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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539 |
I just read your post. I'm in a similar situation. My H also refuses to quit his job. He swears that he's ended it with OW and that he can continue to work with her in a strictly professional manner. He loves his job. He's been there 7 years and is highly respected and a leader. He said that I was making selfish demand on him by asking him to quit. The working togther is just killing me. I can't stand it. I feel like it is blocking our recovery. We've already been to two counselors and neither one backed up the MB no contact rule. I'm so afraid that if I keep pushing the issue he will resent me for it. Let me know if you come up with a solution. I'll be praying for your situation as well. Call the Harley's for counseling. You will get the support for NC from them. It will be well worth the money. I am so sorry you are hurting. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 96
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 96 |
Hi Faithful,
I have heard from Daisy by email and I believe she is going to insist on C from the Harleys and for her WH to change jobs. I am thinking of her and waiting to hear from her again!
BS (me) 42/ FWH 46
Married 23 years
Empty Nesters
DD#1 21 & DD#2 19 (both at college)
DDay 12/15/02
FWH had a LTA
It was a long and bumpy road, but we have recovered. Our M is better and happier than before.
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 40
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 40 |
Hi, Faithful and Nay Nay,
Good news! H finally told his boss about A with co-worker. He also said that he would quit if OW did not leave. Not sure how it all went down at work but his boss just called me at home to inform me that the OW gave her letter of resignation and will not be returning.
I also called Harleys office today to set up MC. Thanks for all the support. Things seem to be getting better finally.
Daisy
me- BS 35
FWH- 33
0 children
1st D-Day 4/23/06
A never really ended...
H still worked with OW
2nd D-Day 8/26/06
OW left job
3rd D- Day, 9/23/06
Started MC with SH 9/20/06
Completed about 10 sessions
Working on Recovery!
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539 |
Good going Daisy! Now come on over to GQ2 board where you can get more help.
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 35
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 35 |
Hi Daisy,
I was in the same situation, maybe worse. He was her boss. They could not force either to leave so they worked together for a year after the A. He moved his office to another building and added a manager for her to report directly to. None the less it was hard.
My MC also would not insist on my H leaving his job. He'd been there for 10 years and was a VP and loved his job as well. Our pastor would not insist that my H leave. I had a friend who made her H leave and later regreted it. I stuck it out for the year, praying the whole time.
Almost exactly a year later, my H got the job of his dreams out of the blue. He quit and works closer to home, fewer hours and is even happier. God answered my prayers...on HIS time and in a better way. I realized after my H left, how glad I was that HE left. I don't have to be around all those people who know about the A. I don't have to feel embarassed everytime I see his co-workers having them know my H picked her over me. It is totally OVER and I don't have any of the ugly reminders that his job brought with it.
She is still there and doing well on her job.
Having them work together was VERY hard and once my H left I did feel better. I'm sure you will as well. Just don't expect it to be the cure all. It is only one piece.
I hope it all works out for you. I do believe in letting God be the master of all, so I did not insist on anything. I prayed and believed and God heard me...AMEN.
I am happy for you!
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 2
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 2 |
If your spouse won't do the right thing and quit, it seems to me that exposure is the next step. You have to notify the boss.
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