I will update my situation in detail sometime in the near future. Many of you will remember my situation from between January 1 and present, 2006. My WW(I guess officially my EX-WW) and I had our day in court this past Wed and Thur. We settled the financials and the divorce was a no brainer, so all that was left was child custody.

I wanted to go ahead and let those of you who are scared to fight for full custody in order to protect your children from a WW when they are so fogged out that they are not the parent they need to be and from the OP (in my case a nut job)that it can be done. I was awarded full custody of our 18 month old son on Thursday of this week.

I want to thank so many of you that supported me when I came her thinking that I was out of mind and emotionally devestated. Thanks to the many of you who helped me try and save our marriage for months before I finally decided to protect myself and our son from my WW's actions and from the loser OM.

Will update the details later.

wow.....great news!! Good for you chere!

That is absolutely EXCELLENT news hap! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

You really need to give us an update since alot has transpired in only a few months.

Great job my friend and now your XWW will feel the consequences of her actions.

That is WONDERFUL!!! It warms my heart that a dad can get custody of such a young child. You've done a good thing for your son.

Hope your wife wakes up.

Good job H&P

Not every day a dad gets custody of an 18 month old let alone any pre-school age child. Congrats to you and your fine attorney.

Mr. Wondering

Good news. Looking forward to the update. Betcha' busy with that little one, eh? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

We understand and will wait.... patiently. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

take care,
L.

:-):-)

I am so so proud of what you set out to accomplish...
and what you did....

ARK^^

This woman lost custody of her child on Thursday of last week, has one day to spend with him before transfer to me on Friday. What does she do? Does she spend the day with him, take him and his step sister to the park, play with him....ummm, NO. She gets into an automobile with the indirect cause (the lunatic OM)she lost custody and drives to Tennessee to a football game for the weekend returning Sunday night.

Wait, it gets better. I saw one of OUR friends at Church on Sunday (she testified to my being a great father ONLY, nothing deragotory towards EX WW) and she asked me "Did you hear about the pep rally on Friday?" I said no what happened? She said "Well step daughter was cheering as part of jr cheer camp at the pep rally and EX WW came to the event. She did not take a photo of SD or watch her perform. She only approached OUR friend and told her "Thank you for being my friend and helping me lose custody of my baby." She then said something ugly about me to this person and stormed off for her little weekend in Knoxville with lunatic.

That's it isn't it? Oh nooooo...We make a holiday transfer on Monday and she asks if the baby can spend the night. My attorney told me for now that I should follow the letter of the law with her (given high emotions and such) so I said "R, you know that I would love to say yes to that request but my attorney has advised me to follow the letter of the law for now (which is 8:00 AM to 6:00 PM)." She jumped into the front seat and said "Well your attorney is an idiot!" I said nothing... She said "An idiot". I said nothing. She said "I guess he thinks a mother seeing her child four times per month is enough!". I said nothing except to tell them to have a great day and have fun together to ask her to tell my SD that I love her very much. I start to walk away and she has a melt down on her steering wheel, crying uncontrollably. I am saddened beyond belief by this and begin to cry myself so I return to my car and leave. She sits there a good 3-4 minutes before driving off. Okay that's all....nooooooo She returns at 6:00 PM and gets out of the truck crying and sobbing. She takes the child thrusts him at me and says here I can't do this....I said, please take a minute and visit with him further as I have to go into the restaurant and pick up some dinner for him and me. I also got her tissue. I made the trip last at least 15 minutes so that she could play with him longer. I returned and asked her how Victoria was doing and she said "not good". I asked if there was something I could do, talk to her, etc and she said "she doesn't want to talk to you right now". I said okay and reminded her that the deadbeat bio father had quit another job and that she would need to add SD to her insurance (she didn't even know this) since my company will not allow me to keep her on there beyond the next week or two. She said she understood. She had another melt down and then drove away. The child said mommy, mommy and I started to cry so I removed myself from the situation.

This is it...I feel sorry and pity for her and so on...Well, it's not over yet. I sent a text message again asking R to help my SD with counseling and to tell her the truth and work with her on this terrible situation. I did not receive a reply until about 2 hours ago. The text message said "U ripped her brother away from his home, his mommy and her! Even a 9 yo knows that this is not love".

I typed a long response and put it into draft. I did so because I am beyond certain that she has gone insane, takes no responsibility for the the breakup of our family and the OM's family and is a foggy as ever. I know that nothing I say that makes sense will get through as long as she is wayward and entitield and selfish and addicted. I haven't always understood this as I am a "fixer". I want things to be okay and will work tirelessly to that end. It will not work in this situation. This is between her and God. I will not save her or interfere this time.

Comments welcomed/

I will update entire story this weekend including unbelievable court trial and all. Kinda busy right now chasing an 19 mo old. Today was his first day at playschool at the local church (a highly regarded program for litte ones and difficult to get into). He did great!

These transfers sound highly emotional and unhealthy for you and your son. Perhaps you can arrange to have someone else handle the actual transfers for awhile. Maybe a pick up and drop off at a relatives home or something???

Mr. Wondering

Mr W,
When if ever will the wayward take responsibility for their actions and decisions that led everyone to this point?

If the transfers continue to be highly charged then I may have to consider something along the line you suggest.
Thanks.

<rant on>

the stupid affair-struck-infidels have no right

NONE AT ALL

to complain about the ugly consequences they face when it was their dumb-[censored] choice of taking their panties off in the first place and screwing another man not giving a chit what might happen to their babies ...

I hate waste and I hate stupid

to feel sorry for her is just beyond my reach right this moment

I will probably change my mind later ... and I might get deleted by Justuss

but I just need to get this off my chest

stupid stupid stupid
waste waste waste
boo-hoo sucks to be you

and your babies pay the cost for your screwing another man

idiot!

there ... I am done

<rant off>

feel free to delete this or pick <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> me apart for my "DJ" ....

..... this is what I look like~~~> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

PS.... congratulations and rejoicing for your getting full custody

a judgement with some teeth for once!

Pep

Thanks Pep (and the rant was right on)

I just don't get it...What did she think I was going to do?

Oh honey, don't worry about abandoning our family to go and screw another man, 22 years older than you with 15 documented affairs under his belt who has been referred for sexual addiction and is on depression medication, made over $400K per year but yet is bankrupt, whose own grandkids don't get to see or visit with and family has disowned, don't you worry...go right ahead and do this if this makes you happy. I know that we had a good marriage and it was probably too boring for you (Norman Rockwell and all) so go ahead I understand, sow your oats with this ugly, loser old enough to be your father... have fun OH and by the way, take our kids with you, move in or marry him and I'll come and get them every other weekend so that the two of you will have a babysitter and you two can run off and act like newlyweds...Almost forget, I will send you a $1,200 per month in child support so that there are no financial worries of any kind on top of giving you half of our assets to boot. I hope this is enough and if its not you can always use our daughter (step to me) against me to leverage your position for other things I will be willing to give the two of you. Where should I send the wedding gift (are you registered?).

I hope this will be enough knowing that you have destroyed my self esteem, broken my heart into pieces, walked out on the best thing that ever happened to you and so on...I just want you to be "happy" so let me know what else I can sacrafice to this end ASAP so that you can truly get on with your new and wonderful life and partner. He truly is a great guy breaking up our marriage, his marriage and others before this that must have been doomed for failure. Heck he did everyone a favor. Can I send him something directly to show my appreciation?

Thanks Honey and best of luck. I will check in from time to time to make sure that isn't something else I could be doing for the two of you.

going through similiar situation

well noted in poston this site... wife is with ex husband, she filed for divorce - decided to go after me for custody/support , taking the car and expecting me to pay it... she denies the affair but mentioned she is getting her kids back but not back with the father, though she is moving into his moms house where her 2 kids live and taking my child there..by the way, he lives there too

so i ask you what all did you do to get this accomplished... she got a paralegal to draw forms for divorce, not a lawyer... but i have a lawyer - what all did you do, i want to protect my kid, and not give her the car thats in my name..its the only vehicle in my name.

email me at the address below Mr. Almeida

Mr. Wondering

my apologies for my tantrum

Pep

It just keeps getting better....

I called the EX WW last night at the advice of a friend in an attempt to reason with her about me speaking with our SD (daughter to me since 13 months of age). The conversation went like this

Me: Hello R
R: Hey
Me: What are you guys doing?
R: We are at gymnastics (SD goes here, of course it is in the home town of the lunatic)
Me: Okay, how is V doing in gymnastics?
R: Good
Me: Look, R I really hope that after some time passes that you will get V some help. She needs counseling, she needs you to take your eyes off yourself and see her and her needs. She needs you to help with this transition
R: She needs help because YOU (meaning ME) took her brother away.
R: You lied to her. You told her that she could see B anytime she wanted and SHE wanted him to spend the night Mon. night and you said no.
Me: R, first of all you said nothing about V wanting B to spend the night. You were the one that asked the question. I then told you that I would love to say yes but that my attorney had told me to go with the letter of the law for now given emotions and sensitivities on both sides at this point.
R: Then, like I said "Your attorney is an idiot!"
R: V, doesn't want to talk to you right now.
R: I can't believe your attorney or you think a mother not seeing her child in over two weeks is in his best interests
YOU are going to traumatize the child if YOU do this. He has never been away from me for two weeks.
Me: R, I have a question for you, a serious one. Just what options did you leave me with? Did you fully think that I would simply tell you to take our children and move in or marry the lunatic that you are seeing and to feel free to have him raise our children except for the 4 times per month I would be allowed to see them? Did you really think that I would respond this way? You expected me to allow this lunatic to raise our children as his own since his own children and grandchildren will have nothing to do with him.
R: I would be raising B
Me: Don't kid me R. We both know your intentions and they are not that pure.
Me: One last piece of advice for you so that you can begin to heal from all of this. Go and stand for a long, long time in front of a large mirror and find the person that you should despise and be angry with before its too late for you.

SHE HANGS UP.

The woman is insane. Her attorney told her why she lost custody, the Judge and state told her why she lost custody, I told her why she lost custody, Friends (not the enabling,"give a crack addict a pipe kind of friends) told her why she lost custody and SHE still doesn't get it.

I will have no further discussions with her along this line. If it doesn't involve the children in one way or the other then I am done talking with her. She is in God's hands now for no one else can cure her of this "disease", of that I am certain. I will continue to pray for her as the mother of these children and that's the extent of my help. I am going to transfer the cable bill and country club bills today (she didn't even acknowledge that I was still paying them in court) and they total another $160 per month. Add the child support and there is another $560 per month that she hasn't been paying since June 2006.

I fear that my EX WW is one that will absolutely have to fall all the way to the ground to get it and even then she may be so prideful and full of herself and mentally deranged that she may grab a shovel and keep digging. I don't want to be around to see it when it happens.

HP,
I want to tell you as a father that has full custody of his 10 year old son... you are a hero to your child. You are standing up for what is right and best for him. My son was upset at first... now he thrives being with me full time. Your ex-ww is clearly off her rocker and you would do well to keep following the letter of the custody order until she shows herself to be a better person. Chances are, that will not happen and she may just fade away.
Be strong and be proud of what you have done to limit the damage to your child.
MEDC

no more pointless phone calls... promise?

Pep