That is both a horrible attitude, and a false attitude.

There were early writings around the founding of america, something along the lines of, "there can only be good government, so long as the people are steadfast in electing honest officials".

Now we have dishonest officials, and badly warped government, just as predicted. and just as predicted, it is because people elect people based on "what are they going to do for ME?" rather than, "is this a good person to have in office, for the overall good? [ie: are they an honest, trustworthy person?]"

Well I voted for Jimmy Carter way back when simply because I believed he was a good man. I still believe he is a good man. He was just a lousy president.

I believe the idea of representative democracy is exactly that - electing people to represent me and my interests. it is not to elect people who are good human beings who will somehow magically make my world better. Now, if my interests are good and just, hopefully I will look for a candidate to meet those goals. But we all know that is not how it works because power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely.

However politicians are politicians and they represent themselves as whatever they think will get them elected.

Shall we review Thomas Jefferson's extra-marital activities, for example? Were people "better" 250 years ago? Not likely.

Pio, you're on your own on this one. My standing up for you only goes so far. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

That's okay. Being disappointed by women comes naturally to me. I've been well trained. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Talk about lowering my self-esteem though. Now I have to deal with my horrible attitude. Just when I think it can't get any worse - "it" proves me wrong. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

well, I dunno... the image of OW buried up to her neck with big rocks coming at her head has a certain appeal for me...

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Alph.

I am only a messenger here. I don't condone the stoning or I could have reported my WW to the police. I am simply stating a side of things that some of you may not be aware of but a very large portion of the world's population believes in. To be able to ask that question demonstrates a very clear misunderstanding of how people of a certain faith believe. For them, it is no question. Again, I don't condone it so don't hammer me. Eastern and Western religions are not very well understood by each other.

AFAIK, the stoning is a women's only event and, in your case, you might even get to cast the first stone.

I believe what you are thinking of is the penalty for rape.

Oh the injury is definitely permanent.

"They" say that cats will suck away a baby's breath if you don't keep them out of the cradle. I always wondered who "they" were...

"So enact laws against adultery. It won't stop it. All it might do is give the BS leverage when he/she files for divorce."

Pio,

Exactly my point.

BTW, I spent 3 months in Saudi right after 9/11. (I was actually trying to get there ON 9/11, but was obviously delayed).

Thanks for your honest inputs..I wish my H could be that honest.

vows,

I wish you would give some thought to my idea of changing your screen name. I really do think it keeps you in the wrong place. My previous screen name was (in Spanish) "betrayed". Some people felt that held me back. JMO. Give it some thought.

BTW, I'm really sorry you found the need to be here. I hope it gets better for you.

Were you here visiting family or was that military? I can't remember when the military "officially" moved to Qatar. Three months is about the validity of a visit visa and not many women get visas to come here alone. Just being nosey.

I was in the AF, retired 4 yrs ago. It was interesting being over there, but I hated being away from my family.

You may have a good point about the name; I'm tired of being a victim. I'll have to cipher on this.

Then you have my respect.

The AF is officially gone now. Odd that we still see all these anglo people walking around with really short haircuts. I live in the glide path of Dhahran airport about 1 Km away. The F16s fly REALLY low here. I have my own private joke. The F16's fly touch-and-goes all day and most of the night. Always the same pattern (a CCW circle over us). My private joke is that they get in combat and the AWACS tells a pilot "turn right heading 160 contact three miles". The pilot replies in a panic "but we never practiced turning right!".

The noise must be very annoying...not doing much good for our relations, is it?

Yes the noise is deafening and especially when they go into after burner. Sometimes I just want to scream. At least one day a week they go supersonic. That gets us a bit paranoid because when you hear a loud boom here and the windows rattle, your first thought is not "oh...airplane".

Then the infantry does live fire on the practice range across the fence in the mornings at 6:00.

Wow! This conversation got a bit heated. I do think that you are correct Piojitos. We do get desensitized to things.

This is ultimately a problem of morality and character, rather than a legal problem. But too so is murder and theft. While laws will never solve the problem, they can deter or reduce.

Our society has glamorized so many things that fed our self-indulgence. The television is so bad. The outside world appears to perceive us as indulgent which we are -- but the reality is that so many of our problems are related to comparing ourselves and feeling that we do not meet up to this standard.

We also enable the behaviors. Shrugging them off. Enabling the behaviors. So many enable adultery like they enable drug use.

I don't think my mother-in-laws response to my WS A was common -- she let him know right away this is not the way to deal with an unhappy marriage.

Several years ago my best friend from high school had an A. She called me up, told me about it, wanted me to meet the guy. Her H one of my closest friends as well did not know about it. I in effect told her "I am not going to tell him, but I won't lie if he asks me either. I don't want to meet him, I love you, but I cannot enable your relationship with this guy." This put a dampering on our relationship for many years. I don't regret it for one second, but it took her awhile to forgive the feeling of being judged, which I was not, just standing for what I believe in.

A little tibit on that to get a laugh! The funny thing about the situation with my friend is that my husband is the only one I ever told about that situation and it was a couple years after her affair. He lost total respect for her, didn't want me spending time with her, etc. Then he turns around a couple years later and does it himself. When we were in the heat of the mess I wanted to get away and go spend the weekend with her -- he was not at all open to the idea. He has since suggested that I take the girls and go spend the weekend with her. Note that I take the girls with me. LOL!

Blessed_Angel,

I don't know. Your story has just about the same effect on me as the chili contest. I'm just not laughing. I don't know what is wrong with me. I don't laugh much lately.

I tell you what did make me laugh today. I have an employee who is Colombian and he has this characteristic that drives me insane. I know it is cultural and natural to him but I hate it. No matter how often I see this guy during the day, whenever I see him in his office, in my office, in the hallway, the elevator, he always greets me by shaking my hand. So I was thinking of ways to stop this behavior. Last time I saw him, just as he was about to stick his hand out, I faked a really loud, wet sneeze and covered it with my right hand. Then I looked at my hand with a disgusted look and wiped my hand on everything I could find (even though it wasn't wet). Then I shook his hand. The look on his face was priceless. That made me laugh. Hey, maybe I do have a horrible attitude?

Seriously, your WH fell into the thing he abhorred the most. It is when we think we are immune that we are most at risk.

Do you really think laws against murder and theft deter it? I wonder. I don't know of any country where murder is legal. Murders and robbery in the USA are "minimal" not because people believe they might be caught. I think crime is an abberation because people are basically moral beings. I don't need to fear jail to prevent me from killing someone. I think crime is minimal in the USA because the society is functional. Look at some place like, oh, Somalia. It has the same laws but they are respected much differently. Why? Because the society has broken down and no longer works.

The problem with infidelity is that the government doesn't view it as hurting anyone. I am not talking about the BS or the children. It doesn't increase health care costs to businesses so shareholder value is not diminished. It doesn't cost government by forcing them to increase social services. Place a dollar value on infidelity and a law will be enacted. Prove how adultery adds to the national deficit and you will hear a battle cry in congress.

Just like Jerry Maguire: show me the money. If you want a law against adultery, don't try to appeal to a politician's moral character. Show him the money - i.e. the cost to the taxpayer. Does divorce increase or decrease federal revenue? Think about that.