Short story -- Found out WH was seeing the OW again. Exposed with letters to his entire work, gave him a Plan B letter, he refused to move out of the house.


My WH just took the kids.

He's supposed to be working tonight ... the letters must have hit at work ... he was all dressed up and not in uniform. I went to pick up DS, and H was home, when he shouldn't have been, and had DD with him, too, when she should have been in school.

He told the kids to load up, and didn't say a word to me.

Walked past and left with them.

Just took them.

Oh, God......

I'm really panicking here ....

No one in his family knows where he is ....

He's not at work ....

I don't know where my kids are!!
What do I do???????????

Oh, God ... did I screw up with this exposure??????????

Call the police. Don't wait. Do you have an attorney? {{hugs}}

Hi AmIok,

You will be OK. Breathe and stay calm. He did this because he's mad he got caught.

Your children love you, him leaving with them tonight does not change that. All of this will have to be negotiated legally, I'm sure you'll be able to see your children.

Quote:

(his from a previous marriage, but I have raised them most of their lives).



You've raised them most of their lives, this really does matter! Breathe again!

None of this can be solved tonight. Please try to stay calm, can you stay with someone tonight? Do you have family around that could come by and stay with you?

Find a lawyer 1st thing Monday and go the legal route. Nothing has been descided yet. Please, please take care of yourself, and try to stay calm. I"m gone for the next two weeks, just accidentally caught your post before I left. I am very sorry for all you are going through. Please stay sharp, get tough, and take care - Dru

edited to add: If you fear he's going to do something VERY drastic, call the police.

Thanks, Faithful. I can't call the police, I have no legal right to the kids. They are his by his previous marriage.

I've raised them most of their lives, amd the only mom they know ... but I don't have a legal right to them.

Thank you, Dru.

I can't imagine the whole weekend without them .... not knowing where they are ....

I have an apointment with an attorney on Thursday, maybe I need to get into one earlier ....

Thank you for posting. I think I will go to my mom's tonight.

(((((AmIok)))))

Breathe!!

Relax!!!

We are here for you!

Have you contacted his folks yet? Any of his friends?

Stay Strong!

Your children love you. Just hang in there! I bet you hear from them sooner than later. Again, I am very sorry - Dru

I called all of his family, no one has heard from him.
All the friends that I can, too.

A couple of people went by OW's, just to check, and they weren't there.

I hate that there is nothing I can DO ....

How can he do this to me?
To them?

Hey, AmI... I've been reading your thread for a long time now, looking for more LA advice (I'm one of her many fans).

Remember, his choices are his and you are NOT RESPONSIBLE for them. He is choosing to take the kids and not let anyone know where he is. It's not your doing.

I don't have any other advice for you, other than that this day/night too will pass. I'm thinking about you and I even said a prayer (that has been a long time ago...)

LB

You still need to call the police.

If you even remotely suspect the/your children could be in danger, you call the police.

If you don't know where the/your children are, you call the police.

If you are just plain worried about the whereabouts of the/your children, you call the police.

Call the police first, ask the leagal questions later.

With prayers,

ed: Maybe call his ex and tell her he and the children are missing. Couldn't hurt.

Can one of his buddies at work help you out and try to help you find them? Do you have any idea of where he might have gone?

Has he shown any signs of instability? I hope they're ok. I'm glad that you can talk to his family. Can you go camp out with them over the weekend?

All you can do is believe that they are safe and do your best to stay calm. You have done the very best that you could, so don't second guess yourself now. You couldn't have predicted this. He's probably just angry and hurt and took off to lick his wounds. After the kids start complaining and wanting to come home, then maybe he'll turn around and come home. Maybe he took them somewhere fun to try to win them over and he'll come waltzing back home Monday and say he can do what he wants because they're his kids. Trust that they're doing something fun or they're at an amusement park or something this weekend. Keep that picture in your head, because it's probably what he's doing.

Everyone will be checking in with you over the weekend and we'll all be here to help you through this.

go the their school(s)

talk to the teachers and principals

tell them that your H took off with the kids & you are worried

ask them to call you if the kids show up so you know they are safe

Pep

if you have a credit card with him

call the company today

ask to be read the most recent transactions because you suspect someone my have gotten ahold of your numbers...

look for pizza delivery, burger joints, motels

that might give you an idea of where to start looking

Pep

drive to his parents home (if feasible) & see if he's there

Pep

My DD had a sleepover already planned for tonight, so I checked, and she is there. She said that DS went to spend the night at one of WH's friends from work (one who is firmly entrenched on H's 'side' and was also caught in adultery recently ... funny, huh?).

So at least I know they are safe, and know where they are.


Apparently WH had his uniform on when he took DD to her sleepover, so he must have been going in to work late tonight?

I am so sick right now and don't know what to do with myself.

if you feel that sick
call a friend and don't spend tonight alone

Pep

He is trying to punish you. Personally, I would go out with friends and have some fun. Don't worry, they will be back.

WH called.

He said that I can't pick the kids up tomorrow, that he also has places for them to go tomorrow night.

I said why can't they stay here, in their home, with me tomorrow night?

He just said "No, it's taken care of."

Then hung up.



Thanks, Pep -- good idea. I might go stay with a friend tonight. I don't know what else to do with myself.

My kids have been my life for so long, I don't know what to do right now ..... I should be watching a movie and eating cheap pizza with them right now -- Friday night is always our pizza and movie night, the three of us ... sometimes just two of us if one has a sleepover or something going on ... but it's always my fun night with them. The one night they get grounding rules bent, get to stay up a little late, get to eat in the living room in front of a movie .... don't have to eat any vegetables ....

It's been a long time since I've had to figure out how to get myself through a friday night alone.

-AmI. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/teary.gif" alt="" />

Yeah, I think you're right.

And this is definitely the button to push to "punish" me .... !!!!