I thought I'd add some more questions here...I compiled these from different sources awhile back (sorry, I don't have any links..if you google the questions you can probably find the links).
MARRIAGE QUESTIONNAIRE
How stressful is your job?
How stressful is your spouse’s job?
Does your spouse complain about their job? How often?
You and your spouse work 40 hours a week, how do you picture your routine upon arriving home from work?
How would you like to spend your evenings after you get home from work?
How do you like to “relax”?
What you expect your spouse to do after you get home from work?
What do you expect the house to look like upon arriving home from work?
How much alone-time do you need with your spouse (per week)?
What is your definition of a good husband? What is your definition of a good wife?
What is your definition of a good marriage?
What do you want from your marriage?
It makes me happy when you…
What was it that originally attracted you to your spouse?
What was it about your spouse that led you to want to marry them?
Ways we are alike…
Ways we are different…
Should children be spanked?
What are your career plans for the future? Does either of you expect to go back to or continue school? Do you think you will need to move because of a job?
It is important to place financial security ahead of having good times with the family: agree, disagree, or undecided?
A wife should have her own bank account separate from her husband's: agree, disagree, or undecided?
The person who makes the money should have the final say about how it will be spent: agree, disagree, or undecided?
In-laws should be consulted in important decisions that affect your marriage: agree, disagree, or undecided?
Grandparents should be consulted about how to raise the children: agree, disagree, or undecided?
Who is responsible for keeping our house and yard cared for and organized? Are we different in our needs for
cleanliness and organization? Is one or both of us neat? Messy? A "pack rat?" An organizational wizard?
Am I comfortable giving and receiving love, sexually? In sex, does my partner feel my love for him or her?
Do we eat meals together? Which ones? Who is responsible for the food shopping? Who prepares the meals? Who cleans up afterward?
How will having a child change the way we live now? Will we want or be able to take time off from work, or work a reduced schedule? For how long? In the months or years following the birth of our child, will we need to rethink who is responsible for housekeeping?
Does one of us have an individual spiritual practice? Is the practice and the time devoted to it acceptable to the other? Does each partner understand and respect the other's choices?
How do you worship (what do you believe)?
Would you consider adoption?
What if you weren't able to conceive?
What makes you feel sexually close?
What frequency and quality of closeness, intimacy, and sex do you want?
What's romance? what do you have to do to get it?
Have you talked about videos, books, the internet, etc...?
What's the split up of work in the home? do you both feel you are "equal partners" in the home?
AGREE? DISAGREE? (below)
I do not like the idea that husbands and wives can specialize in different household responsibilities.
In my marriage it would not bother me if the wife earned more income than the husband.
It creates problems for spouses if they go for a few days without spending much time together as a couple.
It would be an acceptable arrangement for the husband to stay home to care for young children while the wife earns the paycheck.
It is important to me that my family has the finer things in life.
In marriage, having time alone is more important than togetherness.
Sexual intercourse in marriage is as much a duty as a source of personal pleasure.
Using artificial or chemical birth control methods (the pill, spermicide, condom, etc.) is acceptable in marriage.
If I had an unhappy marriage and neither counseling nor other actions helped, my spouse and I would be better off if we divorced.
The husband's and children's needs should come before a job or career for a wife.
Having money and lots of things has never been important to me.
Permanent birth control through surgical operation for either husband or wife is acceptable if my spouse and I decided to have no more children.
If I am married, I would not have a love affair with someone else.
The father should spend as much time as the mother caring for infants and toddlers.
A mother should feel free to pursue a career or job even when there are preschool age children in the home.
It is important for a husband and wife to have many of the same friends, and to like each other's friends.
I plan to earn an income that makes my family financially well off.
If a husband and wife disagree about something important, the wife should give in to her husband because he is the main leader of the family.
Considering all of your experiences while growing up in your family, how would you rate the general level of violence in your home?
How often was your father violent toward your mother?
How often was your mother violent toward your father?
How often were you violent in your family?
There were family members who experienced emotional problems such as: severe depression, anxiety attacks, eating disorders, or other mental/emotional problems.
There were financial strains such as loss of jobs, bankruptcy, large debts, or going on welfare.
There were physical strains such as a member(s) being physically handicapped, hospitalized for a serious physical illness or injury, or becoming premaritally pregnant.
There were one or more family members who struggled with addictions to alcohol or other drugs.
From what I experienced in my family, I think family relationships are safe, secure, rewarding, worth being in, and a source of comfort.
My father was happy in his marriage
My father showed physical affection to me by appropriate hugging and/or kissing.
There are matters from my family experience that I'm still having trouble dealing with or coming to terms with.
My parents currently encourage me to be independent and to make my own decisions.
From what I experienced in my family, I think family relationships are confusing, unfair, anxiety-provoking, inconsistent, and unpredictable.
My mother was happy in her marriage.
My mother showed physical affection to me by appropriate hugging and/or kissing.
There are matters from my family experience that negatively affect my ability to form close relationships.
My father participated in enjoyable activities with me.
My parents currently try to run my life.
I don't like it when my partner does things without me.
There are many things about me that my partner would like to change.
There are many things about my partner I would like to change.
I admire my partner.
How have you dealt with conflict in your family?
How will you know when you are ready to marry?
Would you want to spend the rest of your life with me if I never changed from the way I am now?
What issues do you believe should remain between you and your partner only?
What feelings are hard for you to talk about?
What have you learned from our relationship?
If I asked other people to list their biggest complaints about you, what would they say?
When you are in a bad mood how should I deal with it?
If you ever do something that bothers me, what is the best way for me to bring it to your attention without causing conflict?
If we eliminated physical attraction from our relationship, what would be left?
Are you sexually inhibited?
What will you do if the passion between us dies and you meet someone who rekindles that passion?
What is the best way for me to show that I love you?
If I put on weight, will it affect our sexual relationship? How?
What makes you feel sexy?
Do you know what the best way to arouse me is?
What is your favorite part of your body?
When we bgin to make love do you prefer to be undressed by me or already be completely naked?
Describe your dream date.
How do you like to be romanced?
What do I do that causes you to question my love for you?
What do I do that makes you know I love you?
What makes you feel good about being with me?
What turns you off sexually?
What do you want to change about my sexual performance?
What do I do that gives you the most sexual pleasure? …the least sexual pleasure?
What is your favorite sexual position?
After we get married, how often do you anticipate we will make love?
Is there anything sexually you would not do?
When would you prefer that I do not make sexual advances to you?
How do you feel about not having sex with anyone else but me for the rest of your life?
If you are ever tempted to cheat on me, how will you deal with the situation?
What do I do now, or what could I do in the future, that would make you mistrust me?
Do you trust me with money?
Are you jealous?
How would it make you feel if I danced with others?
What is and what is not cheating?
Is it permissible for us to open each other’s mail?
In what ways are we different?
If we are unable to have children would you adopt?
Is there anything about marriage that frightens you? If we were having trouble in our marriage who should we go to?
Why do you want children?
How important is it for you that your children share your hobbies?
How will you support my hobbies?
What do you look forward to?
What are your dreams for the future?
How many vacations do you want to take each year?
How do you feel about going on weekend getaways?
Have you ever found yourself denying something you don’t like about me, thinking it will go away or that you are overreacting?
How would it affect you is I criticized you or was sarcastic to you around other people?
Have you ever felt that I take you for granted? When?
How do I annoy you?
At what point in a marriage do you feel divorce is appropriate (or inevitable)?
Do you like pets?
Would you allow pets in the bedroom?
Is there anything we have not discussed that concerns you about our relationship?
What do you not like about me?
When do you need space away from me?
What excuses are there for you and I to raise our voices to each other?
What makes you not want to talk to me?
Do you pay credit cards off at the end of the month or do you carry a balance?
What makes you think we are right for each other?
What influence, if any, do you believe my family should have on our relationship?
What kind of marriage will we have?
How do you feel about having guns in our home?
How do you feel about socializing with gay people?
As a couple, what is our highest common goal?
Is your personal self-esteem related to having lots of money or material possessions?
What makes you feel important?
How do you maintain your self-esteem?
What causes you to lose your self-esteem?
Are you content by yourself?
What is your most negative characteristic? What are you doing about it?
Do you accept criticism easily?
Does it matter to you who earns most of the money?
When are you selfish?
What makes you feel lonely?
Have you ever felt, or now feel, pressure to marry?
Are you comfortable in a social setting where you meet people for the first time?
How often do you want to socialize with others after we are married?
Have you ever thought that you should marry me because if you don’t, no one else will come along and you will be lonely for the rest of your life?
What makes you think you are good enough to marry me?
Is it possible that we are getting married because somehow it will make us more secure in our relationship?
Are you comfortable with the way your body looks?
What do you dislike about yourself?
What is the most exciting aspect of your life?
Do you feel the need to flirt with others? Why?
What would you do if I had an affair?
Would it bother you if I had artificial breasts?
Do you want me to call out your name during sex?
How do you feel about me discussing our sex lives with others?
Are there any sexual games you want to experiment with?
How do you feel about making a home movie of our love-making?
How do you feel about taking showers together?
What is wrong with our sex life?
Is there anything you would like to change about your sexual prowess?
Do you think exercising improves sexual performance?
What is your greatest sexual weakness?
Do you have sexual secrets? Would you be willing to share any of them?
Do you resent me when I say I don’t feel like making love?
Would you go to a sex therapist if I felt we needed to?
What has been your most negative experience with others religion?
What is the purpose of your life?
What happens to us when we die?
How do you feel about donations to charity?
At this stage in our relationship, do you still feel the need to be on your best behavior, or are you comfortable being yourself?
Do you feel I accept you as you are, or do you think there are things about you I want to change?
Are there duties you expect me to carry out that you would not do?
What do you expect from me as your future spouse?
What is your attitude toward people who disagree with you?
Do you behave differently with different people?
How long do you want to wait before having children?
Who will do the: dishes, bathroom, vacuum, clean car, cook, make bed, and go shopping?
How important is a clean and tidy home to you?
What do you fear in relationships?
What do you dislike most about previous partners?
What is your favorite pastime?
Are there any disagreements from the past that we have not yet resolved?
What have you learned from relationships between other couples?
Why have you ended a relationship in the past?
What did you like most about me when we first met?
Have there been times when you were uncomfortable with the way I behaved with the opposite sex?
Your Definitions: Respect, Loyalty, Honesty, Love, Emotional Intimacy, Trust
