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Marriage Builders Forums Our Archives Archived Read-Only Posts Inactive: General Questions I think I might have a problem

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I think I might have a problem #1740784 09/01/06 09:34 PM
Joined: May 2006 Posts: 241 nevada G goingwiththeflow OP Member
OP goingwiththeflow Member G Joined: May 2006 Posts: 241 nevada	I have a male friend who is going through a divorce. His wife is having an affair. Next month his divorce should be final next month. My problem is his flirting with me. When he does it I just ignore him. I have been part of his support system. I just told him recently about my WH. We don't talk about my stich only about his. I don't know how to handle this. His just a friend that's all he could ever be. What do I do? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> Marflow WH-49 Me-40 M-16 yrs DS-16 DS-12 D-Day 4/14/06 WH moved out 5/21/06

Re: I think I might have a problem goingwiththeflow #1740785 09/01/06 09:37 PM
Joined: Aug 2006 Posts: 79 New England P PeterAC500 Member
PeterAC500 Member P Joined: Aug 2006 Posts: 79 New England	Well, advice just given to me was this. End it now. You're married. Focus on the marriage. Take care of yourself but avoid anything that will distract you from the prize!

Re: I think I might have a problem PeterAC500 #1740786 09/02/06 01:40 AM
Joined: May 2006 Posts: 99 G Growthspurt Member
Growthspurt Member G Joined: May 2006 Posts: 99	Marflow, you have got to remove yourself from his support system. You are working on your marriage using the MB principles are you not? Remove yourself because if this friend has any chance to reconcile with his W, even tho the D is almost final, the relationship, no matter what form it takes, is a hindrance to that. As for the flirting, why ignore it? If you are ignoring it then it must make you uncomfortable yes? Stand up for yourself! Tell him you do not appreciate it or at least tell him that his behaviour makes you uncomfortable. That gives you reason to remove yourself from his support system and I would think he would understand that. M 2004 H had an A shortly after False recovery until Aug 2006 H wants D Learning and Plan A Happiness doesn't come from having what you want, it comes from wanting what you have

Re: I think I might have a problem goingwiththeflow #1740787 09/02/06 07:16 AM
Joined: Apr 2004 Posts: 1,435 B brownhair Member
brownhair Member B Joined: Apr 2004 Posts: 1,435	Quote I just told him recently about my WH. So he didn't mind going after a married woman? Please tell him his behavior = that of his WW. [color:"purple"]When we lose sight of the well being of others, it is like losing sight in one eye. (the Dalai Lama)[/color] The Neutral Zone Theory Doing the right thing vs being a good boy/girl

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