A friend from another site suggested I come here and post this topic. Any help would be greatly appreciated...I simpley dont know what to do <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

"Damn....I really opened up a can of worms. As some of you may know, Ive had an on again off again "thing" going on with ex, Chris, this summer. A few weekends spent down there with him, and he came up ehre and spent one weekend with me and helped me move into my house. I kept telling him tho that I didnt really know what I want, and to just go with it and enjoy what time we got to spend w/each other. I didnt tell him not to date anyone else, and nor did i put that restriction on myself. And as expected, and I really cant blame him for this, he met a woman and dated her for the last month. Well, it was driving me NUTS! I have been SO depressed over it, its pathetic! Well, they split up this weekend, and last night when he brought the kids back....I kissed him. I started crying, he started crying, started begging me to come back to him...like he has all summer. I told him, as i have all summer, that I am not moving. He can move up here if he wants me so bad. Thing is, I know he really cant. His const bussiness apparently is going REALLY well for him, I cant ask him to give that up. We sat in his truck while the kids watched a move in my Jeep, and we talked. Same ******, rehashed over and over. We care for eachother, but neither of us wants to move....neither of us WILL move. Him trying to convince me to move back, me trying to convince him to move up here...etc etc etc. It was aweful, and I broke down and finally told him something I havent allowed myself to say to him in MONTHS....I told him I still love him. I said it not once, not twice but so many times I lost track. And that is my can of worms. I have let myself fall for him, again. And now he knows. And I really believe he lvoes me too, and I do think he is truely sorry for things he did and said, didnt say and didnt do. What now? WTF do I do NOW?! I refuse to move down there. I hated it there, and if things didnt work out, there i would be stuck all over again. I lvoe my job, my home, my friends and family here. But yet he has his business, his home he is about to buy, and if he moved up here theres no way in ****** he could make enough money to pay the bills he has. Payscale up here is TERRIBLE for what he does, unless he wdnt back to trucking, which he wont do. And who can blame him when hes const bussiness is going so well? Oh, and i asked him to come home with me last night. And he did. He left a short while ago. Crap crap crap"

Just a little background....Ex and I were married appx 5.5 yrs, have two kids. He cheated more than once in those 5.5 yrs, and even without the affairs, we had troubles. HE was controlling, to some extent emotionaly abusive...tho I think we fed off eachother alot that way. We were seperated last june, and divorced nov 05. We currently live 250 miles apart, in the same state, and I see him every weekend when we swap out the kids.I do think he ws the love of my life, and he feels the same way. God, I just dont know what to do. He did so much to hurt me, mean things, both in the marraige and the divorce. But he seems liek he has changed, and is truely sorry for those things. Has told me many times that he is sorry, learned his lesson the ahrd way, etc. Im so torn

If no one will move, I'd say make a clean break and get on with your life. Too many problems, too much distance - you are divorced. Why drag this out? It's just not workable. I know if I wanted it to work, I'd move.

Just because he is sorry does not mean he's now marriage material or that he's a good match for you. And vice-versa. My 2 cents - Dru

tinantn - If I told you what to do, would you do it, no matter what?

With God, all things are possible.

With humans, it's pretty iffy.

Based on your marital history and his repeated affairs, I honestly believe that both of you in a living, growing, relationship with God is the only hope the two of you have. Sure, you can have a dysfunctional every-weekend fling if you want, but you're really worth more than that.

If both of you are not willing to commit 100% to God and to each other, the outlook is bleak.

Sorry if that's not what you wanted to hear. I truly hope you allow God to give you the miracle He is holding for both of you, if you're both willing to accept it.