My MC has asked me to stop being "Columbo", but I just can't help it. I would like to purchase a voice activated recorder to place in my WH truck. Which brand should I buy and where should I buy it?

My first question would be..why has MC asked that you stop beiong Columbo"..and what has Columbo done thus far?

There are all kinds of brands out there...I got one at Walmart for about $30. Make sure you get a voice activated DIGITAL recorder. They are silent. When you get it experiment your self in your car...hid it in a similar location, try it with the radio on, whispering, normal voice talking on cell. You probably won't be able to hide it too early many have an auto off to save battery when not in use.

I used one and caught OW in the car w/my FWH. Good luck. Do you believe he is in contact w/ OW?

Tell your MC that you need to be Columbo until your H pulls his head out of his [censored]. If the MC cannot accept that... send him packing. You have a right to information and if your H will not be honest... get it however you need to.

Now, that being said.... hopefully your MC realizes that your H does not have a right to keep this stuff secret. Perhaps ask why he feels you should not be "Columbo." If it is for your own menatl well being... listen to him... if it is to allow for your H to come to you when he is good and ready with stuff that impacts your life... again.. time for the MC to go.

My C thinks I am becoming consumed and doesn't believe it to be healthy.

1. Columbo started with spyware for home computers in February (WH sent email to OW on June 1 saying he couldn't handle the guilt any more DD). Feel free to read it on Just Found Out...
2. Columbo has ordered 2 1/2 years of cell phone statements. Marked "OW" calls.
3.Columbo has gone thru 2 years of visa statements (WH used only cash) no evidence.
4.Columbo has put all dates and times to establish a pattern.
5. Columbo has the home phone wired to record all incoming and outgoing calls since finding out (no calls to or from home have been made).
6. Columbo searched and found 1/2 of a card with just a picture of a painted beach in his truck last night (it was attached to his sun viser with a paper clip)and it didn't come from me!
7. Columbo now would like to place a voice activated device in WH car just incase....

Why? Because Even though I believe the A is over (the last 6 cell phone statements show very little activity). I have never been so humiliated in all my life!! Why? Because the back seat of his Chevy was the place they were F*****g most of the time.

You can read my story in Just Found Out, Her house is directly across the street from mine..........I had the illusion that OW was my best friend and never dreamed this could happen.

My husband (married 15 yrs) whom I love with all my heart became the ultimate liar, master of deceit, for the last 3 years! With the h**l we have been going thru these last few weeks I really can't imagine the A is still going, but for my piece of mind I need to make sure that I am not deceived twice.

I need to make sure that this is over.

okay... let's start at the beginning here.
first of all...your actions do not seem unreasonable to me. Make sure your motivations and mindset are okay and let your instincts rule how you move forward with that.

next and much more importantly... if she lives across the street... you need to move. No contact will never be possible living across the street from this woman. Sacrifices are going to need to be made... read Harley's take on this stuff. This needs to happen immediately.

Next, time for that truck to hit the road. You can never be expected to drive in it considering what went on in the backseat. Time for the truck to get gone. And personally, I would not "reward" your H with a new truck either.

If you have not exposed this A .. you need to do so now. You have been living in a nightmare and it is time for you to wake up and take care of the things that you can do right away... moving and assuring NC are tops on that list.

Good luck... and please consider calling Dr. harley.

A lot of MC seem to dwell on trying to focus only on the future. In retrospect, I think that all of us BS's can go overboard on how much this consumes our lives...but on the other hand as I told my IC about two months after D-Day even though I knew the A had long been over, this whole deal blind sided me even though I suspected something had happened immediately after the first event. Since I no longer trusted my own judgement and did not seem to know sic from sic em, I personnally felt like that my continued investigation particularly of the OM and everything about him was just part of the start of my own personal recovery. I uncovered a bit of juicy information related to the persons career and when I found out that he applied for a new job in a new state, I felt compelled to provide that information to his prospective new employer, anonomously of course and in the publics best interest. He didn't get the job, I felt like I got my revenge without taking off some of his bodily parts, and after that my dwelling days were over for the most part. Did I go overboard??? Probably, but I really felt like I needed to get to that point before I could begin my personal and marital recovery in earnest.

Just my two cents.

NT

okay, I just read your story... wow.. you have been through a lot. sounds like NC is in the works. Your kids should not be socializing with their kids ever again. Are they still moving by months end? I would contact the police and inform them of the nature of the call from the OW's mother... I am a retired cop and there should definitely be a report filed about this.

Good luck.

Thanks mkeverydaycnt for taking the time to read my story. My life has been a living h**L these last few months.

Last Saturday morning the OWH walked to our driveway and threw a bunch of stuff down (clothing?). The OW came over and picked everything up and walked away. I haven't seen or talked with the OWH since last friday. He hasn't been to the house since Saturday. I am tempted to call him, but yet afraid that maybe he is crazy. I really would like to talk with him again, but maybe I should just let that go.

The OW will supposeably be moved out this weekend. Our children haven't played together since early last week. Infact I haven't seen them since Friday.

I've thought of calling the police but have been afraid to, for some reason my H's against it.

The OW does not work and didn't go to college, they have no assets, and the OWH is not working now. She is moving in with another friend (might just have to drop her a note of warning). I believe OW to be extremely distraught and I am desperately afraid of her making contact with my WH and begging for help.

make the call to the police or if you don't want them coming to your house... go to the station. This needs to be taken care of.

Sounds like your WH got involved with a real winner huh??? Nothing like aiming low!

Don't have any more conversations with the OWH. Nothing good is going to come out of that.

But beware that use of such devices may lead to stalking charges against you.

I live in the Boston area. A few days ago, the news channel reported a man was sentenced to 9 years in prison for implanting a voice activated recorder in his estranged wife's car.

He had done other Columbo-type stuff, but the voice activator installation sent the judge over the edge and he deemed it stalking.

There's more to this than what you are reporting. This sentence would not be handed out for that act. I can tell you that would never happen for simply putting a recording device in a car. No way, no how. The other stuff he did obviously was the reason for the sentence... please don't worry about putting a recording device in a car based on this information.

Sorry to jump in here, I think the key to the last post was the "estranged" part. I am currently using a voice activated recorder in my WH's car. Even if we divorce, I am certain he would not prosecute. He is in the fog, not an evil man... and his son would suffer needlessly. Just my 2 cents. I say you gotta do what you gotta do.

always pay cash for the device and NEVER own up to putting it in the car. That will settle the whole issue.

randomm,

""1. Columbo started with spyware for home computers in February (WH sent email to OW on June 1 saying he couldn't handle the guilt any more DD). Feel free to read it on Just Found Out...
2. Columbo has ordered 2 1/2 years of cell phone statements. Marked "OW" calls.
3.Columbo has gone thru 2 years of visa statements (WH used only cash) no evidence.
4.Columbo has put all dates and times to establish a pattern.""

Perfectly normal behavior.

On her cell phone statements I used different colored markers for the OM's cell #, work # and home #. Quite pretty actually. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

krk

If I remember correctly, it had something to do with the fact that the car was her's and not his; and that it involved recording someone without her knowledge.

When he would call her, he would know things that he should not know--like who she was with and what she said to so-and-so. This really played with her mental well-being and she had a good psychiatrist to back her up on this.

Again this is Massachusetts--a very liberal state. Probably never would have happened in Florida or Texas.

Krusht, I used different colors too.

Went to walmart and purchased a voice activated recorder.

Now I have to take my son to football practice. So I will be able to hopefully figure it out there by myself. WH will be left home alone from 4:15pm to 6:40 pm today. That always scares me, but I have the home phones wired. I just pray he is being truthful and honest with me!

Voice activator turns off automatically after a certain time frame. I wasted $40.00.

OWH called me today. He seems quite sane and I believe he is not crazy, just deeply hurt and depressed. I found out today that my WH is still lying to me about certain events.

He has even admitted it, but since he's at work he says he can't talk about it.

I feel like telling him to leave the house when he gets home tonight. I am just sick with all the lying. I can't stand it, they have been intimate for over 2 1/2 years and he has slept with both of us on the same days. Now I'm told not only were they together during the day they were also together on a few nights.

OWH believes they have also had sex in my home. Who do I believe?

Do I tell him to leave or do I let him stay?

I would let him stay for now. Unless you have everything ready for plan b.

who else are you planning to expose to?

Who else should I expose this too?

His best friend? His Father? Is that the right thing to do? I just don't know anymore.