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I've been thinking about this and SF is one of the EN's that are not being met to cause one to have an affair in the first place. If we can talk about the other EN's that cause an A, why can't we talk about SF???
BS (me)-26
WH-27
Dday-August 2006
0 kids
Married 4 years
NC established 1-26-07
status-working on it
"Sometimes, I'm afraid and I don't feel that tough...but I'll stand back up."
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Joined: Nov 2006
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Sometimes its just better to know when to pick your battles. If you have a SF question, just ask it. I'll try and answer it as coldly and with as little humor as possible.
Something that I might suggest to spice things up is taking a picture with your cameraphone of you from the waist up (sans clothing), and sending him a text message with it in there. Tell him how you can't wait for him to get home, and this is something for him to think about and tide him over until he gets off work. Sometimes the excitement of the buildup is better than the actual act. It's better than, "Well, we've got 15 minutes before The Office comes on, do you wanna do it real fast."
Jim BS - 32 (me) FWW - 33 Married 8/31/03 No kids (but 3 cats) D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA) NC agreed to - 11/8/06 NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07 Status - In Recovery Jim's Story
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Thanks for the idea Jim...but we live in the Ice Age of cell phones...we have Nextel, but no cameraphones. I never understood the point of them, but that's OK.
I'm not that interested in necessarilly spicing things up as I am in upping the frequency.
But, I am being as patient as possible and hoping that will fix itself when he's gone through withdrawals.
I do have a question for BS's and FBS's: while going through this did the thought of what you're WS did pop in your head at the strangest times. I find that happening a lot lately and it digusts me and I want nothing to do with WH. Then it passes and I'm OK again.
BS (me)-26
WH-27
Dday-August 2006
0 kids
Married 4 years
NC established 1-26-07
status-working on it
"Sometimes, I'm afraid and I don't feel that tough...but I'll stand back up."
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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,222
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we have Nextel, but no cameraphones. I never understood the point of them Now you do. I do have a question for BS's and FBS's: while going through this did the thought of what you're WS did pop in your head at the strangest times. I find that happening a lot lately and it digusts me and I want nothing to do with WH. Then it passes and I'm OK again. It happens to me all the time. It is especially worse because she won't disclose that to me fully (all I know is what OM told me, the nerve of that guy, huh), so the rest is just left up to the imagination.
Jim BS - 32 (me) FWW - 33 Married 8/31/03 No kids (but 3 cats) D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA) NC agreed to - 11/8/06 NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07 Status - In Recovery Jim's Story
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Posts: 853
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I can't believe OM told you what happened...that's wrong.
WH told me, but no details, so I have my imagination too. It really sucks.
Today has been a bad day. We got into a huge fight. We both LBed (him especially). I couldn't stop myself. At that moment I did not care and I pulled out everything I had and threw it to him.
Once I forgive him for today's altercations, I guess it's time to get back on the horse.
BS (me)-26
WH-27
Dday-August 2006
0 kids
Married 4 years
NC established 1-26-07
status-working on it
"Sometimes, I'm afraid and I don't feel that tough...but I'll stand back up."
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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,222
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I used OM's stupidity and arrogance to confirm the PA. I called him and confronted him that I knew what happened (I really didn't), and he responded by saying, "Hey, she didn't have sex with me but we fooled around for a while. Yeah, I know it was probably wrong because you're still married, but she's going to leave you for me anyway."
Jim BS - 32 (me) FWW - 33 Married 8/31/03 No kids (but 3 cats) D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA) NC agreed to - 11/8/06 NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07 Status - In Recovery Jim's Story
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That's crazy Jim.
Hey!! I got good news today. OW's last day is January 29. Other people from her department told WH that last week. He claims to have NC with her. We looked at cell phones tonight so he could get an idea of what he wanted (doesn't want a camera phone) and he's still going to change his number once she's gone (my idea). I'm thrilled to finally have a date for her being GONE. Maybe then we can start moving on with our lives.
WH sincerely apologized, many times, for his LBing me today (and it was bad too) and we had a wonderful afternoon of lunch, shopping, dinner and more shopping. Plenty of deposits were made on both of our parts.
BS (me)-26
WH-27
Dday-August 2006
0 kids
Married 4 years
NC established 1-26-07
status-working on it
"Sometimes, I'm afraid and I don't feel that tough...but I'll stand back up."
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