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Wow, what a difference a year makes. I can't believe I have come this far. One year ago, tomorrow, was discovery day of my husband's EA, or should I say, confirmation day..... In my heart, I knew he was having an affair two months prior, after his "I love you, but am not in love with you." Speech. Then, I was out of control with wild emotions of raw desperation, shock, disbelief, and heartbreak. Now, I am at peace, happy, and have a marriage that is filled with, respect, consideration and love. Then, I was desperately hanging onto any shred of advice that the seasoned MB members offered. I was confused, afraid, and was trying hard to get a grasp on what needed to be done. The posters here, including, Melody Lane, (my mentor), Ark, (full of wisdom), The Wonderings, (legal advice), BobPure, (Inspiration with his lovely words of encouragement, Pep, and of course, the shoot from the hip, Lemon Man and so many more that posted to me when I was at my worst, guiding me through the impossible task of breaking up my husband's EA and showing me how to improve my marriage by being the best person I could possibly be. My heart is full of appreciation to all these posters and others I have failed to mention. Life is good now. To all the new BS. Don't give up hope..... My marriage was at the rock bottom when the EA happened. If my marriage could be saved, so can yours. Thanks again, to all my MB friends!!!! k.d.'heartbreak <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
In the end, I have nothing to lose but everything to gain, by trying to save my marriage.
Me, betrayed wife 46
Former Wandering Husband, 51 E/A 2005
28 years of marriage
DD 26, DS 24
O/W aka, Rat 29, A-D Assisted Living
Discovery 8-20-05 Recovery ongoing.
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KD, I am so glad things are looking up for you. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
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<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
MB Alumni
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This is so good to hear that your marriage was saved and to show others it can happen to them too. I was here many years ago in the same mess, my mental status was in the ditch and I just couldn't take much more. The marriage was not saved, and there is good reason for the marriage to not make it. My ex didn't want the marriage and now he is living in a commune. We both have moved on and the thing that hurts my heart, is my adult childrens hearts are broken.
You now can be here to help others work throught he process and help mend broken marriages. Congratulations!!!!
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Hey my friend! Kudos on celebrating your "new" marriage on this very tough anniversary.
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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KDSH, I remember your story. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> Glad to hear good news!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> take care, L.
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Thank you for the nice words, Orchid, my dear friend mbforward, faithful follower, BobPure, and loveinhim.
It has been a long haul, but who knows better than all of my friends that have been making this journey by myside.
Hugs to all of you,
k.d.'s heartbreak
In the end, I have nothing to lose but everything to gain, by trying to save my marriage.
Me, betrayed wife 46
Former Wandering Husband, 51 E/A 2005
28 years of marriage
DD 26, DS 24
O/W aka, Rat 29, A-D Assisted Living
Discovery 8-20-05 Recovery ongoing.
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God do I need to read this type of stuff round here...
ARK
Last edited by ark^^; 08/23/06 05:31 PM.
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Congratulations for making it through the first year, kds! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> You were a courageous warrior when you busted the OW at work and killed the affair. A very proud day. Good job, friend. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Congrats..KDS. I remember your story well. My D-Day was August 24, 2005 so tommorow is my 1 year. What a difference a year makes.
NT
O God, give us the serenity to accept what cannot be changed, courage to change what should be changed, and wisdom to distinguish the one from the other... Rienhold Niebuhr
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Congrats..KDS. I remember your story well. My D-Day was August 24, 2005 so tommorow is my 1 year. What a difference a year makes.
NT You don't get off so easy, NT. What is your status?? Did you go by a different name back then? I don't remember the name NT. Sincerely, k.d.'s Heartbreak
In the end, I have nothing to lose but everything to gain, by trying to save my marriage.
Me, betrayed wife 46
Former Wandering Husband, 51 E/A 2005
28 years of marriage
DD 26, DS 24
O/W aka, Rat 29, A-D Assisted Living
Discovery 8-20-05 Recovery ongoing.
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Congratulations for making it through the first year, kds! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> You were a courageous warrior when you busted the OW at work and killed the affair. A very proud day. Good job, friend. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> All with a little help from my friends!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> My little texan tornado, friend. Thank you, k.d.'s heartbreak
In the end, I have nothing to lose but everything to gain, by trying to save my marriage.
Me, betrayed wife 46
Former Wandering Husband, 51 E/A 2005
28 years of marriage
DD 26, DS 24
O/W aka, Rat 29, A-D Assisted Living
Discovery 8-20-05 Recovery ongoing.
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God do I need to read this type of stuff round here...
ARK Glad to have helped your moral, Ark. ((Ark)) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
In the end, I have nothing to lose but everything to gain, by trying to save my marriage.
Me, betrayed wife 46
Former Wandering Husband, 51 E/A 2005
28 years of marriage
DD 26, DS 24
O/W aka, Rat 29, A-D Assisted Living
Discovery 8-20-05 Recovery ongoing.
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<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> she makka me laugh! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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My status is strongly recovering. Not sure that process really ever ends. At least the rollercoaster part seems to be done with and most of our lulls are just when we let our guard down too much and start taking things for granted.
My nic was always Nottoday. Although my D-Day was 8/24 my FWW confessed to me about the A that had occurred ten years prior to that time and no contact in a lot of years but the secret and the dishonesty was a cancer in our relationship that nearly caused it to crumble. The confession only occurred after I had left to think things through and realized that the only thing that could explain the really vile and mostly irrational behavior of my FWW over all those years was a really dark secret that had been compartmentalized and needed to be continually fed with additional deciet and deception to keep growing.
Whew...glad that is over. Nonetheless, we appear to have made it and currently enjoying a much more fulfilling relationship than we ever imagined before the A and certainly for the ten years or so after the A and before D-Day.
O God, give us the serenity to accept what cannot be changed, courage to change what should be changed, and wisdom to distinguish the one from the other... Rienhold Niebuhr
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Glad to hear that you and Mr KDS are doing well!
Me-41 BS (FWS) DH-41 WS (FBS) 2DD's- 10 and 12 Married 15 years Separated for 2 years after my A Reconciled for 1 year before his A D-day for his A 8/23/05 WH moved out 9/16/05 Divorce final 1/23/07 Affair ended or month or so later My Story
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NT, I remember you now.... I recall you talking about the affair 10 years prior. Sometimes the bulb just doesn't light up... Thanks for the reminder, old age is creeping up.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
In the end, I have nothing to lose but everything to gain, by trying to save my marriage.
Me, betrayed wife 46
Former Wandering Husband, 51 E/A 2005
28 years of marriage
DD 26, DS 24
O/W aka, Rat 29, A-D Assisted Living
Discovery 8-20-05 Recovery ongoing.
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Posts: 284
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NT, I remember you now.... I recall you talking about the affair 10 years prior. Sometimes the bulb just doesn't light up... Thanks for the reminder, old age is creeping up.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> For me the bulb still lights up except it is getting really hard to change the bulb if it goes out...lol. The only thing that is ever certain is that next year at this time...we will all be one year older. NT
O God, give us the serenity to accept what cannot be changed, courage to change what should be changed, and wisdom to distinguish the one from the other... Rienhold Niebuhr
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Hi Jean,
How are you doing?
Wow, its like class reunion time. Lol.
k.d.'s heartbreak
In the end, I have nothing to lose but everything to gain, by trying to save my marriage.
Me, betrayed wife 46
Former Wandering Husband, 51 E/A 2005
28 years of marriage
DD 26, DS 24
O/W aka, Rat 29, A-D Assisted Living
Discovery 8-20-05 Recovery ongoing.
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