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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 2
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 2 |
Goodday,
I was married for 5 years but my ex husband and I were together for about +/- 12 years before the marriage. Well to cut a long story short I divorced him because he had an affair and it was not the first time. At the time I made my decision, I was in pain and full of hate. As time when on things became better and I even met someone wonderfull. My problem is that I can not stop thinking about my marriage and about my ex husband. I also feel it is unfair towards my boyfriend. It's like I'm afraid of getting hurt again. How do I get over this stage? Will I ever feel the way I felt for my ex husband about someone else? Is this normal,the more I think about my ex the more I feel I don't want to be with him but he is constantly in my thoughts?
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 675
Member
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Member
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 675 |
Hi Emmie,
Your ex was in your life for a long time. It seems natural that your experiences will be colored by thoughts of him still. It took me years to stop thinking of my ex. I spent a lot of time trying to figure out what was wrong with him. Then I finally turned my attention to myself to try and figure out why I would be with someone that was such a weirdo.
Eventually I understood him and I understood what I reacted to and I was able to let go. Then it was just a matter of time before I could let down my guards and actually trust fully again.
You didn't tell how long you have been apart or divorced from him. I lived "separate" but in the same house as my ex for almost 3 years then took another 8 or 9 months after he vacated the house to actually want to date.
V.
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 5,247
Member
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Member
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 5,247 |
Well he was a part of your life for 17 years. You don't just stop thinking about people.
However, its more important to analyze HOW you are thinking about him.
You may just be processing all that has happened to you -- how long ago was your divorce? It takes time to heal, it sounds like that is what you are doing.
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 2
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 2 |
Thanks for the replies. We separated in November last year and my divorce when through in March this year.
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