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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 258
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Posts: 258 |
Hi guys, Short version,, recovery going great 2.5 years into recovery, more in love with hubby then ever. Trust returning, SF at all time high,, theres the rub,, the last several days I find myself wondering if SF with me is as good/better then FOW. I've been only with hubby for almost 30 yrs, can't imagine what sex would be like with anyone else (don't want to know lol) but I wonder what was it like for him?? Don't say ask him 'cause that ain't gonna happen... I read Larry's post on women and sex, is it simply a competion/safety thing where I feel that I have to be the best so he won't look elsewhere?? OK I asked what says you? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Me BS 46
FWH 50
married 29 years
seperated 6/03 (FWH lived with OW)
came home 2/04 many broken NC's, many false recoverys
But!! In full recovery now and for the most part doing great!
Ps 3 grown children and 2 awesome grands!
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
Do something completely shocking next time ... KWIM?
lights on
another room
make a sexy phone call middle of the day
what most men want is an enthusiastic partner who they feel they can please.... be vocal about how he pleases you
Last edited by Pepperband; 08/30/06 01:17 PM.
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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 16,412
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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 16,412 |
Pep's right....the biggest advantages that affair sex has on marriage sex is novelty, spontaneity, enthusiasm and fantasy. Put those things INTO your marital sex....and you have the edge. You'll have all of the intimacy, bonding, and depth of marital sex....and all that other stuff too. So be unpredictable, risky, frisky....in a good way. Nobody knows how to stroke your husbands ego....and other stuff....quite like you do. He didn't marry you because you were second best. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 258
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Posts: 258 |
umm we do all that <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> even have gone "parking" on occassion <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />, guess I'm just curious what it was like you know???
Me BS 46
FWH 50
married 29 years
seperated 6/03 (FWH lived with OW)
came home 2/04 many broken NC's, many false recoverys
But!! In full recovery now and for the most part doing great!
Ps 3 grown children and 2 awesome grands!
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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,435
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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,435 |
Dear faithful,
even my X who cheated on me with my BF.. who went to prostitutes, did dating sites etc etc...
Even he admitted at some point in our (false) recovery that sex still was better with me emotionally.
He said he had a hard time getting an orgasm with OWs.
Probably because it never really felt "right".
After all, the fact that he was cheating on me and basically was being the bad guy was always in the back of his mind.
With me, everything was in place, emotionally and physically.
There really is no "better" to that.
I have had a very good idea of what his A was like, since I found a video of them "going at it".
It wasn't any better or different than what we had had at our best moments.
But it felt (well, disregarding the obvious nausea for me) so hollow.. so cheap..
No orgasm can stand up to what the heart is saying.
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 258
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 258 |
thanks everyone who posted, BH I like what you wrote, I feel that you are right, that basically you can find cheap sex anywhere, but with out real love what good is it???
Oh I can't even imagine seeing them in a video gag/vomit/uck
Me BS 46
FWH 50
married 29 years
seperated 6/03 (FWH lived with OW)
came home 2/04 many broken NC's, many false recoverys
But!! In full recovery now and for the most part doing great!
Ps 3 grown children and 2 awesome grands!
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