HERE* <~~~ link

[color:"red"] this is just a crazy situation ... the parent who is an abuser using this law to take the kids away from the other parent [/color]

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Pep

An abuser deserves to have his/her a$$ handed to them! However, I can tell you that abuse is alleged in many cases where it NEVER happened... or where the W started the physical confrontation and then called the police.

I have locked up a fair share of both men and women (many more men than women) that actually abused their spouse. But I have also locked up many women (no men) that alleged abuse that never occured. It has been used for many reasons... getting a man out of the house, custody situations, covering up their own actions (funny when we would get a call from the woman saying he hit her... when we get the story, she ADMITS slapping him first and he responded... she gets locked up... always with a shocked look on her face).
So, yes, there are scum bags out there that abuse their spouse and they should be kept from the kids... but just because someone alleges abuse does not mean that it actually happened.... or that the man was at fault. As often as not, there is a lot more to the story than meets the eye.

I understand & agree

did you read the entire article?

the article suggests that this "alienation" law not be used in cases where there has been allegations of abuse ... this makes sense to me

Pep

I did read the entire article. While it makes sense on the surface to not use alienation when there are allegations of abuse... doing so will encourage some people to use allegations to their advantage. I think there should be an enforced provision protecting the innocent accused in these cases... where criminal charges would actually be brought against anyone making a false accusation. That is exceptionally rare in the courts today.

Not one of the women that I ever locked up that had made a false accusation against her partner was ever prosecuted. It is just not pc to do so. The laws need to change to afford equal protection to all parties and not just provide lip service.

When my WH was not W, bio-mom, who had basically walked away from the kids, came back to town and sued to get custody back.

At that point, we were able to prove, and were ready to claim parental alienation with her. We never had to go that far, but had the evidence, anyway. She had been telling the kids horrible things (all provable to be untrue) about their dad, and also was claiming abuse (although no charges were ever filed, and she was the one who was physically abusive).

I think there's a place for this law -- it was certainly applicable in our situation. Sounds like it's definitely overused now, though, based on this article.

It really ought to require more proof than claims (true or not) of abuse. Claiming abuse isn't aleienating the child from the other parent .... but feeding them full of lies and ugliness, or making them unduly fear the other parent -- that's what should be considered parental alienation, IMHO.

-AmI.

Actually AmI

I posted this here hoping you would see it !

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

be cautious not to "dis" H in front of the kids

for every hard truth about WH you mention to the kids ...
give equal mention to some of his good qualities (even if you feel insincere at the time)

don't hand WH any weapon to use against you

the kids can truthfully say "Mom always said Dad was a good guy making some foolish choices" .... something like that

Pep

I always get choked up with situations like these. As an adult child who was denied access to an absolutely wonderful father for the first 10 years of my life, where the step-father who was a batterer created the barrier, this hits really close to home for me. When I grew up I felt like a token or price "my child." I was born a lefty, my mother made me write with my right hand so I would not remind her of him.

The last line "my children." What about the child "my parents" "my family." Children have no rights in the system. They get bounced back and forth, etc. etc. They didn't ask for that.

I saw this movie not long ago. The kids headed the parents off and filed an order that the parents had to rotate weeks in the house rather than bouncing them all over the place.

I'm sorry about what you went through for 10 years. It happens a lot with kids and their dads and often times leaves the child with scars that are not evident until adulthood.

I LOVE the idea of the parents rotating. How's that for keeping as stable a home for the kids as possible.

I do too!

What was the name of that film?

Pep <~~~ I've got Netflix and I'm not afraid to use it! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />