the first thing out of my mouth was..."who is she?"

after it sunk in he asked me if i wanted him to leave. i told him "****** no, that would be too easy. i married you for better or worse and my worse just came.....yours is on the way!" then i left the house so i wouldnt kill him....

Wife acted suspiciously when a text message came into her phone - took her bag and phone to bedroom. I went and read it.

I read "**** you are such a passionate woman, I love you so much. Soon our dream will be a reality"

Does he send you many messages like this I asked? Why is he sending you messages like that I ask? She said "He loves me and I love him" and she walked out. (She was working that night fortunately)

Well, I discovered it on my own, and had to wait until he came home. It was denied twice, covered up once, then my thought when he admitted it was "Oh my GOD! WHY?!" I couldn't beleive that the one person that I always could count on could hurt me so deeply. Trust has always been a HUGE thing in our relationship since we both came from marriages where we were cheated on. I guess I was the only one that could hold up my end of the bargain.

"I hate you."

There really is such a thin line between love and hate. For that moment, I did hate him and love him. I just wanted to punch him as hard as I could, right in the stomach. Instead, I just cried.

SB

When he FINALLY admitted to sleeping with her (he had moved out months earlier and at this point was actually living with her) I started to cry.

He says to me "stop crying, I can't hadle it. You can do that when I leave."

Somehow I did stop. (WHY????? I should have let him see some emotion--but that darn fear was still with me strong).

Then I asked him when it started on the physical level.
He didn't remember when. Of course <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />.

Oh my god, you are kidding me??? No,?? you had sex with this person?? This is why you have been acting so strange & so mean?? I thought you were sick. omg do you love her? to which he said "i don't know, i think so. to which I fell on my face hysterically crying. He tried to pick me up and I couldn't breathe. I don't remember much after that b/c he packed and left.

I asked if he was cheating on me and he said that I kept digging and digging and asked again if I wanted to know. I said yes and he did too. I said "No, you didn't your lying to me." Then, immediately after that "I can't believe you just did that to me."

It was 3am after his surprise b-day party, and I had invited OW to it. He was very drunk!

LOL Surprise!

I got my confession by LD telephone call. I still remember it as if it were yesterday. My first feeling was "Am I dreaming? This can't be real. She has to be joking". She wasn't.

I do remember feeling an intense hatred for her. So powerfully overwhelming that it made me cry. It made me terribly sad to know that she had had so many ONS's and the affair. I can remember her words during that time period... how she didn't like doing that with me, or didn't like it when I kissed her there, or when I wanted to do something in particular... it wasn't me, it was just that she didn't like sex at all anymore...

I thought... Bullcrap... all of it. I even asked her, flat out: Why did you lie about all that? You probably didn't care one bit when it came to all of that, when it was any other man.

d/d came near midnight via reading a voicemail message. Needless to say, I was NOT sleepy so I decided to yank the then WS out of our bed to ask about WHO would tell my H '...I love you.'????

He claimed it was a friend. I asked what kind of friend is that? I didn't recognize her voice. Then he said it was a good friend, then best friend...then I got angry. Very angry. I said. What kind of GOOD friend would call someone else's H to say '....I love you'? He couldn't respond for quite a while. Then he said he was having an A. I felt like I had to reach deep down and yank it out of his soul. I ask him why his pants kept falling down out in public. LOL!!! He didn't understand what I meant. I said to have an A you have to drop your pants....you ain't doing it here so you must be dropping your pants in public. How shameful. My 1st reverse babble. Hm.... I had to reverse babble. It kept me from killing him. I was furious. No I didn't get violent. I kept it in. The daggers in my eyes were piercing enough. He couldn't look at me. He stormed out to his place of safety....his truck. I had been dialing the OW's # on redial. LOL!!! My head was spinning and I knew I need to get back in control and fast. The next morning, I called in the support troups. That night, I prayed real hard and by the next morning, it was easier to handle. I still cried but saw it was more important to keep him alive so we could survive through this mess. Being a widow would have been the easy way out. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

L.

Peter,

I remember this as if it was yesterday............it was Saturday, January 13th 2001, approx. 10 o'clock in the morning.

The postman came early that day and my husband was out working. (We have our own business)

Anyways, I got his cellphone bill and for some reason, I looked at it very closely this time and found a number on it that he had called or that called him...........VERY Often!

I knew who's number it was and suddenly it went BINGO in my head. I knew that something was NOT right and MANY things made sence in my mind now! They were having an affair.

I called my husband very calmly and said:
Good Morning Honey! Would you please buy some bread on your way home???

I thanked him and sweetly told him that we were at home waiting for him so that we could all eat breakfast together.

When he came home, I asked him to please come with me in the other room. I layed his cellphone bill on the table and asked him what was wrong???

He denied and said that she had marriage problems and that they talked alot about that. I calmly told him that I knew EVERYTHING and within a minute or two, he confessed and started to cry.

I pulled him gently over into my arms and rocked him like a baby. I held him and comforted him and told him that I loved him more than anything in the world.

I honestly don't have a clue what happened to the bread........and I don't know why I asked him to even buy some.........this must of been the shock.

bb

What stopped me was the orange shade of those prison jumpsuits. That shade doesn`t suit my skin tone. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I asked him why he didn't just leave me if he wanted a life with someone else.

I still believe that it would have been easier if he had.

Who

I asked if it was another man because the phone # I googled was a man's name.. I knew my husband wasn't gay but I was in shock

That's funny. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> When I talked to OW a few days after d-day and she knew the affair was over. SHe wanted to do some damage so she said, "you know that I'm not the first." I said "Yes I know, but you are the first woman he had an affair with."

Got Her!

Who

Wow, some of these responses are just heart-breaking and other are down-right funny. Thank you all for sharing your most painful experience.

Peter