well if any of you had read my previous post here is an update. and i don't think it's very good.
my wife came here today and we had a talk. mostly it was me doing the talking but she did have some things to say. at this point i think she is not hearing anything i was saying. i basically told her that i realize where things had gone wrong and i understand that some things i was doing was hurting her. i took responsibilty for those things and told her they wouldn't happen anymore.
bottom line is she says she loves me but is not "in" love with me anymore and she can't see it coming back. i told her that all we need is a little time to spend together to give it another shot. i said that if we don't see each other and don't spend any time with each other then it's not going to work. that we need to do things together to have the opportunity to develop that love again. but that if we don't see each other then definitely nothing will get better.

i said that right now is already the bottom of the barrel. it doesn't get any lower than we are right now. she is hurting and so am i but for different reasons. i said that 4 years together and 2 of marriage is at least worth a shot at seeing if we can make it happen. that we don't want to look back on this and think that it was our moment that we could have saved our marriage and didn't.

to be honest i didn't really see it getting through at all. when she was leaving to go back to her friends place she said she wanted to think about it all but..........she was going to do what is right for her for once. that doesn't sound to me like she wants to give it a go. i guess now all i can do is wait and see what she comes back and says. i'm not very optimistic though and i'm pretty sure right now we are going to become another statistic.

i really really hope i am wrong.

I feel terrible for you. I'm afraid I'll end up doing this with my husband. At least you're trying to talk to your wife and listen to her. My husband is great, but he won't listen if I say I want to talk about problems I have with him. He takes it defensively and won't listen, defending himself instead of hearing how hurt I am or taking responsibility for his actions. For what it's worth, I just wish my husband was trying half as hard as you sound.

ya i even said that to her as well. that she has somebody right here right now that is willing to look at what was wrong and deal with it. but the look in her eyes says she is shut down to me. i've said everything i can say i've done everything i can do.

none of that seems to make any difference though. so now i am waiting to see what she says but i have things i need to do as well. i've got to go out of town tomorrow for a few days. maybe it will give her a little more time maybe not. probably not.

it's kind of odd but she has left her dog with me this whole time and now i am not sure what to do about that either. she said specifically NOT to call her or go over to where she is staying. so i guess the dog comes with me. either way it'll probably piss her off.

that's all secondary though. i really just want some time to spend with each other and just try to have some fun and do some normal things.