Hi, first, I must warn you this is probally going to be long, but I must tell everything in order to get help.
My H and I have been married and divorced twice and have been together a total of 12 years. We have separated several times over things that I found out. He has hid many things from me during our marriage, such as pot, drinking, porno mags and his weakness for other women.
I found a Barely Legal porno mag in his truck and we had a big fight. We have an 11 year old son and a 9 year old daughter, and I was scared they could have found it. We were all in his truck that day. While the kids and I were at church he left and didn't come home. He then tells me he went and got drunk and went to a strip club. ( He didn't have his ring on either the next day) Anyway, the preacher talked to him and we worked things out and then last week after marriage counseling I found out about this other woman who is a crack ho, and is known around our town, well, she gave him a blow job. He supposedly put her to work(he owns his own business). He admitted the truth and said he did not have sex with her. The word around town is she has HIV. Anyway, so the counselor suggested we separate and that my H has a sex addiction. He says he can not bear to even look at me for all the pain he has caused me. With this he has cheated on me 2 times, and I have had 6 women over the course of our marriage say he has come onto them, one being my brother's wife.
Now to the good things about him. He is a wonderful person,he is kind, he holds the door open, he is very respectful to women, he is a good father, he works everyday, he gives me money, he would give me his last dime if I asked for it. He came today and cut the grass. We live by his family,and it would hurt the kids to up and move them, so I stayed at our house.
Now my dilema is, he is seeing a male counselor,and he admits he has problems, but sincerely wants help. All my friends and family think I am crazy for still holding on, but I love him so much. I was strong before when I divorced him before, but now I can't find that strength. He even came Sunday and went to church with us. We have a great relationship 98% of the time.We go places together, our sex life is great, we go out on dates without the kids. We have both done things that has hurt the other, that is why I refuse to drink.(I have cheated 2 times as well) How do you know when a person will never change and how do you get the strength to say it is over. I know God has a better plan for my life than this, but I love this man and I want him to change. We did have sex the other night when he brought the kids home. The counselor told us not to, but I am attracted to him, and cannot tell him no. I know I shouldn't have, actually we both knew. Any advice from anyone would be greatly appreciated. I have found some strength by reading on this website. I have read His Needs/Her Needs and the Power of a Praying Wife. They helped, but I need more than that.

I feel for you. I don't know how to reply to the problems that you are going through, but know that you are not alone in your pain.

Thanks, I have always heard what does kill you makes you stronger, so one of these days I am going to rise above all of this pain!!! Have a nice day everyone!

You both have been betrayers and you yourself must feel the pain that your husband says he is feeling. Going to counseling is the best advice we all can give you. I would also like to mention that you need to follow the counselors advice. They are asking you to not have sex with your H....for good reasons. You did anyway...and what you should do is not put yourself in the position of making it easy to have sex. When we comes over to drop the kids off...make sure he doesn't come in the house or stays at the foyer.

There is so much going on in your life and you already divorced him once...I do see where family is having a difficult time. He seems to have an addiction for sex and he is seeking help...good for him.

All I can say is that you need to move on. To get your life together and see what happens.