I post on other sections on this site, and am trying like crazy to understand this, so I came here and saw similar sitches described. Several posters are engaged/married to someone they've only known a short time. Can someone explain to me why people get engaged/married after dating only a few weeks or months?

What prpompted this: A couple that I know broke up recently (within the last couple of months) after a relationship that lasted several years. Now the guy has announced, on another internet BB of all places, that he has met the woman he will marry.

His ex-GF (who I consider a friend) saw his post and seems to be okay with all this (Personally I'd be a basket case if I were in her position!), but I have lost all respect for this guy after this internet announcement. And frankly, I cannot understand for the life of my why ANYONE would get engaged/marry after such a short time. I mean, you're not even past the initial ga-ga lovey-dovey stage!

So what is going through people's heads to prompt them to make such life-altering decisions after knowing someone for such a short time?

I didn't pursue an "instant life," but you know, it's romantic, and it has a really really really slim chance of working.

Maybe it's like rolling the dice. What the heck, I'll bet the farm. You just BET! Throw them dice! Yup, it's most likely you'll lose the farm, but it's just such a thrill as your eyes open wide to the possibility of getting everything instantly...oh oh oh...?

We want instant everything nowadays. Microwave ovens are really really really bad for you. But hey, they're fast.

Best,
D--

Im sure quick engagements and marriages have a higher failure rate, but even LOOOOOONG engagements fail.

Example: I was engaged for 6yrs prior to marriage and then divorce. I see people on this board all the time that were engaged for years, married for years, and it still ended.

I just feel....if its meant to be, its meant to be. No matter the length of engagement.

I do recommend dating a minimum of a year prior to engagement though. MINIMUM!

I think the reasons for quick engagements is that there are a LOT of different reasons people get married, and only one of them is love. We get married because society expects us to, because we want to have children, because we want the stability of a family, because we’ll gain financial benefits, because we’ll gain domestic benefits, because our parents want grandchildren, because, because, because. A lot of those are reasons we fall in love, too.

Two hundred years ago, a short time in terms of society, knowing someone only a short amount of time before getting engaged did not increase the risk of a bad marriage greatly. That’s because 200 years ago ladies and gentlemen only saw each other in rarified settings unless they were related. Dinners, balls and the drawing room were it. And men and women were usually surrounded by others. Of course, 200 years ago, ladies only spoke with gentlemen they had be properly introduced to, and introductions were serious responsibilities, providing almost an endorsement of the person’s social position and moral disposition. At least to the best of that person’s knowledge.

Often times a couple will claim to be 'engaged' as a way to validate living together. Younger aged couples are especially into this. There is no wedding date planned...not even a ballpark date.

I want to ask them, "Engaged in what?"

The marital concept of 'engagement' is often misused and abused IMO.

I think the engaged and marriage questions are separate. Getting engaged doesn't neccessarily mean a life-changing event. Marriage does.

Some view being engaged as "seriously dating only each other". To become "unengaged" is relatively painless.

Marriage after a few weeks is another topic. I agree with StartinOver however: I know many long engagements that failed after marriage. I know many whirlwind romances that are alive after decades... It is all in the level of commitment each brings to the marriage.

I do think dating (or being engaged) through all of the seasons at least once is smart!

Specifically to your described situation... Have you considered the possibility that this person broke up with your friend because he was already involved with his new partner before the breakup?

Just thoughts...