*whew*

Quick link to past history: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...part=1&vc=1


What a week. WH had a terrible start last week, but we are now firmly (VERY firmly) in NC and withdrawal. OW has made it very clear that she does not want WH. All is verified with OW's H.... and I'm able to see some pretty clear signs of her change in behavior. And that while WH is still feeling the feelings of "love" for her, OW has completely let go and has NO feelings for WH. (To which I am floored, but I believe!) Again, all this is confirmed through sources and actions.

WH was placed in a new sq and is making GREAT steps forward. I've seen such a change in him toward ME this last week. Yes, WH has had a couple of bad days where he thinks about OW, but he will let me know if it's been a good or bad day. Communication is now open.

We had a date on Saturday and it was the first time that we had FUN instead of simply trying to spend that time together, and be uncomfortable.

We've got a LONG road ahead, but we are in this together. He's told his DO that he is committed to ME and that he intends to stay with me until he dies. That he loves me. That he said he didn't love me anymore because he wanted so badly to be with OW and it would just be easier to make me hate him... and for him to believe that he didn't love me.

Just didn't have time to hop on here to update...

But I believe that this week... was the first week of the rest of our lives. That we WILL make it.

I still check emails. Phones, and other sources... but I can see that he is honestly trying. That SHE is gone from our lives (and will be gone from HERE next month once she is out of the military). OW's H and I speak about once or twice a week to make sure how things are going and to encourage each other. To make sure that our spouses are telling the truth.

So far, so good. But I believe that we'll make it.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

So what are your plans for counseling?

Have you "exposed" MB and this forum to him?

Has he drawn any parallels or spoke of his previous affair?

WAT

Great job, will! This is all happening because you had the cojones to face this head on. You have a strong chance with the OW out of the picture.

Not yet... he's still reeling from the loss of his job and the uncertainty of his future. And still trying to get over HER. I intend on telling him of the forum and to encourage him to use it for support... but not right now. He'd be too ticked about me "talking" about it and getting advice from strangers. You know what I mean....

As for the previous affair. No parallels, but he does acknowledge that THAT one was the reason he felt so comfortable to pursue the second one. Seriously NO parallels. WIth the exception that he was seeking #2 out for sex (since he got away with it in #1). The #2 was the one where he got emotionally entangled. And that's what has cost him everything.

We've spoken about both A's, but the #1 isn't an issue anymore. Been addressed. Acknowledged. Remorseful. But we've moved past that one. The #2 is more painful because of the "love" that he feels for her. But in regards to that, WH has made wonderful steps and we've had some great talks.

MC is working, so far!

Thank you. I couldn't have had the courage without the MB advice. I cried A LOT. Still do. But at least we're moving forward right now.

I actually SAW OW today. Got almost physically ill. She looks pretty similar to ME!!! Ok, different color hair and 10 years younger, but I was struck by a lot of the same "things" about us. Same height, build (I'm a little more curvy thanks to having kids)... but wow. Took me a few moments to recover. No... she didn't see me, or at least didn't realize WHO I was....

Great news, will! Is it not amazing what can happen when there is n/c!?!

I remember the first time I saw the OW. I saw everything she had that I did not (including big boobs), altho she is average looking and I think I am also. As it turned out I would see her off and on and each time I could see her imperfections-the first impression I had (of her looks) was very distorted to her advantage. Now I am not quite sure how my H crawled in bed with her. I bet if you were to see her again in a few months (not that you would want to) you would see how different you look from her!

Keep up the good work!

just wondering how things were going. I'm following you guys because my WH is Army. HOping for the best.

Roxane