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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 150
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OP
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 150 |
For those brave souls in recovery, can you share your NC letter with me?? If there is an OC involved even better!! BH does not want to enfuriate the OM so we are not sure we will even send this NC letter or perhaps have our attorney do it.
TIA!
Becca hmm... I need a signature line.... it will go something like this:
WW (me) 36
BH 37
Married 16 yrs, 12D, 4D, 3mthD OMC
A 12/04 to 10/05
False Recovery 10/05 to 9/06
OC born 6/8/06
WW (me) 36
BH 37
Married 16 yrs
3 children, 12DD, 4DD, 7 mths DD (OC)
D-day 8/05
2nd D-day 10/05 *OC*
3rd D-day 6/08/06 DD *OC* born
~~ If I had known then what I know now ~~
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464 |
Becca - if your husband won't come here to MB to see why he should do a NC letter, please encourage him to email me. Did he see my email to him? I would really like to help him through this.
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
Here is what the Harley's say -
My advice is to write a final letter in a way that the victimized spouse would agree to send it. It should begin with a statement of how selfish it was to cause those they loved so much pain, and while marital reconciliation cannot completely repay the offense, it's the right thing to do. A statement should be made about how much the unfaithful spouse cares about his spouse and family, and for their protection, has decided to completely end the relationship with the lover. He or she has promised never to see or communicate with the lover again in life, and asks the lover to respect that promise. Nothing should be said about how much the lover will be missed. After the letter is written, the victimized spouse should read and approve it before it is sent.
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 10,044
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 10,044 |
Mcb, I do believe that if you are going to send the letter that the format will be similar to what you will find on this site. However, you might want to consider speaking to your attorney first since you do not want to do anything that results in the OM changing course when it comes to getting his parental rights signed over. Your attorney might suggest that you get this done first and foremost. In the meantime, you can change emails accounts and phone numbers and let the attorney initiate the contact regarding the legal stuff. After this is completed, you can always decide to send the NC letter at that point. I just would hate to see anything happen which would irritate this guy to the point where he decides that come hel! or high water, he is going to make waves to see his baby. You and your H do not need that right now.
Good luck.
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Joined: Jun 2004
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