I have no clue if I should post this here or a different thread. If my post should be somewhere else then please let me know.

I just have to say that I'm still learning to let it go and leave it in the past. Per some advice here I've stopped hounding H about the encounter. I've stopped with the 20 questions because I've realized that him coming completely clean, being willing to answer my gruesome questions, and his ACTIONS have been astounding!

Every now and then I have a moment...and he agreed that when I had a moment like that to call him at anytime no matter where he or I may be to just call him. I called him earlier today and didn't even have to say a word. He heard it in my voice. Unfortunately he was at work and in a deep conversation with his boss and asked that he call me back...when he called me back he said this, "Hi love of my life. I thought that I heart some pain in your voice, some emotion, some insecurities. Is there anything I can say to make you feel special like you are?" I WAS FLOORED! I just started crying on the phone.

A few seconds went by and he said, "Talk to me. Tell me what's on your mind. Do you have another question? My ear is all yours...right along with my heart and never ending love." I just giggled...and cried! He's so sweet.

He asked if I was having a 'moment' when I called and I said that yes I was. He didn't ask what about and I didn't mention it...because we just know. He understands that these moments kill me at times and I'm working through them...but for him to work with me and be so sensitive and so well synchronized...my heart was so filled with warmth and love and the tears that came out of my eyes were pure happiness! He asked if I was ok (because I was crying) and I told him, "Yes, I'm ok now. I just needed to hear your voice and hear you say something to bring me out of the moment. And you did...you did it so well." He asked why I was still crying, "I'm just emotional because of how sensitive you are to me." He just said, "I always have been. I want us to be together forever and if that means that I need to get more mushy and extra sensitive then so be it. I have no shame in it...you are the love of my life and I'll do anything for you to understand that fully someday."

My heart is singing right now...and I just needed to share. I know that some of you are still going through the grief...this is a long process, I'm still grieving to this day. But for those that are in recovery and are working together for a common goal...it actually does get better!!

I still have my moments...but it helps to have a loving H by my side. Falling in love with each other everyday is far exceeding my problems with the past. Now if I could just leave it in the past! If you have insight on THAT I'm all ears! LOL

Korlis

Your post brought tears to my eyes. I still have those days and yet I don`t ask anymore maybe Im scared to bring it all back up. Your H is wonderful in helping and noticing you are having a bad day. You won`t forget the past but both of you can make your marriage better then ever. He sounds great. Just enjoy what you have now and keep it going. God Bless.

Korlis,

It is so nice to hear your story. It gives me hope. I really have very little at this point. Is is nice to hear that sometimes things can work out.

Thanks

Thanks for your responses. It really brought a huge smile to my face knowing that my story may have helped someone see some light at the end of the VERY dark tunnel.

He is wonderful. I feel bad at times as I'm an emotional wreck and he's constantly consoleing me. My worst times are when we lay down to go to sleep. I cry every night, but I turn over so I don't bother him. He NEVER misses it. He's so in tune with me now, more so than ever before, and he just feels when I'm upset. It's truly amazing to me. I can't even hide my sadness.

Hang in there everyone. I have bad times, a LOT here lately, but I know that it will lessen over time and soon just be a history lesson. It's a long road but it's NOT a dead end. Work together, ebb and flow, and you will both be happier in the end.

Take care.
Kor