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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 276
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OP
Member
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 276 |
My H left me last thursday- long story- in my other posts. THere was no affair, just long struggle about having his own business and whether he should go back to work or not, etc.
I want to PLAN A him, but not sure how to handle it. I have not been calling him, but have been taking his calls, and acting nice. I have been text messaging him every morning telling him one thing that I love about him, and telling him to have a good day. I made him a "to go" plate from the dinner I cooked last time he had to come pick something up.
Anymore ideas?
I posted here in infidelity because you guys have a lot more expertise on the plan a and b.
me:33
H: 44
Married 5 years-together for 8
2nd M for both.
S14 & S12 from my 1st marriage
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 67
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 67 |
I wish I had answers for you. I'm in the same situation. Hope you'll get some responses.
together for 22 years
married for 18 years
affair discovered April 29/06
husband left June 29/06
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 936
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 936 |
if there is truely no affair, then the "plan A/plan B" thing may not be appropriate. you should probably try to talk to the Harleys about a specific plan for you.
it sounds like you're doing good things. You might want to stop the "one thing that you love about him" daily messages.
that sounds kinda over the top. Make it just a "wish him a good day" thing.
In the first part of my separation, it was really REALLY bad. wife would barely talk to me. only saw me to exchange the kids. After a month of me not pushing, it became more of a doable thing to talk normally.
This are still "bad". but they're better than they were.
It takes time, and consistancy. and not flooding them with more affection than they are willing to accept, I think.
ME: H, 35, married 9 years. 3 young sons
W:32, series of online "friendships"
1st D-day: some time 2004 (online EA) OM broke off, NC june 2005, but no recovery plan
2nd D-day: june 20th, 2006("ILY" to "friend"). W moved out next day.
Oct 2006, starts being around a 3rd guy instead. Mar 2007, stopped?
Current status: Separated. W filed D. in July 2006, served Dec 11th, my response filed Jan 8th
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