If you've followed my posts, I have had a hard time with accepting my circumstances since my WH's talk of divorce. I was holding onto to him too tightly while getting my heart stomped on. Since d-day, my life has spun out of control and all I wanted to do was to fix my M.

My WH served me at work 3 days ago and I think today was the first time I've ever felt some calm in my life. I finally come to point of acceptance and it is a huge relief. I am starting to feel like myself again.

I met with my IC (my new one is great) this morning and it was after talking to her that I found the courage to take off my wedding rings. I have been looking at my ring finger all day, it looks so bare. The tan lines from the beautiful rings remind me of the fairy tale marriage I once had. The Prince Charming I married is gone and finally after 4 months, I am okay with that.

I no longer wonder what my WH is doing. I no longer worry about his future. I no longer wonder where he is or who he is with. I don't care anymore. He's made his decision to be an adulterer. He's void of remorse. His heart has hardened.

All I know is that I am going to be fine. It's liberating. I feel freed of the awful pain that has given my stomach pain for months. I know that one day I will find love again and be married to a committed and loyal husband who will love me unconditionally.

I know that God has a better plan for me. I know God will take care of me. God has given me hope and a future.

Thank you for letting me share my thoughts. Blessings to you all.

Good for you!

Remember, recovery is a marathon and not a sprint.

Best wishes.

HL

Ready2wait....you have done the right step. TAking off the bands is a closure to something that is bad. You are counseling which is great....and in time you will heal. The past will never be completely removed....but you will beable to move ahead. I too, was drowning in wanting the marriage really bad. I too, was suffocating myself in the drama of keeping the marriage. I finally let go, and the divorce was final 4 years ago. It has taken awhile for me to find myself and move ahead. But I am enjoying my time now. My ex is far away, in a remote part of the country. He states that is where God wants him, good for him. I am here, where the family was a unit at one time and I am great with being here. I too, have gone back to school...and continuing my education and am taking more classes this fall. I am working on a degree which I was not allowed to do during the marriage. I have dated 4 gentlemen since the divorce and the last one I have been dating since October. He is a very nice gentleman, artistic and warm and very friendly. Such a sense of humor he has....which makes me smile and warms my heart. That is something that the ex didn't have, was such a great sense of humor. The ex was a manipulator and still is, and that is one thing that I can recognize as a RED FLAG.

Just to help you realize, as you start dating, you will beable to recognize RED flags, and know when to bow out. Continue your counseling, for this is so important in your growing process. Enjoy going out to dinner once in awhile with a male friend after the divorce is final. This just makes your heart feel so wonderful. And the first and most important thing is to be YOURSELF...! Keep up the good work, and the counseling and your life will come about. I was told many times that God will find me a man that I will enjoy so much. The one that I have now, is wonderful....not sure where it will go....for I have stated to him that I need time and patience. He has been divorced for 12 years and was engaged to a woman and called it off when he realized she had some issues that were very damaging to a relationship of marriage. Good luck....Blessings.

I'm also 29 and in a similar position to you. In my case my wife has left me for a friend of mine.
It's all very disgusting.

I've maintained hope for a few months now but i'm starting to realize that it's time to let it go for good.

I chuckle to myself when i see a story or joke about infidelity on television and wonder if they are watching.

Remember that you get to look at yourself in the mirror every day and can be proud of your effort and behaviour.

At what point did you find acceptance?

My WH has had 3 affairs of varying levels thru our 10 yr. relationship. He's not one to 'make it work'
But I am ???

Crazy isn't it??

Filed for D 2 mos. ago out of security desparation.
I have to admit that it has not started getting any easier.

You will find acceptance when you know you have done the right thing and do not want to continue in the relationship as it was. When only 1 wants to make the marriage work, there is failure in the marriage ever making it again. That is what happened in my situation. I wanted the marriage to work and he was DONE!!!! That is why the Harleys told me there was very little hope of the marriage ever really making it.

I finally accepted the divorce when the Harleys instructed me that the marriage had a very low percent of ever making it. They pointed out many things to me that my H was not willing to do. He was/is a controller and hates to have people tell him what to do. I realized at this point...that I was willing to being done with this marriage. I saw myself as a doormat...which was pointed out to me. I realized that he was not doing anything to make the marriage work. I finally accepted that he needs to go and I needed to get on with my life. It was not easy and I had difficult times. But in time you will heal and beable to move on. The past will never totally leave you mind...there will always be something of your past marriage in your head. But you have to put that on the shelf...and take it down once in awhile and then put it back on the shelf.

You will be in denial as I was, denial is part of the steps to recovery. Just as death. This all is scary and it was stated to me during my exs' affair and upcoming divorce. The stages are real, just as the stages of accepting death are real. All in all, you will heal and will become a better person and find yourself.

I will pray for you and your acceptance...and pray to God for comfort and ease. I prayed a lot. With all my Blessings.