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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 2
B
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 2
My husband of 3 ½ years wants to be friends with his ex girl friend, who when we dated, he cheated on me a million times with.

He said he needs me to trust him. I trust him except when it comes to this girl. After a million of tears, and my heart broken a million times, and 3 ½ years of marriage, I thought this was behind us.

We have a 1 year old son, and I just don’t see any thing good to come out of this.

She recently gotten married, and has a little girl about 15 mths.

I just think its time to grow up and be adults.. What does everyone think?


Successfully Broken
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 2,578
P
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Sounds like trouble to me.

When he says, "You need to trust me." You say, "I NEED you to stay away from her PERIOD. Not only do I NEED you to NOT have a friendship with her. I also NEED you to NOT have phone conversations with her. If this NEED of mine is not met, I WILL NOT be able to love or respect you EVER AGAIN.


Me: 56
H: 61
DD: 13 and hormonal
DS: 20

Oldest son died 1994 @ age 8

Happily married 30+ years
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 833
W
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 833
I second pieta!

This is a HUGE [color:"red"] Red [/color] flag!

If he has already cheated on you with her it has nothing to do with your trusting! They can't trust themselves to behave around each other!

For the sake of YOUR marriage and HER marriage your H and OW should have no contact at all whatsoever.

Your instincts are right on in this sitch! You can not allow this contact to continue. To do so would likely iniate the countdown to a full blown affair. No Contact is a must!

Does OWH know about their past relationship? He may be willing to help you with this.

Good luck with this! Remember this is NOT an issue about your trusting your H. It is about your H's inability to trust himself with OW. Don't let him tell you anything else.

Stay Strong!


WTF *** Warning *** Make sure brain is engaged before shifting mouth out of Neutral.
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 2
B
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 2
I agree with you all, i dont know if her husband knows anything about there past relationship or not. She use to be a wild girl and probley still is, her now husband isnt the father to her little girl....

Its been a few days and hubby ant mention it again..... I hope he is over this kick.


Successfully Broken
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 833
W
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Good luck with this!

If this continues to be an issue post back.

We'll try to give you the benefit of our "experience".

Stay Strong!


WTF *** Warning *** Make sure brain is engaged before shifting mouth out of Neutral.
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 103
S
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Posts: 103
Both of you need to read "Not Just Friends" by Shirley Glass. You are more important than his friendship with the OW and he needs to understand that.

Stumbling


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