publicity about this and I fully understand his misgivings about taking it further. But it has now gone beyond a matter of protecting his REPUTATION, to a matter of protecting YOUR SAFETY. Your safety is PARAMOUNT here and must be the first priority.

Just getting restitution does not solve the problem, but only leaves her free to stalk to you and him another day.

Neak,BK,...I've bought 2 new, better cameras. Got them last night. Need to get them up.

Dobie, Believer...I will look into th RO. I think I need to go back to the magistrate. I'm wondering if that could be part of the end result.

Mel and WAT...It wasn't his rep alone that we were considering. He does not have a problem with all of the A stuff comng out. I was trying to keep my private life private. My family doesn't even know about it. And I was trying to keep it from the kids. But in reality, I doubt they would ever get wind of this.

And your right. The money means nothing compared to the consequences that will be bestowed upon her. I actually think that she would laugh while writing the check out if we let her off that easy.

I just wanted to make sure that what I was going to do was for the right reason and not for revenge. I feel fine proceeding with the charges. I think if we don't she'll just do something again, but will get much sneakier about it.

Once again, you all keep me straight and I'm grateful.

BTW, her nickname is She Devil. But I have used others. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Michele,

Revenge is not necessarily a bad motivation. Just remember it's a dish best served cold.

I agree on the RO too BTW.

Good 4 U! The more cameras, the better to catch her being a bad, bad girl.

I'm going to say a special thank-you prayer for Gargamel tonight. It could have been so much worse. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Surely SD will give up and go away eventually.

This woman is crazy....and I agree that she needs to have her butt in court.

Cameras are a great asset in court. For they can see that this woman is out to mess with you two.

My now exH's OW was the one that would call me and tell me she is going to commit suicide if I told her husband. I was naive and held back from telling her husband until she gave me the okay. If I could do it over....I would of told immediately, no matter what my ex said and no matter what the other woman said.

They knew what they were doing in the affair and she knows what she is doing is downright illegal. Keep up the good surveillance and justice will happen. Blessings.

I haven't gotten the new cameras up, there is a problem with the wires. Anyway, we're still on it.

Now this is what I don't understand. The detective called. We told him we wanted to preceed with the charges. He told us that WE would have to go back to the magistrate to swear out the warrant for the slashed tire and everything else, even though she confessed to him. He said that his SGT would not want him to do it because restitution was offered. Does that make any sense? I sure don't understand the justice system.

So first chance we get, off to the magistrate we go.

Thanks for the reponses Neak, BK and LH. I believe in the end justice will prevail, but boy howdy, it sure confuses me.

For the small stuff, unless the police officer personally witnessed the crime, his function is to assist you, the victim, in making a citizen's arrest.

You could actually arrest her yourself if you wanted. Now wouldn't THAT be a hoot!

But I recommend using the local constabulary.

Dunno if that makes sense or not, but that's how it is.

Wow Neak, I didn't know that. And to think I've wasted hours upon hours watching cop shows. LOL.

Thanks. We will use the magistrate.It just still doesn't make any sense to me.

I learned that a month or two ago when my sister got a death threat message on her phone, and the caller ID came up as one of the church deacons.

Very dramatic-sounding, but it turned out to be some dumb kid who had stolen the deacon's cell phone made similar calls to all the females on the poor (very young) man's contact list. Including his mother. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

So we learned some of the ins and outs of arresting folks for minor crimes. They will let us know if Neaksis is ever in a position to arrest the culprit, with the aid of a police officer.

Youth...nuf said. That poor deacon.

Yeah and wouldn't it be something showing up at OWs work to arrest her with a policeman in tow. Just the thought...oh well...we're gonna get justice one way or another. And the sooner the better.

Stick with this. I KNOW that the system works. My first stalker was when I was only 19. It was a guy I'd gone out with only once. He started showing up EVERYWHERE. I had to drop out of college, move out of my apartment. I was TERRIFIED.

He made the mistake of coming to where I worked, and the cops were called. He went to jail. That ended it.

Most stalkers are cowards. They feel like they can bully you. When you decide to get tough, they disappear.