Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 709
A
Member
Member
A Offline
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 709
I thought (yes, I know, thinking is dangerous) that it would be nice to share some of the nice things about our spouses (spice?).

Regardless of whether we're a BS or WS or FWS or CSWCRWATLM (Confused Spouse Who Can't Remember What All These Letters Mean), there should be qualities, talents, characteristics of our spouses that we admire or love or enjoy.

So let's hear them!

I recommend keeping the labels of BS or WS out of the post -- if we really want to know, we can read your history. But if you need to do so, feel free, just keep it positive!

For now, focus on the good in this other person in your marriage.

So . . .

Brag...
Trumpet...
Boast...
Crow...
Exult...
Grandstand...
and
Gloat...

about your spouse!


It might be helpful to concentrate on some positive aspects of your mate. Try for three things, more if you want, but you can come up with at least three, can't you? Come on -- you can do it. And don't throw any left-handed compliments in there (with all due respect to the southpaws in the audience) -- be sincere.

Sure, this could be different, but if we're going to save our respective marriages, we have to think positively about them sometimes -- right?

And if you think this is a stupid idea, God bless you. I'm going to do it anyway!

Thanks for reading.

BTW--what got me thinking about this was a post I made earlier asking about this "180" thingy. I thought that I'd practice by posting a "180" here. Instead of bringing all the negative things that have been done to our marriages, I'd bring the positive for once. --Thanks

Last edited by Artor; 09/01/06 03:53 PM.


Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 709
A
Member
Member
A Offline
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 709
I'll start:

My wife has the most beautiful shoulder-length brown hair with blond and auburn highlights. Her eyes are a brilliantly gorgeous crystal-blue.

My wife is incredibly gifted musically. She can pick the alto line out of any song (and make one up if it’s not there) and plays the piano beautifully.

My wife is an expert organizer. She can whip a plan for anything together and get people moving on it.

My wife can sew dresses and curtains and bed spreads like no one else.

My wife is a fun person to be around and can make even the dullest party a great time.



Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 284
N
Member
Member
N Offline
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 284
Artor:

I actually saw something similar to this exercise about a year ago on a Christian marriage site. They suggested that you list all the good things on one side and then the bad things on another side as a method for newly betrayed spouses and waywards to determine the cost/benefit of rebuilding the marriage vs. divorce. Since their is much resentment and anger often they suggested that the good side contain the top twenty things you like/appreciate about your spouse and keep the bad things to a maximum of five (kind of weighted the odds in favor of marriage but thats all right). Then they suggested that after each spouse was done with their list that they discuss each of the good things and then discuss each of the bad things and discuss how that changes could be made to improve the relationship.

When my FWW and I did this exercise, it was quite apparent that we each saw much good in the other but often focused on the bad/negative things. It was kind of hokie at first but certainly put a new perspective on how we viewed the other spouse and gave us a roadmap for improving our relationship by focusing on the positive things and working on individual improvement on the negative things.


O God, give us the serenity to accept what cannot be changed, courage to change what should be changed, and wisdom to distinguish the one from the other... Rienhold Niebuhr
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 805
S
Member
Member
S Offline
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 805
OK, I'll play. I like this game <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Actually, I already do this- in my planner I keep a running list of things that I appreciate about my husband. I read it when I think there is no hope! It helps a lot.

Here are my first three entries:
1) He's easy to please. (One hug or kiss makes his day.)
2) He forgives and forgets
3) He's an optimist

Good luck with your 180 Artor! Let us know if it helps.


Me: 45
Him: 47
married 23 years
Two wonderful sons
D-day for my EA: 8/15/04
D-day for his PAs: 8/16/06

Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 617
2
Member
Member
2 Offline
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 617
This could be therapeutic...

1) One of the best leaders I have ever had the privilege of working with/learning from/observing

2) Extremely self-disciplined

3) Most devoted and loving parent a child could ever want

4) Strikingly handsome and modest re: appearance

5) Selfless with those in need...would do just about anything to help someone

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 1,466
M
Member
Member
M Offline
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 1,466
I'm in too:

my wife makes me a better person

my wife never holds on to fighting with me, she always drops it and moves on. That makes me drop the fight also.

my wife has the most beautiful eyes. when she smiles her eyes somehow smile too. I could stare at her all day, but it creeps her out when I do.

my wife learend to cook for us when we married - she is good too

for me - my wife is the whole package. She can get dirty with me (dirt not kinky) or clean up and go to any fancy party and hold her own when talking to other people.

my wife is a wonderful mother

me 36
ww 33
ds5
dd2
dday 5-8-06


M2L

ME BH 36 - FWW 33
2 kids
DDAY May 06


Sometimes waywards can be like Laxatives ..... They irritate the crap out of you.
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 79
P
Member
Member
P Offline
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 79
I'll bite,

I remember the first time I met my wife. It was an arranged date. I wasn't sure where I was and I saw in front of me the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen smiling so big with the bluest eyes and dark hair framing the face of an angel. She was walking toward me and, stunned, I turned to look behind me thinking she must be looking at someone else. But no, it was her. From that moment I knew I loved her, although I didn't say it until long afterward. I've never even told her that. We had the most incredible day together and I remember sitting on the boardwalk at the shore. A group of people were walking by and a woman stopped dead in her tracks to stare at us. Finally she said, "you are the most beautiful couple I've ever seen." We were shocked. Shortly afterward my wife asked me what I wanted to do next. I responded, "To be honest with you, I want to go home and make out with you." We laughed and like two highschool teenagers we did. She is the best kisser in the world and her lips are like are the softest most supple lips ever to grace a mortal woman.

She has a flare for fashion. But whether she's dressed to the nines in high heels and saphires for a night on the town or shorts and a t-shirt to work in the garden, her body makes anything look like it came straight out of a DKNY catalogue.

She has an amazingly loving and open heart. So much so that many times when I think about her, I see her innerchild looking back, so innocent and pure. She radiates love that can heal, inspire and make you crumble in awe.

She is very artistic and creative which I respect immensely. As a school teacher she is constantly decorating her room to reflect the current lesson for her kids. Last year she did a rainforest and when you walked into her room, you felt like you were in a rainforest! She draws pictures for her lessons. I wish I had the oppurtnity to ask her to draw something we could frame.

She is wonderful with children. She has a unique way of relating to them as if they were adults yet in a fashion that is clearly tailored for them. It is amazing to see. She is the only woman I could ever imagine being the mother of my children. I have a daughter from a previous relationship and I loved the way she treated her.

Her body was built for cuddling. At night I would sometimes start giggling uncontrollably because just laying together or spooning was never enough. She would always manage to entwine her feet with mine and before I new it we would be enmeshed so tightly it was like we were one person and at the same time it was so perfectly comfortable.

I loved how she was so playful and youthful when we were alone together. She had no qualms about being silly or funny and her laugh was infectious. It was almost impossible for me to hear her laugh and not join in.

The best thing about my wife, is that she is my wife. If God came to me and said, "Peter, I'm going to make a woman for you. Write down what you want." I would not even have begun to list the things about her that continue to amaze me to this day. I am a better man because, even if it were only a while, a woman such as her loved me.

My wife is my hero.


Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 466 guests, and 130 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Limkao, Emily01, apefruityouth, litchming, scrushe
72,034 Registered Users
Latest Posts
Three Times A Charm
by Vallation - 07/24/25 11:54 PM
How important is it to get the whole story?
by still seeking - 07/24/25 01:29 AM
Annulment reconsideration help
by abrrba - 07/21/25 03:05 PM
Help: I Don't Like Being Around My Wife
by abrrba - 07/21/25 03:01 PM
Following Ex-Wifes Nursing Schedule?
by Roger Beach - 07/16/25 04:21 AM
My wife wants a separation
by Roger Beach - 07/16/25 04:20 AM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,625
Posts2,323,524
Members72,035
Most Online6,102
Jul 3rd, 2025
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2025, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 8.0.0