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Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 165
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Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 165 |
I have been reading about a lot of pain when the betrayer returns to the marriage. I only read select posts on the OW board but I saw a lot of pain there too when the straying spouse had chosen to return to their original marriage partner. <P>It occurred to me that the person not chosen must feel the same as the betrayed in an original marriage,if not worse, because of the ecstacy of the affair. I realise too that sometimes the betrayer chooses to return first too and has another set of problems, but I thought that this might help some couples understand each others pain as they try to rebuild.<P> <P>------------------<BR>It's always darkest before the dawn
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Joined: Oct 1999
Posts: 207
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Joined: Oct 1999
Posts: 207 |
It does always feel darkest before the dawn.<P>Yes, both the betrayed and the betrayer have lots of pain - in recovery, in discovery, and in the suspicious stage.<P>Dr. Harley says for the betrayed it is the worst kind of emotional pain possible. I believe it.<P>I think compassion for both sides is so important, because the need to be understood and to understand is a major human need.<P>
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Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 6,107
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Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 6,107 |
first of all... there's an OW board? Geez... I never saw that!<P>Secondly, the one thing that seems constant is that there's pain all around after an affair, no matter what the end choice is. Infidelity is wrong, wrong, wrong... how can that enter a marriage and not be painful? The end result can be good though. So, to echo Mush's reply, it's always darkest before the dawn. In fact, I agree with every word of her post!!<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>Marriage: the most important contract you'll ever enter into, and the most sacred.<P><BR>
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