How do you know that counseling will not work?

is there an online quiz? ha ha.

I'm tired of telling him the same stuff over and over with him not even trying to work on it. He says he will try, but it's just words.

When you've become the spouse you've promised to be, eliminated every love buster, and can find no complaints from him about your efforts to meet his needs and he is still unwilling to attempt to meet your needs, then I believe you have earned the right to escalate your efforts to send your message by initiating a controlled seperation and perhaps ultimately divorce.

My personal belief is that when you choose to marry, you make a vow to your spouse regarding your behavior before God. So keeping my word to my spouse and to God are very important to me, and I want to do nothing that indicates that I take my vow lightly.

The vow I spoke did not indicate that I would stay unless I was unhappy, unfufilled, etc. It was a promise of my behavior, and I was bound by that promise.

Perhaps you see your vow differently, marriage being something you are entitled to.

The way I see, you promised to meet his needs, period. So I suggest that you concentrate on meeting his needs, and setting the example.

It is much easier to encourage people to change if you are able to set the example and demonstrate that the change is in their best interest.

We got married... in a courthouse <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> he didn't even tell his parents for 2 years. I had to beg to have my family come. Or to even tell my family. He wanted tokeep it a secret.

I told him when we get past this, we need to renew our vows the right way, in real wedding.