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Dear MM,
I'd like to share one of my favorite stories with you.
One Night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the Lord. Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand; one belonged to him and the other to the Lord.
When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life.
This really bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it. "Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you you'd walk with me all the way, but I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me." The Lord replied, "My precious, precious child, I love you and would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."
You will be carried. Thankyou, Brownhair. If he's not completely beaten down when he gets home tonight, I'll take that walk w/ him.
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nope that is not wrong- that is exactly right.
You need to send the no contact letter even though you have told him.
Have you purchased Surviving an Affair by Dr Harley?
I would suggest the two of you reading it together. It explains the no contact letter.
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amazing enough. the first time my WW told me of the PA i was shocked then hurt then an intense need to protect her came to my mind. (little did i know that she went shortly after into the fog.)
the point is tell him. it may hurt ......yes. but the openess will cause radical honesty to build a lasting powerful marriage.
pray for u
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Even if he is tired- tell him tonight.
tomorrow won't be any easier- just will give you more time to talk yourself out.
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nope that is not wrong- that is exactly right.
You need to send the no contact letter even though you have told him.
Have you purchased Surviving an Affair by Dr Harley?
I would suggest the two of you reading it together. It explains the no contact letter. No, I haven't gottan the book yet. But, I will. And thanks again. This place is amazing!
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I guess I could go read your old posts, but I will ask- was your A emotional or physical?
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amazing enough. the first time my WW told me of the PA i was shocked then hurt then an intense need to protect her came to my mind. (little did i know that she went shortly after into the fog.)
the point is tell him. it may hurt ......yes. but the openess will cause radical honesty to build a lasting powerful marriage.
pray for u Thankyou for your prayers. I don't deserve them, but I certainly need them. I'm sorry for what you went through.
Last edited by Marshmallow; 08/25/06 04:41 PM.
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I guess I could go read your old posts, but I will ask- was your A emotional or physical? EA.
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ok.
so what needs was he meeting?
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ok.
so what needs was he meeting? Mostly communication. But, I'd say affection too. Although, it wasn't physical affection.
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ok
so, what needs were you not meeting for your husband?
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thank your luck stars..........i dont condone it but WW had a PA and that will forever scar our relationship.
Please overcome your fear and make like NIKE.....just do it.
One day your husband will LOVE you for it. Dont justify it. Just do it.
Bet you it will go well.
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ok
so, what needs were you not meeting for your husband? LOL Not enough sex. I had no idea he wanted more. Till he took that EN's test. I CAN do that. No problem. And I believe he can meet my needs too. He has actually been making changes already. I guess that's why I hesitate to tell him....I think we are making progress already in the right direction.
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agreed- do not justify- state what you did- not why you did it.
then, state what you plan to do from here on out- honesty, openness, etc
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thank your luck stars..........i dont condone it but WW had a PA and that will forever scar our relationship.
Please overcome your fear and make like NIKE.....just do it.
One day your husband will LOVE you for it. Dont justify it. Just do it.
Bet you it will go well. I pray that you are right! Thankyou for the encouragement. And I do thank God for restraining me from turning it into a PA.
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good, glad you are making progress in the right direction- that is why you MUST tell him- imgaine if you don't and a few weeks or months later he finds out- he will think all of the improvements will be a lie- believe me - I know from experience
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agreed- do not justify- state what you did- not why you did it.
then, state what you plan to do from here on out- honesty, openness, etc I can't justify it. No way. I think I'll just tell him I need his help. I'll tell him that I got too close emotionally to someone, and it scared me so much that I have cut off contact completely w/ this OM. I'll tell him I'm sorry. And I'll ask him to help me cling to him more. How does that sound?
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good, glad you are making progress in the right direction- that is why you MUST tell him- imgaine if you don't and a few weeks or months later he finds out- he will think all of the improvements will be a lie- believe me - I know from experience Really? He's already noticed the changes and my need to make our marriage better. Do you think when I tell him this he'll think it is all a lie?
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I'm proud of you for doing this MM, hearing of your courage to act (and that's exactly what this is) is God's grace working on you right now.
No, getting involved with OM did not take courage, but taking the steps you are taking right now does. An EA is a stepping stone for a full-blown affair, confronting that fact and severing all ties to the OM is where I commend you MM. You will be tempted to put this off or push it aside, OM may even call you, don't give in. It's time you reveal and heal. I'm in support of you and your marriage, MM.
"Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known." 1 Corinthians 13:12
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well, mm, I thought it was for me- he may not think so- and since you are telling him as soon as you are ending it- but things had never been bad for us- but they had gotten really really good a couple of months before d-day.
I remember asking him why?
I think it was out of guilt for him and because I didn't know about the affair, when I found out, it did feel like a lie.
I think you telling him will go so much better than him finding out on his own.
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