On my husband's last birthday (Nov 2005) he received a card in the mail from his work. One of his co-workers signed it "Happy Birthday to my favorite sweetest ever" and wrote her name in a heart. Well I was more than unhappy and suspicious and he denied any relationship. COme to find out that she thought he was sweet because one day he left a plastic flower on her desk to cheer her up after having a bad day. I felt that if that was the reason he would of told me. He told me that he didn't tell me because he didn't want me to make a scene at his work. He ended up taking 2 polygraph tests to prove to me that he has been faithful, because I was going to leave. My problem is he didn't want to confront her. I did. But he didn't want to. She swears nothing ever happened and that he never even came on to her. He did always come home from work on time and had not gone out without me while he worked there. He did leave the company but months later I am still worried. Should I be? Am I just paranoid since he was kind to her and was her friend> Does this sound suspicious to you> ANy help would be appreciated. I am driving myself mad thinking that somehow the man I have been with for over 11 years did me wrong? Obssesive worry, maybe?

You have a husband who loves you enough to submit to two polygraphs OVER this....?????

WOW you should feel very blessed to have such a man in your life....

Look I bet in the years of working with co-workers..I have brought and left...

a type a candy one of them likes...
and left it one their desk..

exchanged Christmas gifts with colleages both male and female...

encourage my husband to send his female boss a gift now and then when something has happened in their life...

The fact that the girl wrote a heart and called him her sweetest sounds like the actions of a silly young girl...

heck when I was a silly young girl in my early twenties I know I made some music tapes for a married thirty something guy ....
probably NOT something I would do today...
but I have exchanged CD's I like with male co-workers....

You need to seriously look at your actions and behaviors...
what more can this guy do to prove himself to you..

cause it sounds like he has done more than enough...
and you are still not satisfied...

and this was a year ago...

yikes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ARK

Very maybe.

Are you hounding him over this?

I suggest you turn your worry into something positive that will kill two birds with one stone:

Absorb the info on this site about the Love Bank, find and implement the Emotional Needs questionaire, order the book His Needs/Her Needs (available in the bookstore on this site or just about any on-line bookseller) and strengthen your marriage.

EVEN IF his relationship with the work place sweetie was real, this is what you would do. It sounds like trust is lacking in your marriage, so you need to do this anyway.

Relax and be thankful.

JMHO