Hi All I have not posted in a long time. Just thought i would update.

Plan B did go very well. It lasted about a week. I though i could go back to plan A but the pain was to much. I talked to a friend that is a paralegal a couple of weeks ago about LS told her when I decided i would let her know.

After taking to WH today I decided LS is not what would be best that D is what needs to happen.

Called my friend right after I hung up with him told her what I wanted to do. I asked how long it would take she siad it can be as long or as short as I wanted it to be.

WH and I are going to set down this Saturday to figure out what support I will need.

I never though it would come to this but he is so deep in the fog that i'm sick about it. He was my best friend. All of this seems like a nightmare. I just what to wake up.

I know I haven't done any of this like I should have. But I want to thank everyone who has supported me.

I'm sorry to hear that. I always like to believe there is hope. If you do go the D route, I suggest you think of your H as the enemy. Don't be too forthcoming and don't trust him until the papers are signed and the ink is dry. Divorce does strange things to otherwise "sane" people. Just protect yourself and don't think that anything your H is doing is in your best interest. Be nice. Just be careful.

My friend that is handling it won't play nice.

I just talk to her a few minutes ago. She will nail him to the wall if thats what I want.

I am not suggesting you get nasty. I am advising you to be prepared that he might get nasty. Also never forget the expression: beware of Greeks bearing gifts.

Divorce just does strange things to otherwise nice people. Don't walk away from the D with bad feelings - especially if you have children. You can walk away from the M with bad feelings if you choose but keep the D civil. let the lawyers get dirty and nasty. That's what they are good at.

I don't think it will get nasty, but if he goes there she will go there.

When I talk to her earlier she told me she was shocked when i approached her about LS because she thought I had the perfect marriage.

Thats how everybody has reacted "SHOCKED" even me when I first found out about the A.

I still ask my self how something so good could go so bad.

All I can say is that I am really sad for you. I know things will get better but this is an especially hard time.

I have had virtually no contact with my WXH for a year. We were divorced in July.

I have found no contact to be the best way for me. I let the lawyers handle the divorce (he refused mediation, thought we could be 'friends' and talk about him destroying my life and our children's lives over lunch and cups of coffee).

So, only a couple of very cold and professional letters have passed between us since September last year.

Some people have told me that now we are divorced, I should perhaps initiate contact again for the sake of the children. I don't agree. Firstly, 'pretending' that Dad and I are friends is an insult to their intelligence, and I won't patronise them that way. Secondly, I refuse to have any kind of relationship with WXH whilst OW is still in his life, because she has completely taken over him, and any conversation with WXH is really just a conversation with OW.

You will get through this. You are very fortunate in your friend! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

{{{Marflow}}}

Alph.

Alphin,Thanks for your post.

I fill the same way about no contact. He says he wants to be friends. He just don't get the damage his done.

I could never be friends with someone that has hurt be as bad as he has I don't need freinds like that.

Becouse the divorce won't be contested it should only take a copule of months. I can't believe that a 16 yr. marriage can be dissloved in two months.

I what to call OW and tell he she can have him.

LOL.....when my EX handed me the divorce papers to sign I said..........."He can have you"

She was like............. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Startinover Thanks for the laugh.