Sadly, my wife moved out last week and I helped her move the heavy stuff Saturday. BTW, Saturday was our 11th anniversary; happy anniversary to me  . We have two beautiful children, 8d and 6s with 50/50 custody arrangement.

We have been together for 13 years and married 11. She was unhappy for the last 2-3 years and we have tried to make it work (mc etc…) but obviously it didn’t. She said she’s no longer in love and has no feelings for me; staying together in the same house is not fair to me because I’m very much in love with her. I agreed with the separation because staying in the same house just causes more resentment between the both of us. She said she does not want a divorce (at least for now) but this trial separation is in hope that she’ll get those feelings back. I’m trying to give her as much space as she wants so she could have her freedom to do what she wants.

I’m 45 yr old. She’s 40; stay at home mom for the last 6 yrs and just went back to part time work (3 days per week four months ago). She’s presently going thru menopause; she likes and talk about being young and act like it all the time. She's meeting and hanging out with younger (21 to 33) single female friends at a gym she started 3 years ago. She said they make her feel wanted and feeling better for herself. They appeared to be nice people but I just don’t think that is the kind of supports she needs then and right. She has 2-3 married female friends; neither they live too far away or could not hang out at night with her because of family responsibilities.

I’m going to lay low for now and see what transpire (good or bad). I’m going to give her 2-3 months of freedom then I would asked her either put efforts in our marriage such as MC or IC in place or we would go toward a divorce. I do want us back together again but just don’t know if this is the right approach.

Your situation sounds exactly like mine. Ages, kids, etc. I wish I had some good advice, but I don't. Stay strong and hang in there.

I'd say your position in the event of a divorce is imporved by the fact that she is the one who has left the family home, but hopefully if things go that route you both can work together to do what is in the best interests of everyone.

Mid-life crises aren't just for men anymore.

I highly suggest a local separated/divorce support group. Many are held at churches so call around or check your local paper. Or look for a www.divorcecare.com class in your area.

If you are interested in reconciling, this site gives great advice. Read all you can and do all you can do to prevent divorce. If you do, and it still occurs, at least you will know you've done all you can do.

I went through the same thing gave my Husband 3 months off then finally got tired of the not knowing and asked him to either come back or separate perminatly. He came back said, he wanted to try again but he didn't put much into US and barely anything into the kids. I thought we were the perfect pair then midlife hit him and the death of his father sent him into a tail spin he hasn't come out of. I am expected to allow him to stay out all night or run with single friends with having his companionship. I continued to give him space from July till xmas when he told me he wanted a divorce.
Said, he didn't love me anymore, no romance and he didn't want to work at it and I was more like a sister to him. Try as I might he wouldn't /couldnt make love to me and many nights I cried myself to sleep.
He has been gone since Jan 5th has asked me to file separttion papers and has started cancelling our joint accounts.

My suggestion to you is give your wife time away as long as you can then ask her to go to counseling with you. If she asks you to back off don't I think thats where I made my mistake maybe if I fought for him harder he would still be with me. It seems I didn't tell him and show him how much I loved him in the way he wanted. Wish I had pushed then I would know I tried my best right now I feel like I didn't try hard enough.

Good luck but follow your rules no one elses in the end you want to be sure you feel you did everything you could to save the marriage.

Not smiling.