Hi everyone! Im new to the board. My husband and I have been married for 3 years. We have always been really super close. It took me a long time to trust him but I got to the point where I trusted him completely. Back in May, I started noticing him not showing me affection like he used to, which caused us problems and arguements. Then I caught him talking online to girls. (i spoke to one of them, and it was all just CHAT, nothing more and he swore on our kids' lives that nothing else happened). It turned into constant arguing. He told me he was having some emotional problems, stemming from child hood abuse and thought he needed some time away to clear his head, so he went to stay with a friend. It was only supposed to be for a few days. Within 2 weeks he got his own place. He just kept telling me that he didnt know if he wanted to be married and didnt know if he was still in love with me. He always loved me sooo much. He didnt just say it, he SHOWED it and i just couldnt believe that he really meant what he was saying. I could see the pain in his face. I could see him fighting back tears even when he was yelling at me. Every time we were together we were constantly bickering and arguing because we were both hurting so much. He finally told me that part of the problem was ME and my anger problem. I would get mad at him over stupid little things all the time. ...I started working on myself. Working on self esteem issues that were causing me anger problems. I kept trying to give him the benefit of the doubt because of the hurt I saw in him. I know him better than anyone else! Finally 2 1/2 weeks ago, I was trying to talk him into marriage counseling, and he wouldnt have anything to do with it, and he started yelling at me, saying, "im not in love with you anymore!" and, "I dont want to be married anymore!". He finally pushed me to the point where I told him "f*** you and go to ******!". The very next day, he was calling me telling me that he wanted to give us another chance, but just not right now. So we talked and decided that both of us are going to work on ourselves, both going to counseling separately and then eventually marriage counseling. Im starting to see the OLD him again. The man that I married coming back out, again. We've been spending time together, as much as we can, which is hard right now because we have 3 small children. He doesnt blow me off anymore. He does what he promises to do. The thing is, even when we are together, things are so awkward and uncomfortable now and I hate it! We were always soo close, I never felt uncomfortable around him about anything at all! Now it's so hard to get over this. Any advice on how to break the ice and the tension that is between us now? The other day I [color:"purple"] [/color] took a chance and I just grabbed him and hugged him and kissed him on the cheek. He gave me that "look"..that look he used to give me that showed how much he loved me without any words spoken...and we both had tears in our eyes. I know it's going to take us a long time to get back to the point of living together again, and it's going to take a long time for me to trust him again. I have to let go of the resentment I have towards him. I resent him for just leaving like he did instead of sitting down and talking to me about things and trying to figure out how to fix things TOGETHER. He just left. Neither one of us have any kind of relationship role models. His parents were divorced before he was born. My parents were never married. This site has been sooo helpful. I printed out the 2 questionaires and we are both going to fill them out and then over the weekend going to trade them and read what the other has to say. I think it will be a big help. I just cant stand the awkwardness we have between us now. It should never be there! I truely believe that we will eventually work things out and fix the problems that we have so that we can be stronger than ever, but it's going to be a long, hard road!
