<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

LMAO...Oh, the wisdom in LA's words...Can you see the magic pixie dust sparkle around them? LMAO

Hi, AmI, checking in on you and was wondering if you are taking a break from MB like I was? LOL

How are you and the kids? WH? What's going on in your world?

Are you still going to Divorce care? WHat'cha readin these days? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Lizzie .... wow, it's nice to know I'm not the only one .... I sometimes feel crazy, like we're sort of half headed in the right direction, but half not .... not sure if there's hope or if I even want to hope, and then I realize how MUCH better it is than it was when I DID have hope..... so confusing! Thanks for the empathy!!! What I wouldn't give for a little affection initiated by HIM right now .....

Mimi, I get what you're saying about the SF. I think that's been a big part of my problem, worrying about measuring up or competing with OW ... in a lot of ways, not just SF. I often have this idea floating around that she must be funnier, wittier, a better conversationalist, better at everything .... including in bed .... or else why would he have done this. Probably a typical BS kind of feeling, but still hard to fight off. So I like the idea of getting it in my head that I KNOW all that she has to LEARN. In ALL those areas, not just in bed. I'm really going to try to work on thinking that way. Thank you!

IHC, HI! Thanks for cheering me on!! And for the prayers .... I really, really appreciate it.

LA .... every time I want to whine and feel sorry for myself, you go and make me THINK. I try to be irritated by it, but then you go and be RIGHT and make SENSE and I can't even be mad at you! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> Yes, I'm still very much fighting the resopnse-based living habit. Wanting to pick and choose my actions and words based on what he will do .... or, worse, how I can MAKE him feel. I keep thinking I've learned this lesson, but obviously still have some practice to do.

Rin --- so glad to see you back around here a little bit! You seem to be doing so well. I'm so happy for you. I'm here, not taking a break .... just processing and thinking, and trying not to hog up all the pro's time when there's nothing urgent going on with me. It makes me so sad to see so many people here needing help!!



Today, WH took me out to lunch, and he initiated it! That was very nice. Then we had a lot of back-and-forth, kids and schedules and errands type of stuff going on tonight, so we've been playing phone tag and talking to each other all night. He just called a few minutes ago to tell me that he was headed to a call on "the street where we have some history" (where OW lives). So he told me who he was taking with him as backup (a girl he works with who lived with us through high school and is best friends with my sister). He even had me confirm with her that he'd been on the phone and trading voice mail with me all night, because she was worried that it might be OW, since we were talking so much and that hasn't been common for a LONG time.

Also, he just found out on Tuesday that he's taking his boss's spot at a week-long training in California right before Thanksgiving. They get home that Wednesday. I didn't like the timing, and had thrown out the idea of the kids and I going down there, too, for a little mini-vacation, and so we could play in the evenings when he got out of class. He was actually pretty excited about that idea, but when we started looking at plane tickets and school schedules and everything else, it just wasn't working.

Well, this is bio-mom's year to have the kids for the first half of Christmas break. She never bothers, but her mom does. So WH says since we won't have the kids, lets go somewhere fun for Christmas. If California sounds good, then we can go there, or Mexico or anywhere. A little romantic vacation .... just the two of us.

How do I reconcile all of this with him still keeping in contact with OW, because he "only has one ally, and (I) ain't it." ??????? I'm trying so hard to take this stuff at face value and enjoy and appreciate it, but I have to admit, my suspicions are pretty high.

He keeps my head spinning, that's for sure.


-AmI.

Did you see the thread ON SELF-RESPECT posted by WEAVER?

Find it and check it out if you get a chance.

Gaining a sense of SELF-RESPECT was so KEY for me..not only for myself but gaining the RESPECT of my H...

I came to know and believe that she is not/was not on my level.....I am like DIAMONDS..and she is like ROCKS... I forever will be his WIFE..she is his HO..Oh, did she HATE it when I called her this....because it was SOOOOO TRUE...

Same for you, AmI....

Don't compare yourself, particularly don't compare yourself unfavorably, to a woman who will stoop so low..so far in the gutter... as to try to destroy a family and to STEAL someone's H....

Your chose to allow himself to get caught up in WRONGDOING for whatever his reasons are but...but he did not choose to be with someone in ANY WAY SUPERIOR to you.

This is NOT THE SAME as if you had been divorced or you had died and then he got into a normal/ relationship with a good, decent woman. This is a woman who is willingly and knowingly participating with him in this deceit and betrayal....And on some level..he knows this...

Hang in there....

"How do I reconcile all of this with him still keeping in contact with OW, because he "only has one ally, and (I) ain't it." ???????"

Who are you reconciling with DH or WH? Now, which one said that? DH or WH?

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Hey, AmI...

BECAUSE you share your vents, whines and thoughts, feelings and perceptions...I get to help you trace them. Not me telling you you're wrong at any point...just asking you if this might be giving you some of them, and what do you think.

Self-pity isn't what it looks like on the outside...it is feeling bad to our self-image, not self...self doesn't need pity, even compassion...I promise...so when you feel done-to, which gives you a powerless (angry/sad) feeling...then you'll know you're in self-image, not self.

And you just be as angry with me as you want for relentlessly posting to you...'cuz I will love you anyway.

Heehee.

Please tell me if those words which are like a burr under your heart saddle...of OW being the ally and you being the enemy...does that burr come from you sensing the areas where you did make WH your enemy...or even your H? Reading Hendrix really shined a light on where I did this...had to...to continue living a manipulative, earning, punishing life. Really getting to my power of choosing to see DH as my enemy (when I felt lonely, ignored, rejected)....and Hendrix says, how natural that is...of course!

What we do when we are unaware looks silly to us when we ARE aware...and you're aware...very aware, AmI. Welcome to daylight...flip what you feel over...not him doing it from his words...you feeling it and where it might resonate.

Helps you leave his stuff over there...'cuz, AmI? He's not ACTING like your enemy...and you can still see him as one, right?

Even WS's aren't enemies to us...they are, however, enemies of our marriage...which is easy to confuse. I know I did. Separate the actions from the self...his perspective from yours, and sit in the knowledge of all the signals you have are about you...and go there. Take me with you! Please?

How's the urge to mother going? Are you staying aware of your fixit urge? The whole California trip...which I perceived as being a let down to your H...because what isn't easy, or smooth can feel overwhelming...too much in his life may be feeling that way (as the wayward state of mind for me was)...and his effort to work-around...I see as a sign of support, of his adult, peeking through, when he feels childish.

Think in the future when your WH is fully FWH and he hears those words in his head...making you his enemy...how much that will slice his insides with shame and guilt. Then see how much you hurt, feel anger from the pain and fear him always believing (child sign)...see if it settles, wills itself to wait, to know...even as I made my DH my enemy, so did he...and Hendrix says it's a rational thing, long before infidelity (an obvious enemy) because we chose our mates to be our ultimate caretakers...to give us all we wanted, every need met, effortlessly (because of who they are) and we feel robbed when after years of trying to have this done for us, we see them as capable of it and not doing it, withholding and punishing us...sure, the all or nothing is there...either the ultimate caretaker or the enemy...meanwhile, humans live in between.

How would right now feel if your H didn't have an A...and still saw you as his enemy? Because you weren't filling every crack, fracture and hole he had? Funny how being excellent fixers comes back to bite us hard, isn't it? Well, fix THIS!

Just about the time we realize fixing is abusive and disrespectful.

Gotta laugh. Let yourself laugh long and hard and hug irony and kiss paradoxical commandments. They'll get you through to that place where you will share from the joy of being, I promise.

All that smoothing, fixing, enabling...gets us to where it doesn't work (never really did) and respect can walk in, finally, when all those beliefs are broken.

Like your WH...know yourself where you want the hurry up in your life...hurry up and stop hurting, fearing (is that reasonable? Aren't we going to experience those at different levels all our lives?), feeling frustrated and resentful...get to happy, smooth, balanced, painfree?

Wishful child...know your own intimately...you'll see it better in others when you do...and you will halve your pain and fear by doing so...because you won't perceive anything the same way as you did when you looked out and acted on your fear and pain.

Rin asks a great question...gives incredible support...straight from her very straight and loving heart...so do so many others here...and I look forward to your answer.

To me, it seems easy for you to do the same for Rin and others, and I wonder...if you have a belief that says...spread good, hide bad...instead of "share all"?

LA

I just got the following e-mail from my former pastor. This is the man who really led me to Christ. I was fresh out of college, and decided to join a church to make business contacts. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> I'd grown up in church, went through confirmation and communion and all that stuff .... but it never really clicked with me, never meant anything, until I joined this church. The pastor and his wife were like surrogate parents to me, and that's where I was saved.

About the same time that I moved away from Denver, he retired. He did come over here to do our wedding, though, which meant SO much to me!! Then he and his wife started traveling and doing lots of long trips to Africa and Israel, where their sons are missionaries. And I got caught up in mom and wife life, and we lost touch.

Until I just got this e-mail from him today.



Dear AmIok,

For some reason, you are on my mind this morning. It's been years since seeing you at your wedding, and I wonder if you need prayer for something.

Love in Jesus,

Pastor and his DW


Wow.
I don't even know what else to say. That simple of an e-mail, and it meant so much to me. I'm totally floored. Wow.

I started writing these responses earlier, but then got side-tracked by that e-mail .... so I'm trying to pick back up, now.


SELF-RESPECT ... yep, that's a big one that I need some major work on. It's amazing how fast that has gone down the toilet.

It's really hard to not compare myself. It's hard to let all this just be his -- his choice and not about me. There's still a huge part of me that thinks I must have failed him or driven him to this or I wasn't good enough at something .... probably same stuff most BS's feel. That's been one of the hardest things for me to learn, and I have to keep reminding myself all the time.

It seems so basic, like I should have already gotten this right by now .... but it's still a struggle


Whose actions am I trying to reconcile ... I think he's still fully W. As long as he continues to use this excuse to keep in contact with her, I just can't think he's anything other than W. Maybe that's too harsh? I don't know. I guess it's just hard to make sense of the good actions -- and I do notice them -- when he's still W, and still in regular contact with her.


LA, I LOVE that you relentlessly post to me!! I wish I could be mad when you make me think all the time when I'd rather just forget sometimes. But I know that it really would NOT be easier to just shut off my brain and go back to the comfortable old habits. Although sometimes I try pretty hard!

On OW being the ally and me being the enemy, all being related to old resentments and old times when H and I were enemies .... I can look back and think of lots of times when we were working against each other, butting heads, working around each other .... manipulating. I didn't really ever think of it that way before. I thought I was taking care of things. Even when I knew he wouldn't like it and I did it anyway, because obviously I knew better. Pretty sick, huh? And it was a two-way street.

But against the world, we were one. We were a great team. I think that's what really bothers me about the ally/enemy thing. This is the one place where she HAS taken my place, and is the person in his corner -- which he has firmly thrown me out of. I think that's the burr of the enemy/ally stuff. And often I think I did it to myself by sending those letters. I still go back and forth on whether I should have done that or not.

Mothering, smothing, fixing .... very hard to break. I'm trying. And at least usually noticing when I'm doing it. I think reminding myself that it's really just disrespectful and not as noble as I want to think I am .... that helps. It's still my automatic response, though.

"Spread good, hide bad...instead of "share all"?" LOL .... how are you so good at having me pegged???

How come I can 'get' all these concepts ... conceptually .... but am having such a hard time putting them into practice? Making them real for me????

-AmI.

The IA is cleared!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There is so much craziness around all this, and I'll post more details later. But here's the quick and dirty short verion ....

The IA is cleared, and HAS BEEN SINCE OCTOBER 5!!!!!!!!!!! WH has known for about a week, but just told me this morning. He's furious about them not informing him and leaving him hanging for an additional month!

WH said the last time he talked to OW was that day to tell her he was cleared. He said she has been texting and calling him ever since, but he is not responding. She finally texted him tonight that she would mail him the stuff he'd left at her house, and he didn't have to contact her.

SOOOOOOOOOO much more to all this, and I'll have to get the details out later ..... but those are the HUGE points.


-AmI.

I hope that he can maintain NC with her. He really does seem to be making an honest effort to fix things. So... now you have to help to put an environment in place that gives you both the best chance. When is your next appt't with SH?

I think what your H needs is a plan, steps to take, things he can do. As long as he feels like he has a way to fix things, he'll probably keep trying. He really needs to believe that there's hope and that you'll give him a chance and truly forgive him. And I think the fact that he feels betrayed too, gives him something to work with -- to feel that he has to forgive you too and that he's not the only one who was in the wrong. I know that's screwy thinking, but it's something to work with too.

You've come such a long way. I do think that you have the chance to actually have a better marriage than before and that you and your H can both grow and change. There's not a whole lot of people you can say that about. So, find pride and comfort in that.

AmI, THIS WAS MY ISSUE, TOO. Steve H. called me on this. It's called being SELF-RIGHTEOUS. It is also DISRESPECTFUL. I've learned that men want to be RESPECTED moreso than being LOVED...from the book LOVE AND RESPECT by Eggerichs. In my situation, it led my H to turn to the OW for ADMIRATION and thereby RESPECT.



WOW!! This is what my H wanted and how we are now with POJA. He says this almost daily as we are working on some important PROJECTS. "Who can win against us when we are working like this as a TEAM?" I think this is KEY, AmI. You are onto something.



Still is for me, AmI. LA, has helped me with this, too. You are right. It is so AUTOMATIC. Just yesterday I apologized to my H for OVERSTEPPING. It makes him feel inadequate with me making the assumption that I have to do this or that because he CAN'T. Steve H. told me that "YOU HAVE TO PRACTICE"..It's like a MUSCLE that has to be developed, AmI because it is SOOOO AUTOMATIC for us. I thought that I was doing it out of LOVE...but it does not FEEL LOVING to those we do this too....especially the MENFOLK in our lives...my sons who are young men are also wanting me to step back...



Here you go, smart woman that you are!! PRACTICE..PRACTICE...PRACTICE....and then it will seem MORE REAL...But it may remain a STRUGGLE for awhile...

Like the other poster says, you should feel really ENCOURAGED about your future as a couple...

YOU'VE GOT IT, AmI..now it takes putting it all into PRACTICE...

LA..WE LOVE YA....

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Ami... you are doing very well. I am happy that the IA crisis has been put aside.
Now, what I am not so thrilled with is that your H has decided that he wouldn't tell you for 1 entire week about something so damn important. He can be a knucklehead sometimes.
You are right AmI... he is a WH still... until he proves otherwise. A NC letter is important now. Also, if there is any chance of him seeing her at his workplace, he is going to need to change jobs... NC means NC. I am afraid that if he sees her in any way, that the A could rekindle at a later time... or never really go away.
The first steps are a firm NC letter... changing his email addresses and cell phone number... no more text messages.
A call to SH is in order... but I think it is time for you to start demanding.... yes, that can be a bad word around here.... that your H returns while kicking the OW to the curb. Remember what brought about this change with your H was the "freak out" that you had that night. He is not someone that respects weakness in anyway. Don't show him any. Be strong... be loving and be fair.
STD testing.... I think I remember you saying that was coming up. I hope that goes well.
And always remember AmI... you are not to blame for this... not one speck. You are better than that pos he decided to drop undies with. It is a hard lesson for the BS to learn... but you are so much better than her.
In the NC letter, tell her to throw out the stuff he left at her house. You don't need or want whatever it is poluting your home.
You are in my thoughts.
MEDC

We have a call set with SH for Monday. I'm very thankful for the timing.

He talked last night about changing his cell number. Kind of glossed over it, but I think it's addressable.

Yes, he feels like he has somehting to forgive, and pretty much equates the two in terms of severity.

So we have a LOT of work to do, but I think we're at least pointed in the same direction now. He said "whether this makes it or not, it needs to be on it's own and without the interference of a third party."

-AmI.

As I was just saying, remember that he remains FOGGY and try not to focus on HIS WORDS...

I agree with MEDC, in that, your evidencing your SELF-RESPECT was KEY in your situation, too.

As I think about your situation, being RESPECTED by you seems to be a MAJOR NEED of your H's just like it is my H. That's the ADMIRATION NEED.

So, he likely finds your DEMAND (I know, not a great word) for RESPECT extremely ADMIRABLE and LOVEABLE...

Passing on this AWARENESS that has been CRUCIAL in my PERSONAL and in our MARITAL RECOVERY.....

Where I slightly disagree is that I've learned that I don't have to YELL or SCREAM to DEMAND (yes, I know) RESPECT. A QUIET voice sometimes works even better...." I need for you, to....I find this or that unacceptable..."SIMPLE YET POWERFUL STATEMENTS are necessary for the FOGGY FWS....

AmI,

I see you quickly understood God's message to you from your former pastor. Touched my heart, as well, because this is how God's always there...the angel wing cloud in the sky with you on my mind...and his bravery in sharing with you when you need it so much...God's there. He doesn't leave. And he leaves amazing signs of his connection to you everywhere. You're picking them up. Rejoice!

"It's really hard to not compare myself. It's hard to let all this just be his -- his choice and not about me. There's still a huge part of me that thinks I must have failed him or driven him to this or I wasn't good enough at something .... probably same stuff most BS's feel. That's been one of the hardest things for me to learn, and I have to keep reminding myself all the time.

It seems so basic, like I should have already gotten this right by now .... but it's still a struggle "

What if you've struggled with this your whole life...a core hurt, a core belief...from childhood? If you believed you MADE your parents angry, made them discipline you, made them hurt you...well, no wonder you have an automatic belief you could make your H betray and harm you...what if you struggling to really see where your human limits are is what you've been dying to do all along...to get to the freedom of your true responsibility, to love more fully, in freedom? Would that be worth the struggle?

Why judge how hard or easy something is? "It seems so basic"? Well, all of life is basic...when taken as a whole, it's complicated...each strand IS basic...each layer. Take this one strand and be aware, not judging, of yourself. Acceptance begins change...accepting what we cannot change...and knowing the difference. You know you can change your beliefs...once you get to them. They were reasonable at the time you formed or took them from your parents...they are not reasonable as an adult...when you're the folks.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

About being our enemies in our marriage...remember, before that, we were friends, and then not, and then we were again...we remained on the same team...your point identified well the crushing blow of A's...like our spouses leave for another team...which is why we feel replaced. We aren't. We cannot be. Whom you loved enough to see as an enemy (takes a lot of trust to mistreat our spouses, in a twisted way), remains loved. Which is why I asked you to choose to believe your WH loved you all along...not a fantasy.

Knowing we reconnect, even after believing we were enemies for a time...that is the key to knowing recovery. And what your last post says, quoting your H...your real H...is HUGE!! Realization that the OW isn't on the team...seeing that influence...well, how awesome is that? For me, when DH got that, I felt a lot of my fear fall away.

It comes back. Did for me...up and down...because contact is influence...out of your control...only in his. Support his great choices, the ones which protect your marriage, even if he doesn't FEEL like protecting YOU just yet...or himself. He did not know his power before...how much he affected everything with his choices...show him the affects now.

Keep sharing your stuff...hug him when he's tremendous, envelope him in your momentary relief...express your deepest gratitude out loud and in affection...unleash your love, AmI, through enforcing healthy boundaries and living in truth.

When he talked about changing his cell, "I support you in your choice to do that."

Listen and repeat...no contact would be something to be supported, not demanded...eliminating influence...your choice to see it as an act of honesty and recovery...what blessings! Let your joy shine...and share your feelings, 'k?

Relentlessly posting to you, eh? Hmmm.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

((((AmI)))) I don't peg you well...I peg myself. You just happen to be part of me. LOL.

(((Mimimeister))) I see you doing that happy dance with AmI...taking these moments, which I believe, we secretly do not believe will come...and knowing they really do...to focus on what matters...friendship ROCKS!

LA

Ami- How was your session with Steve? Been waiting all day to find out.

Marflow

PS. Had to change my name

Well, well, Well, AmI...

Things sound like they are going well...I just wanted to pop in and let you know I was thinking about you!

I'm very happy for you!

Wow, LA can throw some stuff out there for us to think about can't she? I know that I enjoy it and LOL...actually miss it...LMAO

Well, I'll update soon! Things have been pretty relaxed around my house! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Sorry to have been MIA. I've been knocked out by a heck of a bug, it has not been fun at all.

Anyway, here's a recap of the SH appt. I'll try to get some decent replies up later.


SH asked for a recap, and WH told him about the IA being cleared and the communication that he'd had with OW after that, and that he'd had absolutely no contact with her since we had talked. He said that he knew that ANY contact at all with her was dangerous and was "crossing the line", and so he would not have anything at all to do with her.

SH said that was exactly what he would have told WH, and he thought it sounds like WH knows that he has a serious vulnerability there. He asked me how I felt about it, and if I believed WH. I said that yes, I believe what he has said about contact right now, but that we've also been to this place before. So I believe that WH currently feels strongly about not having any contact with her whatsoever, but that I believed he felt that way last time, too.

SH said that was understandable, so he talked to WH and said that, as an act of care, he wanted WH to regularly sit down with me and talk about how he was doing in the area of staying away from her, not having contact with her, etc. He wants this to happen on a regular basis, until I decide I don't need it anymore. He asked if WH could do that, and WH said he thought that he could, and that he thought he already was doing that. He asked if I thought that would help. I said yes, but that right now, WH seems to feel like it's punishment, and does it when he gets around to it, and it's awful for him. I told him about the last time, when WH told me about the IA being over, and the contact he'd had with her in that week in-between. I said I was frustrated that he hadn't been talking to me about that all along. That I wanted us to get back to being a team, and right now it is definitely not that way.

WH said he didn't think we'd ever get back to being a team, that I had taken things he had told me in confidence, beyond just the A, and that "at least 9 people at work now know about that" (I sent the letters to 9 people in his chain of command). He kept going, and said that everyone knows more about his business than he does, and he thinks that I tell everyone everything. So when he talks to me now, he censors things to just what he wants the whole world to know.

(ouch)

SH said that we couldn't get into that habit, that we're trying to learn how to build trust and intimacy here, and it wasn't smart to get in the habit of hiding things or keeping secrets, that that wasn't going to help us build trust. That it wasn't an option for the long-term, and that this will be something that we'll have to work on.


Then we talked about our ENQ's. The purpoes, the idea behind them, what they'd be for, etc. SH gave us an assignment for specifically how to share them with each other. He was pretty detailed about that, and it took a while.


He asked us how much time we've been spending together, and it's not much, largely due to WH's schedule. SH said we need to work very hard at maintaining a sense of connectedness when the work schedule is bad, and especially fo the next week, while WH is in California for his training. We both agreed.


So, SH was re-capping our homework -- the ENQ's, and WH regularly sitting me down to update me on his progress to prevent contact with OW, to help me re-build some of my trust in WH. He asked if we had any questions, and I said yeah -- how do **I** start re-building some of WH's trust -- he has his assignment, so what is mine. That I could understand WH's feeling about the lettters, and what did I need to do to start building up my side of things.

SH asked WH what he'd need in order for me to do that. WH said he didn't know, that he was afraid that I'd take up his battle and file a greivance against the IA officer for not informing WH soon enough about the IA being dismissed. Or that I'd contact OW, just to make sure that she stays away from him. Or that I'd get worried about trusting him while he's at this training next week and call his boss and IA and everyone else and tell them they shouldn't have sent him while we're at such a wierd spot, etc. And then he said "we're not here because of the letters, we're here because of what I did." But he was still pretty frustrated and worked up about it.

So SH asked if I do the same thing that he had WH doing -- basically sitting him down on a regular basis and updating him on my plan and progress to not expose his secrets to the world, would that help. And WH said yes, that would probably be a good start. (And now I went and posted it all on a public board.... probably NOT the best start, huh???)

So ... that's where we are right now. We have assignemnts, and we'll kind of have to ease into them, because WH is going to be away at training for the next week, then it's Thanksgiving.

But it is starting to feel better .... a little more hopeful, a little more possible. Things around the house are easy and fun and relaxed. Shallow, except for the calls with SH, but comfortable. Makes it much nicer to come home at night, at least.

And that's about it....

I'll try to catch up more later.

-AmI.

LA ---

"Relentlessly posting to you, eh? Hmmm."

Really hoping that didn't come across wrong .... I was quoting you!!

You can post to me as relentlessly as you want. I like it!!!
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Hi, AmI...

I'm really exciting about the direction that you and WH are headed in. I see a huge improvement in his attitude.

My DH said to me "Everyone has a different bottom that they have to hit!" DH did hit his bottom...NC remains with letter and number change..."created a huge problem for him and it wasn't worth it!" Meaning OW, now for other purposes we haven't changed his number...but things are going great and we are going away for the weekend... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

F will be staying at the sitters!

I'll let you think about your sitch with that one. But please no pondering and getting down... LMAO <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Keep up the aweSOME work!