This question is for those who have children and have divorced due to an A, either EA or PA.

How did this truly affect your child/children when the plan of D was revealed to them?

My DD-12 has stated many times that she does not want to come from a broken home and wants WW and I to work things out. The issue I have with this is that I see no changes in the M post A. 24-Sep-06 will be 1-year anniversary. WW acts as nothing has happened, shows no remorse and carries on with no regret IMO.

There is no communication between us, no SF, no anything, just talk about work and everyday things. We are just roommates as far as I am concerned. When I try to talk to her she is not receptive and I am tired of it. It is at the point that I would just assume say nothing than ACT like I am happy, when I am clearly not.

WW will not go to MC and I believe she just wants this to go away and for me to forget it happened. It is just not that simple especially since the PA was with a family member (see sig line) but she just doesn’t understand how this has affected the entire family, at least I don’t think she does anyway.

I am venting here so back to the question, is it not better for a child’s development to be in a loving family where they see parents who show love towards each other, don’t fight…etc?

I simply do not see any hope on the horizon at this time and am struggling with this constantly.

I appreciate any input that anyone can provide.

K

K,

I don't mean to harp on you here but it sounds like you are an unhealthy contributor to an unhealthy situation with an unheathly wife, as a result I'm sure this has an affect on your daughter. So as I see it, in this whole scenario, you only have a small portion of control and that is squarely on you. Now I ain't read your background so I don't know what you are doing or have done but I do know that whatever it is, it ain't working and it's time for a new plan.

You mentioned that she wouldn't go to MC, how about you, would you be willing to go to IC for a while to help sort through some of these issues within yourself? In IC you could also get helpful hints of behaviours that can start to change the dynamics of your marriage. Once you impact the dynamics enough your wife is then forced to change to adapt to the new dynamics.