Have exposed to WW family, my family, WW friends. Is there a need for last exposure to WW work, OM work, OM family (if possible)? NC has not occured, minimal contact at work. I know there is contact based on phone messages. WW is coming around a little, fog seems to be clearing at times. Is there a need for this added exposure or will it drive her further from me?

After confronted last pm night about contact she admitted to contact with OM. I told her that I was considering exposure to OM family and work. She was mad about this, lots of fog talk. Says she will leave if I tell, says that she thinks I am just doing this out of anger. Blah..Blah.

I told her about this because I have been stressing honesty, I felt I couldn't hide this from her and talk about honesty. What are some opinions of what to do now? Should I go with the exposure or not?

Bad move.

Exposure should NEVER be pre-revealed to the WS or used as a threat. You can be honest after the fact.

Is OM married?

Do they work together?

Hello (again) DavyJones.

As long as your WW continues to work with OM your M is still in trouble.
In fact, the A will simply continue.
Your W will have to change jobs if that's what it takes to make sure that she NEVER sees OM again.
Is there any change OM and/or your WW will get fired it their A is exposed (depends on company policy I guess).

I repeat - don't be honest about any exposure.
This is war.
The A is the enemy and right now your WW is collaborating.
Don't share your war tactics with collaborators.

Right now she might still think you were bluffing.
But she probably informed OM by now about your plans.
Let things cool down a few days to make her feel safe again.
Gather information meanwhile.
Then act.
Think practically - who could help you?
Who could influence OM or your WW if you expose to them?

OK, I see that you think OM is single.

How do you know this?

If they work together, is there a supervisor/subordinate sitch?

What kind of business is it?

WAT

Davy....whatever decision you decide to make about exposure.....don't base your actions on the threats of your wife. Every WS I know has threatened to leave when they know about exposure ahead of time. Is it possible that things might get worse before they get better as a result of exposure? You bet....but ultimately, in most instances....it's still the choice with the best odds for getting NC.

Good Luck

WW and OM do not work together, but have work contact at times. She is looking for new job, but not sure if she plans on us moving with her.

Well today I exposed to OM work and he called WW right after. Apparently the boss said something to him. Wife is still here with me tonight, I think she had plans to leave but didn't. I know she is pissed. OM is single according to PI. I am now debating exposure to OM family (at least his mom, don't know how to contact anyone else). Will this push WW over the edge to leave, or should I just wait a few days and let her get comfortable?

Ideas???

Davy, it is usually best to do it all at once. If you wait, you give him a chance to regroup and catch his breath. It also gives him time to pre-empt you and spin the story. And whatever you do, DON'T TELL YOUR W you are going to do this!