I need more advice and perhaps a 2x4! I know I will get it, but I also know I need it.

Here goes.... I introduced M to my family about a year ago. My children met him about 11 months after we dated and then I introduced him to my Mom and siblings soon after that. I have met one of his closest friend and his wife, and one of his aunt when he was in the hospital this past June.

In July M's parents had a family cookout, I did move that day, but he never once invited me; even something like "take a break and come over and meet my family." When he was in the hospital in June, he wanted me to call before going up to see him, I thought it was strange but now it finally hit me.

What really open my eyes was last weekend when he had to stay over night for tests and observations. I stayed with him all night and he was released the next day. His Mom had drove him to the hospital the day before, so his car was at his parent's. I offered to take him to his parent's so he can pick up his car. He didn't want that, said that his Dad was out and about already and that he would come and get him. Then his Dad called to tell him that he was at Home Depot. Mike asked me to take him to Home Depot and drop him off there. I did that, he never said, "Come on in with me and meet my Dad." He just thanked me, kissed me and got out and said he would be at my house after dialysis.

It was so obvious that he is preventing me from meeting his family. This issue has been very consuming this past week. Last night I offered to have a cookout at my house and invite his parents over, his reply was, "my parents will be busy all weekend doing projects around the house."

I know I need to tackle this issue, any advice?

Yes free, I would wonder too. My advice is to talk to him about it and find out what's going on. He may view meeting his parents as a very significant step in the relationship and may not be ready for that yet. Again, you won't know unless you ask.

Over a year ago, I went through exactly what you are going through now. My advice, it's been long enough and you both seem to have gone through a lot with this medical issue, sotalk to him and get an answer. The reason why may surprise you, it may not be you at all, it may just be he's concerned how "you" will feel about him once "you" meet them, not all parents make it easy for a person to come out and say "these are my parents", and then again (being direct) it may absolutely be about you, that you aren't the one or he doesn't know if your the one yet and he wants his parents to only meet "the one".

But the only way you'll find out is to talk to him. If he says it's not you, but them, then don't let him get by with that. You love him, and his parents are the people who helped make him who he is, so you'll love them too, if he loves you then being a part of their life no matter how different they are is part of growing in a relationship.

Then again, if it is you, then move on, you deserve better for yourself.

Good luck to you and let us know how your talk went.

Anna

I'm (almost) amazed that in (nearly?) two years of dating you haven't (a) met his family, and (b) discussed the matter with him. It sure appears that he is either trying to prevent them from meeting you, or trying to prevent you from meeting them, and I would definitely want to know why.

Very odd. Normally, I would want my family to meet a serious girlfriend.