Just wondering if anyone's heard from GladToPressOn. The last time I heard from her was over a month ago and she was going away to visit family for 2 weeks. I hope she's ok.

--CO

bump^

bump huh oh, how are ya doing sarah?

Hey saenz

Nice to hear from you. How are you? Are things still going well? How is the new house coming along? All moved in?

I'm not doing well at all. I think we may finally be coming to the end of our M. Things are not going well at all. We talk about divorce almost every day and we don't get along at all. I just don't think I will ever be able to get over this. I don't know how these people can do it. How are you doing it?

One of my biggest problems right now is I told you before I found a website with the OW on it and she is the biggest [email]wh@re![/email] Her outfits are just so slutty. I can't even believe my H put our family on the line for a slut. I often wonder if I would feel better if I knew he at least picked someone he knew and thought he cared for. But he only knew OW for a month and only met her in person twice.

I just don't understand how this could happen to such a great M. All of my friends and family are telling me I need to make a decision on whether I want to stay and work on this or divorce and move on. It is all really coming at me right now. I have had major headaches the past two days and just crying at every trigger imaginable. I haven't been this bad for a while. I am still on my meds too.

So that is my update for now. I hope yours is better than mine.

--Sarah

sarah,

sorry to hear you having such a bad time w/ it. i'm almost in the same boat as you my W and I had a talk last week about our marriage and i told her that im not happy in it anymore that what she has done also has cut me deeply.

i told her that im going to give it a while longer and if i still feel the same way than i will end the marriage i know its hard to be w/ out someone especially after you been w/ them 4 so long but it will get better and easier.

i have my days where im happy w/ her but then i have more days of feeling sorrow and upset becouse she had the A and still threw all this she still doesnt see it as an affair.
but when you make it a thing to secretly meet someone in the middle of the night then yeah its an A. even though she says it never was physical but just a kiss its still an affair.

who knows though maybe you and I are of the same cloth that we just can't forgive such a mistake espeically one like this not only is it wrong but its such an invasion of trust and for me i put so much blind faith into the fact that she would never have an A and once again because i told her how much i would despise that so much or maybe un-knowinglly they had an A knowing that was our 1 golden rule.

Oh Sarah,

Did you ever get simple truth and the right to let it all out - do you get it now? It does help if you are allowed to feel your pain and if they do not try to minimise it. that is like putting a magnifying mirror over it.

I do not know how I have survived for so long. I cannot believe I am still in the M. I think I stayed for my own belief in the man I thought he was, then I had to forgive myself for staying. At last he is getting it and really going to therapy for himself, and he is easier to live with. We just talked about why he took OW to my two special places - out of a city of a million. he did it to hurt me, because he didn't like me at all. He had to convince himself of this, to allow his enjoyment of his sleazy A with a dishonest married OW. Wife of his friend and my friend.

So yes it can happen, but you need the right to be upset and unhesitating honesty.

180 got me through the hard days.

Linda

Saenz,

Sorry to hear you're in the same situation as me <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />! I guess you and I are a lot alike b/c everything you said is what I am feeling too. I keep saying, "Out of everything he could have done to me, why did he pick the 1 thing I told him not to." I would be here for him through anything else, drugs, alcohol, anything but this.

Linda,

I guess I got some answers from my H. He let me write down all the questions I had and he answered them. Of course, then I had more questions after, but no more answers for me I guess. I still sit and think a lot about what he's done and question things in my own mind. But my main problem right now is how unhappy I am.

We went to MC on Wed. with our pastor and he said I'm not ready for it yet b/c I still haven't made a final decision on whether I want to stay and work this out or D. He recommends I get individual counseling to help me with my decision on what to do. So that is my next step to get IC. I really don't want to but everyone is telling me I need to, so just like the meds that I didn't want to take, I will do the counseling for myself and see if it helps me.

Did you go to IC? Did it help you?

I'm glad to see your H is finally getting it. I do have to say my H has gotten it and helps me in any way he can, it is just me trying to move forward from the hurt and pain. I don't even think I've taken a baby step <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />!

So that is the update. I will call today about the IC and make an appt.

--Sarah