Hi betrayschock--
Welcome. Here on Marriage Builders I hope you will find, as I have:
--people who are going through exactly what you're going through;
--people who have gone through exactly what you're going through and come out the other side;
--people who are going through exactly what your husband is going through;
--people who have gone through exactly what your husband is going through and come out the other side;
--people who genuinely care about you and your marriage and willlingly share their help and experiences;
and most importantly
--genuine people who aren't afraid to take a 2x4 and apply it to you when they think you need it.
I've needed quite a few of the 2x4's and they have been helpful.
We both had faults, but as I have read in several different posts in MB it wasn't my fault that he decided to have an Affair.
Recognizing that you both share culpability for the condition of the pre-Affair marriage is a great first step.
You are correct, the affair wasn't your fault. It was his choice and decision.
What you do about it IS your choice and decision.
I have experienced after my wife's affairs were discovered and the initial tulmult subsides a "honeymoon" period in which we are both very loving and supportive. For me, it was a Plan A type of affection and love -- trying to show her that I love her and she is valued by me. For her, I think it is (currently) a period in which she is trying to make up for the pain and hurt she has caused me.
Unfortunately, ALL honeymoons come to an end. This is not intended to be discouraging -- hopefully the recovery and repair you have been engaged in during the honeymoon keeps your marriage growing. But the normal needs of life and minor disputes married couples have will inevitably resurface.
In a way, I look forward to the honeymoon ending. It will be a sign that we are moving on to "normal" life together and can rebuild trust and comfort in the midst of everything else that happens in life (kids, school, work, travel, etc).
Hopefully your marriage is stronger after recovery and able to work through them.
You are doing good by being here. Keep posting questions, thoughts, feelings. Read posts by others that are in your place right now. There is a wealth of wisdom in many of the members here. They have helped me in so many ways that I can't begin to thank them all.
Blessings