I feel like I’m walking in a strange and dangerous territory. It’s exciting on one side and frightening the other. Just expressing some new feelings here, but perhaps it will generate some interesting and informative feedback.
My 27-year marriage finally crumbled a couple months ago when my W told me she had a vision that we were not meant to be together in this world. I still love her, and at this point would welcome the opportunity to try harder as a couple. Now we’re living separate lives and working through the settlement particulars. DD and DS are adults (27 & 25) so it’s only money – did I say that?
I’ve been communicating almost daily (text, email, and one dinner date) with a woman from my divorce support group. I enjoy helping her with her very difficult situation, and the friendship she gives to help with mine – and yes, the attention too. It’s been decades since I’ve paid attention to these signals, but the eye contact, hand touching, wandering foot under the table, I’m not stupid. I know relationships are out for both of us in these early days. That’s like walking over the cliff hand in hand. I’m finding it challenging, and exciting too, to keep this relationship within the bounds of helpful friends. I’m also seeing a former secretary who is interested in having friendship. She’s a little more stable keeping me at a safe distance, saying, “you’re not ready yet”. She’s right.
This is a strangely exciting time for me, while still being wracked by sadness over my loss. I hope I don’t screw things up.
