I was sound asleep when WH turned on the bedroom ceiling light as if there was fire, woke me up and then blurted "where's the tape recorder?"

Shocked, disoriented, I sit up, and blasted "What the f*** are you doing?! It's 3:45! Here's what happened next:

WH: "I know you have a tape recorder." He opens each drawers of the dresser going through my clothes searching.

Me: What makes you think I have a f**** tape recorder?"

WH: I know you. I know you have a tape recorder.

Me: Then go f***ing help yourself! He looks under the bed, between the mattress, my closet, under the pillow, etc.

WH: (Almost as if talking to himself outloud). "You couldn't have hidden it this fast. So, where is it?"

Me: "Why don't you look up on the ceiling fan?!" I plopped myself back in bed.

WH: Unable to find whatever he thinks, turns the light off and comes back to bed, lie on his back. "I'll find it."

Me: Where the f*** are you coming from?

WH: I'm going back to bed. This is not open for discussion.

Me: (Irritated and PO, I turn the light on my side, sit up and face him) Don't give me that! You f**** wake me up at 3:45 by turning on the light and you go through my stuff?!"

WH: (A smirk on his face) This is not open for discussion.

Me: The f*** that it isn't! You know what? What irks you the most is that you got caught lying and cheating again! You even swore your mother's life just to to protect your A and lies! I ought to f***** call your sister and tell her how you used your mother's life to swear that you weren't cheating. And now you mother is gone! What kind of a person have you become?!"

WH: Hmmmmm....

Moments later, WH gets up again and search my flight bag. Empty.

WH: I want to see your credit card statements for the last 3 months.

Me: (taken back) What for?

WH: I want to see them! And I want to see your financial records for the last 3 months!

Me: Fine! I will show you but I want to f**** see your bank account records for the last 2 1/2 years you've been living your double life!

WH: You've seen it.

Me: If I have, do you think I'd be asking for it? While were at it, I want see your email accounts including your business email account.

WH: I can show you my personal email, but not my business.

Me: Then we don't have a deal.

WH: I don't want you to have access to my business account.

Me: Really? What makes you think I already don't have all of your business contact email address?

WH: Hmmmm...I'm sure you already do.

Me: This is incredible! (I went back to bed)

Me: (I turned to turn the light off and lay on my side fuming and trying to put a lid on my temper which is soo hard) "What makes you think I don't have a PI following you?"

WH: I wouldn't be surprised.

Me: Good. Because the next time I catch you cheating and lying again, I will f****** F*** you and your mistress. If you think my exposing your A by emailing a few people the two of you know, I will f**** re-expose you to EVERYONE including your boss! I'm close to being driven insane by your ongoing lies and cheating that I won't f****** care if you lose your job! Mark my word, if I ever catch you cheating on me again, I will f***** take the bricks from the backyard and break your windows on your precious brand new car and I will f****** spray paint your car with "I cheated on my wife!" You will be the f***** laughing stock at every f***** car dealerships you go to! And I won't f***** care if we become the 6:00 news!"

WH: (Silence...He knows I don't usually throw threats out unless I mean it. And he knows I carry out my threats)....Hmmmmm...

Me: So go ahead! Try me!

WH: Hmmmmm......(silent)

I got up, grabbed my robe, grinded some coffee beans, made a pot of coffee, and here I am....on MB!

He gotcha! He did the one thing he knew he could do to get you emotionally engaged and fighting. Your calm, methodical march to separation left him out of control and he wanted it back.

Don't apologize. But get back to your 180s! He doesn't like it and anything your WS doesn't like could be a good thing!

Personally, I'd have responded "The tape recorder's at the attorney, the video is with Channel 13 and let's see - the transcripts are locked in a safety deposit box! Anything else you want to know?"

This is great! I'm usually sharper in the morning than at night. I'll file that in my head. Maybe I'll just go ahead buy a tape recorder just for the ****** of it! Thanks! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

Mmm... a quick word of caution because I'm really cynical, cautious, and a little paranoid to boot.

What are the chances that he had a tape recorder running? I mean, waking someone up in the dead of night and essentially goading her into anger so you can catch a tantrum on tape...... it just seems so designed

My advice, don't do any of the things you threatened to do if you catch him cheating again. Think of something better.

I think my response would have been: "Are you still here? Why aren't you gone yet?" When IS he leaving?

Mys

************NON MB ADVICE ALERT*************

I have to say that, if it were me, I'd be hard pressed not to answer every one of HIS questions with a smirk and "Hmmmmmm"

Bah! Just reading about it makes me itch.

You're a better woman than I am.

Mys

I had similar thoughts myschae.

It's good to know I'm not paranoid alone. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Or, were you talking about the Hmmm thing.

Maybe I AM paranoid alone... maybe .. it's.. a conspiracy.
SHHHHH!

<back to your regularly scheduled thread now>

Mys

Sipping my coffee and a little calmer, I'm sure I'll think of other ways. This "confrontaion" style isn't new to us. I realize this is not MB style. But being awaken at 3:45 in the morning isn't exactly a pleasant surprise, either.

I think it's gotten to the point that I really don't care as much anymore whether or not our M ends in D.

WH's replies "hmmmmmm....." a lot. It's his "language" of "Ok, I hear you. I understand what you're saying. I have to process what you said. Let me think about it".

I'm sure he wanted to see if I'd squirm with guilt.

Wow, I'm sorry you had a bad night. I hope that today is better for you!

LOL...I loved the spray painting the his car and the car dealership thing! LOL That's funny...

I left WH on the side of the road Tues. night! Not in my nature...He was about three blocks from the house...then I went to Olive Garden for supper...WH joined me about 40 minutes later in with a better mood! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Best wished to you fro a good night and a wonderful night <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
One where you get to sleep all night! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Just get him out of the house, go into Plan B, and decide what you want to do from there.

At least in my sitch, that kind of flipped-out insanity did not emerge until the A was in its death throes and he was squirming like a squid on a jig trying to hold all his lives together.

Once you're in Plan B, you have plenty of time to decide whether you want to try some more or not. But with him yanking your chain every day, of course you're going to want a D.

My exact thought!

Pep

OK that's 3..lol.

There are now at least three people who smell something rotten in this tactic.

Paranoid...moi?

Why are you threatening him? Does this characterize your past interactions?

Threats do not work.

You need to be very careful about this...as this can be used against you.

A woman can get a TRO or PPO against her H for a LOT less than this...

I agree with LowOrbit.

Threats seldom result in ending an affair.

Be that sane one...keep centered, calm, and collected.

I don't know 'bout all of you

but 3:45 AM is NOT my hour of sanity!

This is actually why I am suspicious.

It seems very...strategic...to pounce on someone in the dead of the night.

It seems LIKELY to produce a "fit" style tantrum from even a usually tempermentally balanced person. A recorded episode [especially including threats] like that could go a long way.

He seemed less concerned about being taped than PLEASED by the reaction he was getting. Maybe even a little smug.

I don't like it.

Edited for clarity.

I tend to be a light sleeper...

The way he was acting was a bit less than sane...at 3:45 AM.

Maybe sarcasticly....or even sweetly.....doing the Hmmmmmmm or the other vague response would have still been better than the threats....did I miss that he said he was going to end his A again?

The A is ongoing isn't it....so why just not just re-expose across the board and not just threaten?

heck yes!

I know this is what I did the 2nd night after D-Day ... I got the whole story out of him ... well ... maybe not the whole story, but he was not such a clever liar at 3 AM!