Apologies, I accidentally buried this in another thread.

Despite being exposed in January (and I know to be faltering ever since) the affair doesn't seem to be ended -can't get them separated plus they both moved out in May. Most recent thing my WS told me is that he is trying to work things out with his wife. I suspect she is still deeply fogged - pretty much borne out by her continued conflicting justification arguments.

I spoke with his wife briefly a couple of days ago, we both recognize how 'textbook' the A is and both want the same thing - we're going to meet for a chat (at a neutral venue) tonight.

Thing is although I'm sure I will learn some new truths about the affair and her view of his alleged "working on his family" and can share most of what I know with her I'm not sure what else we can accomplish.

Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Be sure to share the MB principles with her if she hasn't already been here. Has she exposed on her side? Has she made it clear to her WS that cake eating is unacceptable? Has she made it clear that they will not be friends if this goes to D? Is she or has she been in plan A, does she know what this is?

Be careful as to not let your WS know that you are secretly working together. They will see it as you ganging up on their little fantasy and may actually bond together more (us against the world attitude).

I don't know much yet since we really only talked long enough to set up a meeting and for her to mention to me that her WS keeps insisting to her that he doesn't love her (as does mine for that matter, seems like par for the course) and that she doesn't know what could come of us meeting. I don't know either but figure some truth and honesty might be a refreshing change.

Both WS have our respective children so are unlikely to know about our meeting. Neither of us will be telling.

If the various stories my WS has told me are true (second hand info and fed by the OM and fog obviously) then yes, she has exposed. Beyond that I believe she has talked to counsellors and has read several books. I don't think she has visited MB or has a plan A/B. If the claims her WS have made to my WS about wanting to work things out with his family are anything more than another attempt to continue the A then she may stand a much better chance than I seem to at the moment so I will refer her here for sure - she may still have opportunity for an effective plan A. I seem to be in plan B territory but I hadn't found MB so my plan A (not that I knew it was a plan A at the time) was not consistent enough.

I did the same thing. It helps to have someone in the enemy's camp.

It's a business strategy meeting. The agenda:

Coordinate exposure
Coordinate intel
Coordinate NC
Coordinate communication protocols.

With prayers,

Well, that was an interesting chat!

I learned pretty much what I expected, no surprises.

She (without knowing it) was muddling along in pretty much a Plan A and recently threatened D in a move to Plan B which may have started to wake up her WH. Then again, he told her that he had ended the A, told her that he had told my WW it was over, there was to be no more contact, there was nothing left, he didn't love her, etc. What he really told my WW was pretty much the same crap he has fed her every month or so for the last 8 months - that he loves her but can't commit to her now because ... (this time he has to try to work out his marriage but he isn't sure if he can). And the last time I saw them together was I think (not 100% sure) after this claimed end to the A...

The knowledge I shared certainly opened her eyes, she hadn't had very much of the truth - I held back but even so she was just about ready to kill him. Good thing he was out of town for the weekend. She was going away with a girl friend for the weekend too so she had someone to talk to which is good, I hope she'll be ready to get back to the plan. She says she is giving them until Christmas.