I have been posting over on the genral board but the wife has served me papers as of Sept. 1st.

My history can be found here:
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...e=0#Post3104255

I was hoping someone on this forum might have a last ditch plan / idea for me to stop the Divorce as I do not want it.

She is coming to pick the rest of her stuff up on Saturday. I am not planning on being here as I was in plan B before being served. Should I write her a letter and leave it on the table, do nothing? Does anyone have a plan that may have a chance of snapping her out of insisting on the D?

Or do I need to get it thorugh my thick skull it is over. I have had counsel review the papers and they are fare if there is such a thing in divorce.

Thanks!

Please don't leave her a letter. I doubt there was much left unsaid. Look I don't want this either but there is plenty of proof on these boards that you can't 'snap her out of insisting on the D'. Remember you are dealing with someone illogical. Would a crack addict respond to a nice letter of love? Protect your heart and assume any response to this letter will hurt you and your plan to 'preserve your love for her'.

Please also have someone at your home when she picks up her stuff. It can wind up costing you a lot of money to have your attorney 'get back' anything she decides to take.

For me it included some of my jewelry, all of our financial documents, deeds, birth certificates and even my checkbook and drivers license.

Yes, I too thought he'd never do that but it's been almost 3 mos. and although he's been ordered to return it. I haven't seen any.

There is nothing you can do at this time. Maybe in time, with both of you divorced their can be a reconciliation. But at this time, you need to let her get her things. If you are not going to be there....you need to have someone there. I too, was not here and it has been 4 years and I will never see the stuff again. They have it, they deny it, they hide it and there is nothing that you can do to prove that it was yours and that they have it.

It is a hard road, now you have to protect yourself, for she doesn't care! YES she doesn't care!!!!! I too, thought my ex still cared...but I was wrong. Don't leave a letter, she is not going to read it and she will probably just throw it away.

Good luck and Blessings.

Just wanted to say I am sorry you are going through this and are still hurting. I generally do not post here and have been posting on GQ board, but read your post and felt that I feel the same way, so I understand where you are coming from. Unfortunately, your soon-to-be xW will probably not appreciate your letter - she may read it, but it will probably do not do anything. My WH is the same way - they all can only think of their needs and they are in this extremely selfish mode. Nothing can reason them. They have a strong sense of entitlement, and they feel they are the victim.

I do not want get divorced either, but realized that WH really does not care about me. He is only seeking 'his' happiness, and I'm sure your wife is the same way.

Try to protect your heart - you do not want to get hurt again...

Milk

I concur! There is NOTHING you can do at this point. Save your energy. Do not do what she would expect you to do and that is talk love, love, love.

I agree with MS, they have a strong sense of entitlement. My WH, (STBX) bragged about being the first to file for D. He's gone as far as negatviely characterizing me to his friends including his boss.

So, use the energy to concentrate on yourself. You'll get a better return on your investment than from a drug addict who is only going to bleed you dry emotionally.