Yes, I used the word poop. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Did she really smell like that? Well....since she claimed there was poop on the WS' dirty laundry (which there wasn't)....on only has to imagine and welp..... I imagined.

U C, I used the sense of smell as a tool against the A. Remember the WS' senses are warped. Talking to him wasn't working, crying wasn't working, pleading wasn't working. listening wasn't working, it wasn't pleasant to even share a meal with such a creature, he wasn't much to look at (all grumpy, angry and such)....so that left the 1 sense..... of smell. I planted the idea that he smelled. Did he literally smell? No. Did the A have a stench on him? Yes. Remember smell is based on how the brain interprets what info it receives......so that coupled with the fact that the A stunk (in my mind), the WS stunk 'cuz he was hanging around an OW who stunk by her part of the A. It proved to be a useful tool and sure messed up the WS' mind for quite a while. LOL!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Let's just say certain smells are triggers. At one point, the disconbobbled WS told me the OW used a soap with olive oil and it was good to for the skin....he recommended I try that brand of soap. Now you can imagine what unpleasant memories that kind of soap brings to my mind. STINKY ONES!!! Not the soaps fault....just a trigger 'cuz of the A. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

L.

Peachy,

He remembered that trip? Wow. He was sooo little. Time, patience. It all comes around to bite the WS where it hurts. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

L.

Huh???? Who was that dig aimed at? YOU the family laundress... or your skid marked H?

My particular phobia was OW`s tatoos. She was literally covered head to toe in them. Big ugly biker tatoos. She even had 666 tatooed on the baseline of her hair at the nape of her neck. Charming eh?

I have never been a fan of tatoos.. To me tatoos of that nature have always left me with the impression that the tatooee doesn`t bathe. I don`t know why I think that but I automatically think that the tatooee is not clean. I don`t have a problem with one or two "cute" tatoos but the big ugly ones gross me out. Acccording to H she had them EVERYWHERE. H likes tatoos.

OW told H that she was trying con medicare into paying to remove her tatoos. HILARIOUS!!!! She claimed that she was at a party, was given some kind of drug to knock her out and while she was out the party goers tatooed her against her will. Wow that must have been some party.

Anyway H didn`t use a condom and in his off the wall fogese claimed that I didn`t have to worry about STD`s.

I look back at all this now and I am still amazed.

My older son figured out who ONS was...and he is now as equally revolted by tatoos as I am. Younger son knows nothing and remains fascinated by tatoos.

I didn`t think H stunk but I did think he was crawling with germs.

Orchid,

I was interested in reading the basics about your situation: the length of the affair, the time of discovery, attempts to reconcile, successes and failures with your plan of action, etc.

And, of course, how you have dealt with the problems of divorce when children are involved.

One more thing...cat poop was a trigger for me for a long time.

I am a cat lover, have always had cats and I take very good care of them. I keep them combed, well fed and their litter box clean. My cats always use the litter box.

The ONS OW after sleeping with my H and being rebuffed by him turned her attention to my H`s married cousin. She succeed in breaking up his M. Anyway I had suspicions about the ONS but no proof so when H`s cousin proposed coming to visit our home with the OW I allowed it. I wanted to see her and my H up close together to examine their behaviour, see if there were any further clues.

I didn`t spot ANYTHING between H and the OW.

But my cats did. Everytime the OW was on a our home my cats would take a crap in a spot right near OW. It was REALLY weird. If OW was sitting in a chair I would get a whiff of "poop", I would think it was coming from her....I would discreetly investigate and find it was fresh cat doody right behind the chair. This happened EVERYTIME OW was in our home. My cats seemed to have some sort of psychic power and KNEW where the OW was going to park it in advance. And they made sure there would be a FRESH pile within inches of her. They never did this before. They have never done this since.

This made sound weird but after this happened a few times i became even MORE convinced there was something evil about her because my cats sensed it. They indicated the situation to me in a way I couldn`t possibly miss.

Ok you guys and the cats. I am not a cat lover and my FWW has a cat.

One of the worst things about her A was I sprained my ankle severely and ended up on crutches for over a week while she was spending time with OM. Then I was in a brace for another week.

Well her cat gets fleas and now I can barely walk and we have fleas everywhere. I was by myself so I decided the only thing I could do was buy that flea powder and put it in the carpet. I arranged for the neighbor to keep the cat until I was mobile enough to vacuum the powder up. During vacuuming that stuff goes everywhere. I am breathing in the dust from it with a bandana over my face. Looked like a one legged train robber. I then had to dust all the furniture and eventually when I could put weight on my ankle without being in severe pain I fogged the place.

I convey the story to my FWW and she didn't ask how I was doing she asked how the cat was doing. I told her the cat was at the neighbors house and she said ok as long as the cat is ok.

That's my cat story. LOL

Dog lovers are guilty of this sort of thing too, my H loves his dogs as much as I love my cats. Everyday when he gets home the dogs get the first greeting. He also spends ALOT of time grooming them, walking them. training them. When he`s watching TV he`ll be petting one of them, telling her what a pretty girl she is.....ect. I don`t get that much attention. I get attention but not as much as the dogs.

Hiker,

Ok, here's the skinny:

1. No D. Got close but no D.

2. d/d Nov 2000

3. A lasted from Aug 2000 - Aug 2003.

4. False recoveries: At least 7.

5. POA (plan of action): Plan A and B. Plan A the WS until 1st Saturday in March 2001. It stopped at about 7:21am. Plan B went into effect that week (I think).

6. Failure:
A. Plan A a WS too long. Should have gone to plan B after 1 month. But I was still in shock and my mind and heart didn't sync up until that Saturday morning in March 2001 (thank-you George Clooney). <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
B. Didn't contact OW's H. Thought he was into something weird like drugs or something. He was elusive and I believed the babble.
C. Tried to reason with the OW. Boy was I dumb. I thought she was human. Found out her vocabulary was worse than a drunken sailor and her mind was not of this world. Still isn't.
D. Should have filed an RO against her after she threatened to have me fired.
E. Should have contested her false RO charges in court and talked about how she wasn't the victim if she was sending nude pictures of her body parts over the internet an advertising on Adult Friend Finders.com.
F. Should have exposed her to her family. Her mother was quite elderly and I felt bad if she got ill over her daughter's infidelity exposure.

Successes:
A. Survived the A.
B. Found closure
C. Got my mind and heart in sync
D. Learned how to successfully use RB. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
E. Let H earn his way back to our family and into our hearts.
F. Helped some learn to survive.
G. Gave back a bit of the help given to me.
H. Became a better person.
I. Can id a WS and OP closer than 30 paces.
J. Sucessfuly served to RO paperwork to a WS and a stupid neighbor (my co-worker's neighbor).

Guess there's more but is that enough? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

L.

Yes, thank you. Three years! Ugh.

And you have helped many on this forum, including me.