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Marriage Builders Forums Our Archives Archived Read-Only Posts Archived Pre-marriage and the Early Years Husband wants to be friends with ex girlfriend/cheating partner

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Husband wants to be friends with ex girlfriend/cheating partner #1747119 09/13/06 08:46 PM
Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 2 B broken_1 Junior Member
broken_1 Junior Member B Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 2	My husband of 3 ½ years wants to be friends with his ex girl friend, who when we dated, he cheated on me a million times with. He said he needs me to trust him. I trust him except when it comes to this girl. After a million of tears, and my heart broken a million times, and 3 ½ years of marriage, I thought this was behind us. We have a 1 year old son, and I just don’t see any thing good to come out of this. She recently gotten married, and has a little girl about 15 mths. I just think its time to grow up and be adults.. What does everyone think? Successfully Broken

Re: Husband wants to be friends with ex girlfriend/cheating partner broken_1 #1747120 09/14/06 10:26 AM
Joined: Aug 2005 Posts: 2,578 P pieta Member
pieta Member P Joined: Aug 2005 Posts: 2,578	Sounds like trouble to me. When he says, "You need to trust me." You say, "I NEED you to stay away from her PERIOD. Not only do I NEED you to NOT have a friendship with her. I also NEED you to NOT have phone conversations with her. If this NEED of mine is not met, I WILL NOT be able to love or respect you EVER AGAIN. Me: 56 H: 61 DD: 13 and hormonal DS: 20 Oldest son died 1994 @ age 8 Happily married 30+ years

Re: Husband wants to be friends with ex girlfriend/cheating partner pieta #1747121 09/15/06 01:17 PM
Joined: Nov 2005 Posts: 833 Wiscowsin W walkingthefield Member
walkingthefield Member W Joined: Nov 2005 Posts: 833 Wiscowsin	I second pieta! This is a HUGE [color:"red"] Red [/color] flag! If he has already cheated on you with her it has nothing to do with your trusting! They can't trust themselves to behave around each other! For the sake of YOUR marriage and HER marriage your H and OW should have no contact at all whatsoever. Your instincts are right on in this sitch! You can not allow this contact to continue. To do so would likely iniate the countdown to a full blown affair. No Contact is a must! Does OWH know about their past relationship? He may be willing to help you with this. Good luck with this! Remember this is NOT an issue about your trusting your H. It is about your H's inability to trust himself with OW. Don't let him tell you anything else. Stay Strong! WTF * Warning * Make sure brain is engaged before shifting mouth out of Neutral.

Re: Husband wants to be friends with ex girlfriend/cheating partner walkingthefield #1747122 09/15/06 09:01 PM
Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 2 B broken_1 Junior Member
broken_1 Junior Member B Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 2	I agree with you all, i dont know if her husband knows anything about there past relationship or not. She use to be a wild girl and probley still is, her now husband isnt the father to her little girl.... Its been a few days and hubby ant mention it again..... I hope he is over this kick. Successfully Broken

Re: Husband wants to be friends with ex girlfriend/cheating partner broken_1 #1747123 09/19/06 03:12 PM
Joined: Nov 2005 Posts: 833 Wiscowsin W walkingthefield Member
walkingthefield Member W Joined: Nov 2005 Posts: 833 Wiscowsin	Good luck with this! If this continues to be an issue post back. We'll try to give you the benefit of our "experience". Stay Strong! WTF * Warning * Make sure brain is engaged before shifting mouth out of Neutral.

Re: Husband wants to be friends with ex girlfriend/cheating partner walkingthefield #1747124 09/20/06 11:29 AM
Joined: Aug 2005 Posts: 103 S Stumbling Member
Stumbling Member S Joined: Aug 2005 Posts: 103	Both of you need to read "Not Just Friends" by Shirley Glass. You are more important than his friendship with the OW and he needs to understand that. Stumbling

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