|
|
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 11
Junior Member
|
|
Junior Member
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 11 |
I am very much new here and hope I posted this in a right place. I am wondering for all you folks who have been through all the stages and are so far so good, is there ever a time out of the blue or otherwise where your WS is sincerely remorseful? I spend free time "fantasizing" my WH is crying that he is so sorry and can never thank me enough for not giving up on him. In my daydreams he says that he almost lost the best thing that ever happened to him, he will love me forever, and never hurt me again.. Goodness am I just dreaming? Its sort of easy for me to deposit in his LB right now, not be hurtful etc, b/c I WANT to be a wonderful wife, lover and friend to him right now. I just want him to realize one day all those great things I am. (I wasn't so nice before A) Please tell me this may happen one day, I know it may be a couple years, but someday??
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 6,025
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 6,025 |
Yes
In my sitch it has all happened just as you described.
But I didn't MAKE it happen
I might have lead the recovery at the outset
But
Mrs.W quickly came around to repentence
She did the work and processed her chit
She owned it & never wavered owning it
She earned her "F" (as in FORMER WW)
I'm very proud of her
Mr. Wondering
p.s. - YOU just can't allow it to be swept under the rug and/or allow or participate in conflict avoiding. You own your chit and process your stuff too. Try to do it...ALL... TOGETHER.
FBH(me)-51 FWW-49 (MrsWondering)
DD19 DS 22 Dday-2005-Recovered
"agree to disagree" = Used when one wants to reject the objective reality of the situation and hopefully replace it with their own.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464 |
Agree with Mr W Mari. When was your d-day? This generally takes time.
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 6,316
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 6,316 |
Agree with Mr W Mari. -BigKahuna Well thank you Big K...LOL...I didn't realize that I had made amends to you too for my past sleazy behavior...<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Yes, Mari it is a process...it doesn't come overnight, but it most definately can happen, there is much hope to be had! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> GREAT POST Mr. W...It is so wonderful to hear you speak about me in this way...Again, you awe me... Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 311
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 311 |
Mari- as a FWW (former wandering wife), yes, I have cried and begged forgiveness. I am sincerely remorseful. It may take awhile to get out of the fog and the addiction, but if he does that, it is true remorse, imho. I realized pretty quickly that my EA was ridiculous and selfish. For others it is much harder. So just keep doing what you're doing, and you will get there, I have faith.
Me FWW 36
BH 50
D-day 1 2/18/06
D-day 2 3/28/06 (same EA)
NC 3/28/06 and going strong
7 total children
Mine/ours live with us
DS 15
DD 12
DD 21 months
"With all it's shams, lies, and broken dreams, life is still wonderful. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy."
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 11
Junior Member
|
|
Junior Member
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 11 |
Thank-you all so much for sharing! This site is hope for me. I know there are no promises in the end, but I need to stay positive.
Big Kahuna -
DDay - 8/16/06
Me- 30
WH- 29
DD- 5
I posted my "classic story" in this thread if anyone has any input.. I am still caring, loving and not being hurtful. I am careful not to force kisses, hugs, etc.. I haven't had hug since DDay, but I don't feel forcing the issue will do any good. SF is almost daily or every other day thing, which I hope is not hurting our situation. It feels good that he desires me and it seems to be the only closeness I get. WH is being open with his cell phone records, internet history, e-mail passwords although its difficult to look at without his animosity. OH - if you know of a good justifying statement of why I am doing this, please let me know! He did admit to me he tried to call her on Friday, but he said she brushed him off.. I emailed her straight away to let her know I knew. Its a set back for sure. His time is accounted for (between jobs) so I hope they haven't got together physically for about 3 weeks.
Just want to let you know that you all are a group of people that I truly relate with. My friends and some family (even his side) are in awe of my support of him. His mother (who we live with) is so grateful I am not giving up. Thank-you all again!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 8,344
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 8,344 |
Mari- as a FWW (former wandering wife), yes, I have cried and begged forgiveness. I am sincerely remorseful. It may take awhile to get out of the fog and the addiction, but if he does that, it is true remorse, imho. I realized pretty quickly that my EA was ridiculous and selfish. For others it is much harder. So just keep doing what you're doing, and you will get there, I have faith. The Wookie (my FWH) even now tearily tells me how much he loves me now and thanks me for not giving up on us. - Kimmy
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
|
|
|
|
1 members (Gregory Robinson),
942
guests, and
42
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,625
Posts2,323,524
Members72,035
| |
Most Online6,102
Jul 3rd, 2025
|
|
|
|
