I can tell that the McBecca thread is very personal for you...It shows in many ways, especially in your references to the OC in the situation as a boy...You have a son...The OC in question is a girl...Also in the way that you believe that some there are disrespectful towards men...I don't see that at all, which tells me that perhaps you are being clouded by your own personal circumstances...I will tell you that if I didn't know you better that your views would imply that you hold contempt for FWWs...I know otherwise, as you have always been respectful towards me, a repentant FWW...

Anyway, FWIW, I just wanted to let you know that even though we disagree on this issue, I wish you well and hope that that thread isn't causing you unnecessary pain...This place can be a minefield for emotions I know...

Hope we're cool...

Mrs. W

Email 4 ya, Mrs Dubya.

MEDC,

I too find it infuriating that fatherhood is being equated to nothing more that a sperm donation.

This sickens me.

To assume that any man can feel what I do for my kids is a complete joke.

My children are genetically linked to me and this matters to me. I will never look at other children like I look at mine. Through them my line continues, this may be moot to some but it isn't to me. I have more to loose that any other man would if I fail at my parental duties.

Being a father is amazing. When you hold your progeny you are touching all of your clan that came before you.

To me it matters

Right Back Atcha Kimmy! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W

I hear you... I respect you... but if I didn't know you better, I would think that you had a problem with men. There are some that agree with me...and some you.
The gender of the child does not matter to me at all.

I hold contempt, not for FWW's... but for those that deny access to a child.

I asked a lot of questions on that thread that no one chose to answer.

Why would this child be better off with a woman that has shown herself to be a lousy mother? Think about what she has done and what she is considering doing. She has failed at job #1 so, what do we do, reward her with another child.

The OM in this case did commit a lesser of two evils. Even if you do not agree that it is okay to date a separated woman... she was just that and a lot of people think that is okay. But SHE cheated on her H, SHE cheated on her kids, SHE is threatening to take her other two kids away from her H, she is an unfit parent and in my eyes the child belongs with his father. But heaven forbid we take a child from a mother. After all, she carried it... she is entitled... no matter how bad a person or mother she has shown herself to be.

The OM... I don't like what he did... not one bit... but it appears as though he has a standard that says it is okay to date a woman that is going to get a divorce. There are a lot of good people that feel that way... I don't agree... but it certainly, in my eyes, is not even in the same ball park as what she did. Not even close.

And yes, you, Mr. W and I are cool. There are some I am ticked at for questioning my character just because I don't see it their way... but you and I are fine. Now, me and Pep and FF have some things to iron out.

no we don't

I'm perfectly content being at odds with you under certain circumstances

I don't mind one bit you holding the beliefs that you hold

good for you!

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Pep <~~~ way too kewl <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

NOT SO. The Betrayed Husband is the more innocent party and the more worthy father. And he has made that offer and has followed through thus far in this baby's life.

I feel very strongly that while you accuse Pep of being gender biased here, the more apparent gender bias is held by you against women - because the more worthy father is the one you would screw out of the chance of raising this child - and HE alone is the most worthy parent to teach this child a moral compass that will prevent this from going another generation.

oh please... I would say the same thing if a mother was denied access. Save your insanity for someone that is listening to you. I even said early on in the thread... if either parent chooses to give up their parental rights, then I am okay with it. I just want to see equality. You are blind to that.
Your opinion really doesn't mean squat to me when you reduce it to that.
I will accuse anyone of being sexist when they talk about sperm donor and such... that is disrespectful to the father... not the man acting as the father.
And his WW screwed her H and the OM out of a reasonable situation. I wouldn't screw him at all and told her she would be wrong for taking HIS children from him.
Bye.

and yes, the BH is the innocent here. Not the WW and not the OM... but the BH is not the father of this child.

Daddy is the one changing diapers, doing 4 AM feedings, and putting a roof over baby's head & food in baby's mouth ... that's Daddy work, done by Daddy

Pep <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

same here for me, R. You know I like you and it is okay to disagree. We both happen to be passionate about this coming from different POV's.

I don't think McBecca is a bad mother. I believe she is a poor mother during her A, as was I during my A. She has made poor choices, continues to run in circles but she does love her children. The only way for this mom to get her head together is to have at least 3-6 months of solid NC with OM.

Look my H was not a good father during his A but I always knew he loved his kids. It has been very hard for him to walk away from his OC but for now, he had to get his head on straight and do what was best for me and our COM. I know you will disagree with this but we have an OW that is highly exlosive and wants it her way. Best to back out and let OC have a peaceful life. BTW, if my H changes his mind I will support him.

Thanks... i like you too. We will agree on most... this is just one I feel VERY strongly about.
I can respect a person and disagree with them. I appreciate you sharing the same.

MEDC, please note I’ve send you this post on McBecca’s thread.

I support and agree with your views on this 100%.

Thank you. I am done explaining my thoughts to anyone here. People have been over the top in their manipulation of the things I have said. Not misinterpretations, flat out hypocritical manipulations. I do not owe anyone any more of an explanation than I offered on that thread.