Thanks for the story and the input. I do appreciate it.

My ignorance of the level of pain experienced during those times likely corrolates to my confusion over her inability to remain committed to me now.

I'll continue to love her and hopefully she'll rediscover some love for me too.

The part that i don't understand is that we had oodles of family all around us during this crisis. Why would she need to seek out a friend of mine on the internet for support. Why would he invest in a married woman?

I love my wife so much that i can hardly watch her do these things that seem so out of character.

The goal is to be the one that she feels that she can emotionally invest in again. It seems like an insurmountable objective right now.

Foggy Talk from an active WS.

Dribble, dribble, blah, blah.

She will keep on coming up with the dribble as long as she is in an active affair.

If you break apart the affair, her rational thinking will come back.

Expose, expose, expose.


sincerely,
k.d.'s heartbreak

What else can i do? The more i criticize the morality of it, the angrier and more withdrawn she gets. There is nobody left to expose to and she has moved 1000 kilometres away to be with this loser. It may run its course and reality may set in but maybe not. In the meantime it's an absolute living ****** for me.
Do i continue to apologize for my role in the marital breakdown? That pain seems to have manifested into the brick wall which prevents any empathy or love from getting through.

This thing is eating me alive lately.

I'm supposed to call her tomorrow but just hearing her voice sends me back to square one.

Quix:

Why are you "supposed 2" call her 2morrow? Is it something you agreed with her 2 do? Something she wants? Something you want?

If it's part of your plan A - which is hard 2 do remotely, but not impossible - then I would try 2 hang tough and keep an even keel when you call.

But if it isn't, and you don't want 2 hear her voice because it upsets you, why call?

If you haven't already done so, I'd schedule a session with one of the Harleys (go 2 the counseling center at the top of the home page). Saving such a young marriage when the WS has moved away is very difficult, but not impossible. You will want the help of an experienced expert on this.

You might post a query 2 graycloud. His W of 10 years left in a pretty big hurry. They're DV'd now. He tried plan A and plan B from separation. It's a lot harder 2 do when there are no kids.

-ol' 2long

Quix,

Just a question. Have you addressed your loss of the children? I mean you have lost three children as well. I realize that your attachment is NOT the same as your W's, but they represented your future and plans for the future as well.

God Bless,

JL