LMAO...Thank I'm doing my best!

I'm so happy to hear that things are going well! I can also relate to the getting away from MB for awhile. Just keep us updated from time to time! k? LOL

CC, good to here from you again as I was starting to worry about you. I can defenitely relate to you needing a break from MB as I have kind of been doing the light version myself.

I'm glad things are moving along in the direction you would like even though the pace could be quicker. Your FWH will suprise you once day as I have told you before...just keep being the new CC.

My Plan B is status quo as I continue to grow and become the person I want and like. It is a slow process and I'm learning alot about myself along the way. My WW left me a message last week saying that I was acking like a jerk because I don't communicate with her, so not much has changed on her end.

Stay in touch!

Hi guys...figured I should give a brief update as I am wondering about some MBer's how haven't posted lately ...

Things are quietly progressing.FWH is consulting me more making plans and is generally showing me more respect. Actually if there had been no A I'd say we are better now then we have been in years. BUT there was an A. He still won't talk about it. He obviously plans to stay with me and is planning for the future w/me but on his terms. I just don't know if thats good enough anymore. I realize I may never get the validation I long for. I am being still....trying figure out what I am willing to live w. I don't know that he is capable of giving what I want.

Now I truely understand when the say D comes from BS. Sometimes its just not enough.

Personally I am doing really well. I am happy most days. I can't remember the last time I cried or couldn't sleep. Life goes on. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

HTW please check in!

From my 3 year vantage point, it's still soooo very early in the process for you, CC.

It's taken me this long to be TRULY HAPPY.

Just today I realized that the A doesn't make much difference to me anymore.

I see it as part of OUR LIFE STORY TOGETHER....

part of the wisdom that I will be able to pass along to my grandchildren....about marriage and facing life's trials, etc...

Hi CC...I've seen you post help for others and I'm glad to see you give us an update. I'm not sure how to make out what you are saying about how things are progressing. Are you content or are you giving it more time to see if it continually improves and your FWH gives you what you need...finally.

I guess this whole adultery stuff pushes the bar up for the BS in most cases.

What are your plans for Christmas and the holidays?

I think about you and your situation often and truly hope you get to the place you want to be.

I can relate to the not crying or not having trouble sleeping anymore. This is the new normal and we get used to things I guess.

Do you plan on eventually asking FWH about the A and working through those issues or will you just let him deal with it at his pace.

Good to hear from you! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Hi, ChaCha! I was so happy to see you post yesterday! I didn't get the opportunity to post to you. Thihngs have been crazy at work and when I get home I try not to think to much...mainly relax...LMAO <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

You know I'm supporting you all the way! You're happiness is what really matters! You matter!

Please continue to let us know what's going on! I appreciate hearing from you! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

That is still my hope that this is a short chapter in a long story that just added a little twist. The lesson I have learned I will pass on....I would hate to see anyone I love go through this. I think all my future engagement gifts will be HNHN!


You have been able to process the A info, be validated and move on. I think what you are saying is that you don't think about the A much now. But I believe adultry has made a big difference in all of our lives and how we relate to one another. Its one helluva wake up call. I for one will never take for granted someone's kindness, love or devotion. Relationships need to be nurtured and appreciated.

I recently bought this for our OS.

I wanted to send it to his GF (whom he plans to marry)..you know, the overdoing..but he said that would be a "bit much"..that he will share it with her... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />



CC, actually I do think about adultery alot..maybe too much..coming to this site....

However, I totally agree with the rest of your post. For me, it's positive to have learned not to take anything or anyone for granted... especially my H's love. I can truthfully say that it has changed my life in many POSITIVE ways as well as the NEGATIVE. I guess I am saying that I have ADAPTED....

And I'm trying to remind you that it takes TIME.

I bet if you read my posts here when I was at your place I probably sounded much like you....

HTW thanks for stopping by...

LOL...you are very perceptive! I'm not sure how I feel about how things are progressing! Things have definitely improved. FWH is home everynight, he is talking with me about daily things, family things, he consults w/ me when decisions need to made on spending time & money, he is helping around the house and w/laundry, he is finishing projects he started around the house. We have fun as a family but we have not gone out as a couple. He helps with laundry...I pack his in his suitcase and not in his dresser. He has winterized the RV but has not asked to move home...yet he is here every night. He sleeps on the couch. He spends his money on us and the house.

He has always been the strong silent type...never comfortable discussing emotions...but he easily shows affection to the kids. I am seeing more of the man I married but I don't love him the way I use to.

I can't force him to change...but I know deep in my heart I need to feel loved and understood....I don't feel that now.If this M is going to survive at some point I will need answers about the A... to process it...to be validated...to feel safe...to move on w/ our lives

For the holidays...we are planning to do Christmas together buying joint gifts for family and friends. My SIL & BIL are hosting Thanksgiving. The MOST exciting thing is that this is the first year in my whole adult life that I will NOT have to work a major holiday!!!! That is VERY WONDERFUL!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Is all quiet on the plan B front? How are the kids handling it? Is the 1 week on /1 week off schedule working? Did you finish painting yet???? What are your plans for the hoidays? How is work? Are you still stepping away from temptation?

Thanks Mimi,
Time just keeps marching on....
I look back to where we were 5 years ago....before the A its almost hard to remember that there were good times. It seems SO long ago and yet it feels like yesterday. 2 years ago when WH was deeply emeshed w/ OW it seems like a horrible nightmare...sometimes it feels like I'm still sleeping.

In another 2 years I'm sure I'll be in a better place but I'm not sure FWH will be there w/ me. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

Hi Rin,
Thanks for stopping by. I've caught up a little on your thread...it seems like things are settling down a bit on your homefront.

Like mimi says it takes time. Sometimes I wish I could just jump ahead 5 years and see where we will be....but then I'd miss a lot of GREAT stuff along the way!

Hang in there! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

CC, His actions tell me he has an interest in making things work but is not 100% sure yet or how to go about getting there. I think he feels comfortable with you at home as you are most likely making the home feel safe for him.

I haven't been through this so I wish I could offer you more. mimi is giving you some excellent insight based on what she went through with her FWH.

I think you guys could really benefit from a vacation alone just to get away and enjoy having a good time in a different setting. Is there anyway that might happen?

As for me...


yes, she hasn't tried to contact me since I replied to her request for pizza by say I was only interested in a committment from her.


kids are adjust well but miss me and their mom at times. The 1 week on/off is working well also.


only the powder room left and it is the room my WW hated becuase it was never painted before. Now it will look like showroom condition <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />


The kids will be with their mom this year and it pains me to think I won't see them on Christmas <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />


I'm slowly improving my performance at work as it has taken me a while to regain my focus.


yes, but it is getting more difficult as time goes by as I am slowly coming back to life and this has had a direct effect on others around me. I have more confidence and can hold a conversation without drifting off to la-la land. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

There is no shortage of oppourtunities, however I'm not ready yet and have maintained my emotional wall.

So, things are slowly getting better and now I'm feeling like I'm being help back as I want to dive right back into living. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Didn't mean to fill your thread with my stuff... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

Didn't mean to fill your thread with my stuff...
LOL!!! Its ok...I asked! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> It sounds like your personal recovery is coming along...I know it gets lonely sometimes. Thanks for the update!

I think you should take a quick trip to Los Vegas for Christmas or some other fun distraction. Will you have the kids Christmas Eve?

Bump for those interested