Just would like to express a situation that happened to me and for women to be careful. I was sexually assaulted by a friend of mine, her husband. I have not seen the friend and her husband for over 14 months. We last met at a wedding of their daughter and my daughters friends wedding. I was home by myself, my son was gone for a couple of hours. I just came into the house to get something to drink and to talk to a friend. A truck drove up my driveway....and as I was talking to my friend I told her I will call her back, for I didn't know who this was. This guy got out, and I knew him (Gentry) is his name. I have known him and his wife for his daughter and my daughter have been good friends in school since 3rd grade. He came to the porch and we gave a friendship hug and he came into the house to talk. He stated that he was here earlier but that my car wasn't here. For I was gone for about 2 hours. This was a red flag. The conversation was about his daughter that I knew and his family and the same here. He did say that I lost weight...for which I thought this was odd. We got up for him to leave and as he approached the door, I took my hand outward to him to shake goodbye. He pulled me to his chest, gave me a big hard hug, and ran his hands up and down the side of my body. He kissed me on the cheek and then as I was pushing myself away, he kissed me really hard on the lips. I got really scared and said leave. I pushed him hard and he grabbed my breast and I was so shook. He left and I told him to not come back to my house. I was so shaken and the girlfriend I was talking to, I called her later to tell her what happened. She of course told me what I already knew to do. I called the wife (Sharon) and told her what happened. I did the call and Sharon was so thankful for me calling her. The conversation started out with the family and such and then I asked her if she knew that her husband had visited me and what happened. I stated that I was upset and disturbed by what happened and she was shocked. I told her everything that happened, even that he was here earlier and I wasn't home, and that he said I lost weight, and he was asking about who was going to live with me. For he knows that most of my kids have left, but I lied and told him the church had some out-of-town clients coming in and I offered my home. The wife said thankyou and she was going to talk to him and keep an eye on him. For he is retired and she is retired. She said he didn't say anything about visiting me, and didn't say anything about visiting me when he returned home.

You don't know when this could happen, and now I have my alert eyes open for anyone coming to my home. She knows that I could press sexual assualt charges against him. Please, every women out there. Be careful, you don't know when someone you know could try to force themselves on you. I was appalled, and then I did look at what I was wearing to see if I was at fault. I had on old bluejeans and an oversized T-shirt, for I was working in the yard. I felt used and like something was wrong with me. There is nothing wrong with me, this guy had this planned and when he left he said your flowers look nice. Like I really care what he thought. But my friend that I was talking to said it was a way of overriding the incident. He probably thought that I would do nothing. For he knew my ex and knew that my ex was a controller. Well, his wife hopefully set him straight.

Please, all women, be careful, for now I am more aware and more careful. I thought that God would not allow this to happen, but Satan puts his claws in whereever he can. Blessings...to all women.

I am going to make a suggestion that I only ask you to consider.

If this has happened to you, it may happen to some other woman. And the perpetrator may be this man.

Think about that.

If it happens once, it may be part of a pattern.

I suggest that you call the police and file an incident report. That does not mean you press charges. It does not mean that it is investigated. It simply means that they talk to you, get the details, and file it away in case the info is ever needed. There is a record of the incident but they may be able to do this without doing any investigation or taking any action.

The record would simply exist should it ever be needed by you or someone else.

Now, being unsure where you live or what the policies are in your area, I don't know that the incident could be handled in the same way.

But, I had to do this once when my x had an angry outburst toward one of the children.

My friends here all told me that I needed to file the report as I felt the possibility existed that he might do something worse in the future. The police were kind and respectful and there was no investigation and no charges were filed.

I agree with cinderella.....file a report....that way, if he shows up again....you will have something already on file if you DO decide to press charges. I'd also get a restraining order against him. This guy could stalk you again....be prepared!!

Thank you for your advice. When I called the wife we discussed the incident and my filing charges. In my jurisdiction, they would have to investigate. The wife and I talked and I did state to her that I will call the police if he shows up in my yard again. The incident did make me quite aware that someone you know could have a mental problem, medications could cause a mental disturbance, or they just are not right in the mind. There is always the chance a single woman can be a victim, and therefore in this world we have to be extra careful with friends and family.

I will give you another example that was in my cell group at church. I have been in the cell group for over a year. I started dating a special man and he is going to church with me. During one of the cell meetings, one of the gentlemen in the group in general conversation asked if I was having sex with the guy. This of course, set me back, my eyes were opened wide, and his wife was sitting next to him came out and said to her husband that this is an inappropriate question to ask. I followed with the same statement and said, whatever he and I do is none of your business....and that I conduct myself in a manner that God would want me to follow. There has never been another statement of that sort. Others in my cell group heard him say the same question. They were totally surprised by his asking? I at that time thought, what do these people think, that I am out to have sex and that is it? I talked to my pastor about this.

Anyways, as a single woman, I am seeing that many people have contorted minds about a woman and many see you has a sexual commodity. At least the guy I am dating doesn't see me that way, and that is what counts. For we are having fun, yes we lay on the couch together watching TV and movies, we kiss but no sexual contact is happening. He respects me for me and wishes to follow the Lords path.

Wanted to post this so other women are more aware of what can happen. Thanks for responding. Blessings.

First off, I am very sorry about what happened to you. I have dealt with victims of assaults and need to ask you some very tough questions.

Where is your rage? You are not to blame for this in anyway. There should be a fury in you to see that someone that could hurt you in this fashion is dealt with appropraitely. Find that anger... it will be a great source of strength for you.

The police will need to arrest this man when you file the report. It is not up to you as to charges being pressed or not. It is up to you to pick up the phone and call the police and make the report immediately. This man needs to be locked up before he hurts YOU or anyone else ever again. So, what is stopping you from making the call?

And on a side note... it is not just single women that are viewed as a "sexual commodity." I can tell you as a single man... I have found that women are much more sexually agressive in dating than I could have imagined.

Please call the police.

Good luck.

LoveInHim,

I am so sorry you were assaulted in this manner. It was not your fault in any way shape or fashion. You questioned what you were wearing. Even though it was a baggy shirt and jeans, it would not have mattered if you were wearing something skimpy. This man HAD/HAS NO RIGHT to do what he did.

This situation really concerns me. Men that are aggresive and bold like that I don't think take rejection very well. I am frightened that he may return. Not only that, but he had no consequences. That gives him power over you.

I'm not saying the guy's wife is this way, but sometimes the wives of these creeps can downplay things so they don't have to face the reality of the type of person they are married to. I bet her first priority is to protect her family and their reputation. I would strongly advise that you contact the police and nip this thing. Remember, it could be turned around against you by the wife or the creep.

Please take extra precautions, lock your windows and doors every night and everytime you leave your house. Pay attention to your surroundings at all times and always have a plan of escape. Do you have a dog? Maybe it's time for a nice big German Sheppard.

Good luck and again, I am so very sorry. No one has the right to do this to you.

S.